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Major depression & social anxiety have been ruling my life and I feel so stuck. Lack of motivation, emotional overeating, loneliness..(my partner works nights and sleeps during the day, i have no friends & my family are either away or busy and I feel like I don't want to bother them) feelings of being worthless and hopeless, racing thoughts... I'm tired. And sad. No medication is helping and I have a support team around me (psychologist, psychiatrist, gp, mental health support worker) but I can't help but think why bother. Ive been holding on for so long and it doesn't seem to be getting better. I feel like there's only so much distracting I can do. Sorry, you probably don't want to read my depressing s*&t but thanks if you do.
@STORMGRL101, I get that 'abandonment' I feriority complex too. They don't understand our bpd level of pain, too often assume its a choice. Sometimes I'm brave enough to say 'I feel fobbed off' and the good ones take the time to explain. If you're like me there's a temptation to 'get in first' at the slightest hint of rejection / abandonment an P them off first. But after 30yrs doing that I realised I do have to sometimes stand my ground & work the system, play the game, know what I want and need and fight for help. The best wqy to do this is staying calm and be honest. Just because they treat you wrong doesn't mean you are wrong, it does however say a lot about them. I think they just want you to build some detachment coping, its hard not being listened to or understood, they don't get how painful it is. But some of us here do, keep posting. Don't let Blackdog twist the facts into false beliefs. You're just as important as anyone 🌷🌿
In response to: Re: sad&stuck
STORMGRL101Senior Contributor
Re: sad&stuck
I'm so sad and I'm hurting. Bad night is bad. 😭
Need to sleep. 😴
In response to: sad&stuck
SydphotogContributor
Re: sad&stuck
I feel exactly the same way. Tough to feel this way isn't it and you feel like every day is an effort and everyone else around you is doing OK and going places and you are not.
In response to: Re: sad&stuck
STORMGRL101Senior Contributor
Re: sad&stuck
Yes exactly @Sydphotog
I saw my support worker today and read her a bit of my journal. I think she was a little concerned as she asked if she could email my care coordinator to talk about getting me a new psychiatrist to see. I'm still struggling daily with SH and SI thoughts and I feel so empty and defeated. It's such a hard battle... 😓
In response to: Re: sad&stuck
STORMGRL101Senior Contributor
Re: sad&stuck
Having bad thoughts 😰 First time since being home that I thought about hospital again. Lucky I have company otherwise I'd have to ring through to triage. Told partner I'm feeling bad and he suggested we go to the movies. Found out I have been accepted for DBT but there could be a long waiting list maybe even up to a year. I can't wait that long. I'm so sad and scared.
In response to: sad&stuck
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: sad&stuck
Hi @STORMGRL101
Will going to the movies help to distaract you, do you think ?
The DBT might come up faster than that, hopefully .....
💐💕
In response to: sad&stuck
STORMGRL101Senior Contributor
Re: sad&stuck
@Faith-and-Hope It did help for a little bit but I'm still stuck in that dark place and I feel like a ticking time bomb I'm scared 😢 I'm trying not to think of the big picture just going minute by minute, hour by hour.
In response to: Re: sad&stuck
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: sad&stuck
That's the way to move forward @STORMGRL101 .... in teeny-tiny baby steps .... hour by hour .... breathe.
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