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living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

hi @Former-Member, @CheerBear, @Spookytookims, @Former-Member and everyone else

I've had a few ask about what its like living with DID. So I decided to do a new thread. First off for those who dont know there are varying degrees of DID, from just feeling far away or distanced to having distinct alternate personalities or identies. In my case I have distinct alters to the point they have names and one has even been diagnosed with autisim which is rare.

So to make it so people can get a better idea I'm Aj the owner of the body. Then there is Kelly she is around the age of 4. Kelly actually started off as my imaginary friend when i was little then I went through a period of wanting to be the imaginary one due to abuse from someone i trusted. so Kelly is also the Autistic one, she will scream when touched and doesnt talk often sits and watches the clouds. the longest she has been out is 2 weeks. I am not co-consious with any of my alters when they are out i lose time. Kelly will come out usually if i feel scared or insecure and can be hard on my partner when our son wants mummy.

Next is sarah she is around 6 and is the easiest to handle often my partner cant tell she is out til she starts humming somesort of tune (we havent worked out what it is) she is a typical 6 yr old and the best part is my little boy isnt afected by her when shes out he just thinks mummy has taken time to play with him.

Then there is Casey while she comes out very little she needs constant monitoring as she self-harms but she doesnt usually come out unless get real down. thankfully my son has never had to encounter her.

i also have another alter but she is not as distinct as the others.

yes most of my alters a littles or children, i have been told this is because of my age when my childhood abuse started and when significant truma was present.

i was three when my abuse started. i was 22 when i finally cut the cord of emotional abuse my mother used on me. if anyone has questions i am happy to answer them

168 replies

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In response to: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

@-Rayne- We have also found journaling to be the best. My counsellor writes in the book also, we have two books on the go at once which means we have one each and swap them over each week. She writes encouraging words and we read and reread.

In response to: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Hi @Maggie, @-Rayne-, everyone, how are we all? Journalling is great? I have 2 diaries, one a kind of pragmatic monologue - particularly useful the memory gaps. Another for expressing. Theres at least 4 distinct handwriting styles when flick through the pages. Messy.
Have a peaceful day 🙂

In response to: Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

@Maggie @Former-Member I'm sorry, I don't know what's up with posting right now. It seems almost nothing actually gets sent and what does get sent, is deleted. I should probably give up. I'm reading though... and glad that y'all are here and speaking our reality.

In response to: Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

@-Rayne- Hi, have you called a meeting? Sometimes I find explaining things from ( my ) whoever that is.. Side and putting it out there for the others to see. It takes a while, but you can work as a team, mostly. Because they all have different likes, dislikes, it can be hard sharing time. Whoever is deleting might like to do the writing. Just a thought.

In response to: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Well had a really bad week last week and ended up at the hospital due to trying to self harm anyway one good thing was im now back on anti depressants and at the moment they seem to be working. Head conference subject was how do we know who to trust......well that didnt end well. 2 say no one 3 say everyone 4 say judge them on actions......so once upon a time i thought i knew how to do this but......now not so much. I dont want to be alone how do i work this one out

In response to: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Hi @sketa, sorry you had hospital & self harm episode & hospital. I can't make out what what you mean about the conference sorry (my brain) but don't give up. Solicit help if you find someone trustworthy. Every day is a fresh start. ❤❤❤

In response to: Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

@sketa Do you have a psych, or social worker who you could talk it all through with?? Do you have someone in your life you can trust??

In response to: Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

I thought i did but he left after my last episode. I cant blame him he lasted 2 years. I no longer talk to my family and am finding that im starting not to trust anyone.

In response to: Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

@sketa I have trust issues also and have lost friends, but we are here to offer what we can. It's a different kind of friendship, but it is connection. Sometimes we can share more here because we are anonymous and don't have to pass each other in the street and wonder what they are thinking. Yet there can be a wish it was more, strange really. I hope you are doing ok today.

In response to: Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

@Maggie, do you have a therapist?
you seem to be mangaing DID very well.
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