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living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

hi @Former-Member, @CheerBear, @Spookytookims, @Former-Member and everyone else

I've had a few ask about what its like living with DID. So I decided to do a new thread. First off for those who dont know there are varying degrees of DID, from just feeling far away or distanced to having distinct alternate personalities or identies. In my case I have distinct alters to the point they have names and one has even been diagnosed with autisim which is rare.

So to make it so people can get a better idea I'm Aj the owner of the body. Then there is Kelly she is around the age of 4. Kelly actually started off as my imaginary friend when i was little then I went through a period of wanting to be the imaginary one due to abuse from someone i trusted. so Kelly is also the Autistic one, she will scream when touched and doesnt talk often sits and watches the clouds. the longest she has been out is 2 weeks. I am not co-consious with any of my alters when they are out i lose time. Kelly will come out usually if i feel scared or insecure and can be hard on my partner when our son wants mummy.

Next is sarah she is around 6 and is the easiest to handle often my partner cant tell she is out til she starts humming somesort of tune (we havent worked out what it is) she is a typical 6 yr old and the best part is my little boy isnt afected by her when shes out he just thinks mummy has taken time to play with him.

Then there is Casey while she comes out very little she needs constant monitoring as she self-harms but she doesnt usually come out unless get real down. thankfully my son has never had to encounter her.

i also have another alter but she is not as distinct as the others.

yes most of my alters a littles or children, i have been told this is because of my age when my childhood abuse started and when significant truma was present.

i was three when my abuse started. i was 22 when i finally cut the cord of emotional abuse my mother used on me. if anyone has questions i am happy to answer them

168 replies

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In response to: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

@-Rayne- wowow, work and studdy full time is a hard slog. and i know that it can be sooo exhausting having to present with a part that can do the job/study. a part that has it all together enough.

this week at work. i broke down. i was sitting in the staff room on my break crying just spinning out between identites. i had set my alarm for 8 mins. i have this stratergy that seems to work well at the moment to some extent. I spun out for 8 mins alarm goes off and i pull all resources to come together. i went out and my boss came straight to me and triggered an abuse part. i threw up in my mouth immediately undoing all my 8 mins of hard work. yikes.

totally hear you Briar. And it works well when things are well but when the boat rocks it makes it diffiuclt to balance all the things.
hats of to you!!!! strength to you!!!
and changing therapists is so triggereing. that is an effort in its self. how do you even manage to find time for therapy with work/study.

its ok you don't need to be here much but we are a saftey blanket for when you need it.

cheer squad for all of us!

In response to: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

@-Rayne- I wish I had made it, I came to that realisation when I was at my wits end from trying and trying and trying. I was just too exhausted and disillusioned to come up with anything else. It's just nice hearing from others of how they make it or don't make it, but then what does making it mean, different for all of us yet similar. Thanks to all of you for being here and sharing.

In response to: Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

In response to: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

I'm thinking of getting x4 wardrobes to cater for my different me's (moods, alters, states, others, parts, whatever's) So 'over' it!

In response to: Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

@Former-MemberI've got clothes ranging from size 6 to 18 !!!????? Male and female.....Good luck. Also likes and dislikes, keeps you on your toes or on theirs. I get upset when I have to watch a whole football match, I hate football, got it down to the final 1/2 Hr now.

In response to: Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

@Former-Member and @Maggie
wow i am so honoured reading what you have written. finally feel like i'm not alone. you get me.

me too!!!!
for me its in the form of reading about 15 books at once. its just different parts that reading.
and journals i have so many i cant keep track of who is writing in what.

In response to: Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

@mudsum@Former-Member I know what you mean, different handwriting styles. I found it helpful reading back over my journals, I actually saw progress. I found one of my most helpful tools was befriending the parts. I came to a big realisation, for me that is, that they saved my life back when I was small, they haven't changed now. I have recently found a new member, a small sad little girl. She can't have anything pretty but loves to play in the dirt, so we do....we kick leaves, find a swing... You probably know all this.

Have you heard the song How could anyone ever tell you by Shanina Noll. If you're interested it's on utube.

You are not alone.

In response to: Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

I'm so glad im not the only one. I have the multiple wardrobes and it doesn't always work. As for likes and dislikes, one doesnt eat meat and the others do try going out with that one. I (we) have a couple of close friends that help when that happens lol. Ive stopped keeping journals which i'm starting to regret now i'm starting to lose the ability to talk to everyone.

In response to: Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

@sketa
why did you stop journals. was it hard?
do you walk to talk to everyone.

In response to: Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

@sketa We are here to listen and understand, only if you want to.

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