Son (22) with schizophrenia

@Former-Member@patientpatient@mohill@Shaz51@Ivana@CherryBomb

I have now been at home with my son for a full week with no recovery support until last Friday.

A clinical nurse came to check up on him and the three of us decided it is wise to stay home another week ....

I have been ringing around after I had a breakdown last Thursday. I have never felt so isolated, frustrated, lonely, ignored, sad, so many emotions, I rang HelpingMinds a couple of times for help. I rang my work and told them I cannot possible leave my son by himself so it looks like I have to take another week off.

Son is still on waiting list for NDIS.

Son's application for DSP still being looked at.

I got that frustrated I told my son to put on his uggboots and bless his soul, I took him into Centrelink Friday afternoon. I told him I can only help him, if he helps me, and after some resistance and hesitation, he stepped in the car. I was so thankful, finally we are getting out of the house and we are DOING something!

I thought they can see for themselves that he cannot possible be productive at this stage nor at the next stage and we need help! Via NDIS a lot of support can be put in place, but until then, not a lot can happen, specially if he is still on a NewStart Allowance. yeah righto good luck NewStart.

I felt so terrible sorry for him, he was very anxious, he doesnt like government offices and the TV was playing loud and he was shaking his leg violently with his head between his shoulders and his hoody up, like he was trying to hide from everyone....so I asked if they could turn tv sound down.... and they did, the TV was turned off 🙂 such a relief.... for me and him, as I thougth he was going to walk out again.

They actually served us quite quickly too, I think as no one in waiting room could watch tv anymore lol

I got him to sign a nomination form too, but i not sure if he understood what he was signing.I am expecting him to cancel that at later stage, but he might forget (dont even know if this nomination will be beneficial)

The Centrelink officer was very patient and efficient and explained the processes of DSP application and he will still be required to do some sort of work or study as of his age, even if he is approved a DSP. Yes, I would love to see that happen too, as sitting at home alone leads to another relapse as just happened. She also apologised I was turned down for Carers Allowance at this stage as he washes himself and can make coffees and noodles.

She also noticed he had forgotten to report, so just as well we went in, otherwise he wouldnt have been able to buy his smokes.

Then, to my surprise this morning he wakes up at 8AM, this hasnt happened since about November last year! (I know he got up early 4 days a week as he was staying at a welfare organisation, sleeping on wee stained mattress on the floor in an office, but hey, he was safe and had a roof over his head.)

So I was pleasantly surprised, I thought, these wafers he is taking now, are helping, he has finally caught up with all the sleepless nights, sooooo he wanted to go back to Good Sammys as he regretted not buying some sneakers he saw there before, so off we went but they had been sold in meantime.

Then, we went for a lovely swim and sat for a while in the spa and steamroon. I was on cloud nine, I thought we will go on our overseas trip together afterall, we supposed to fly out 9/6/17 but he has been so unwell the last 10 days so I thought we can do this....

When we got back, he still didnt want to eat, so I said well its only 3pm, lets go for a walk, and thats where I made a mistake. We walked for 6kms and the last kms was a struggle. He was on autopilot, didnt say much, sighing, and throwing glares at me, then he said he didnt know what was happening, and it was bit scary, then I realised I had pushed him to far.

We got home, I sat him down, quickly got him some water, and crackers with some cheese, and told him I am here for him, and I sat with him in our backyard. We didnt speak, he still didnt eat. I said sorry I pushed you too far today, I hope you take a bite and fill up you belly you feel better soon.

He sighed and took a little bite, then another and ate the whole plate of crackers with cheese.

I said good stuff mate, now I will cook you some pasta will you be ok for few minutes while I go inside?

he nodded and I felt such a relief, he was getting bit of colour back in his face.

I quickly cooked pasta (had a big glass of red too sorry lol) and he came inside and ate two plate fulls.

I AM SO PROUD OF HIM, what a courage has he displayed to come this far.

We are going to get through this, but what a week its been, next week will be much better with few councelling appointments and another psychiatrist appt for my son.

Question remains....Who is going to look after him when I am at work? If he sits alone he will be alone with his mind and he cant get the motivation at moment to get distractions. My boss says it looks like you are being pushed into becoming his full time carer. Unfortunately this is not going to pay my mortgage so there has to be another way?

I keep suggesting my son to try to keep his busy mind busy with big 'D's (big D for Distraction) Walks, swimming, watching good movie, that sort of thing. He told me mum you talk to me like I'm a ret*rd.... whoops, that shuts me up.

Tomorrow is another day...

Thank you for reading my story

Hi @Grasshopper3,

TVs in waiting rooms is one of my pet hates (and the basis of my forum name). I've often thought that psychiatrists should be required to spend one hour sitting in their own waiting rooms with the TV at its usual intrusive volume. We've sat there patiently while "The Bold and the Beautiful" cast yelled and fought one another, overweight chefs added more butter to their favourite dish and even endured test cricket. The psychologist waiting room just has music, gentle violin-type music, and it's actually quite depressing to listen to. The psychologists should spend some time in their waiting room as well.

Congrats on the Centrelink visit, it always feels so tense in there and incredibly hard for my son as well. On our last visit, we could easily hear different conversations around us while we were being interviewed. There was a lady using the phone interpreter, a pensioner being told that she had to spend some of her own money to get into a nursing home, and a supervisor instructing an ill staff member to go and watch some training videos instead of dealing with the public. While being interviewed, my son formulated a plan to secretly leave an unpleasant note on the supervisor's desk.

@Former-Member, I noticed in another post that you were sometimes working from home. I used to work full time and, as my son's illness worstened, I was lucky that my workplace was flexible enough to allow me to work from home. A new CEO arrived and ended all that so finding work has been very difficult, mainly because I feel I should be home all the time now - which is one of the issues that Matosh is dealing with as well. I was wondering what general kind of work you were doing from home.

Hi @Grasshopper3, my son keeps busy online and has some interaction with other gamers. I know the online world has both positives and negatives, and we've sort of dealt with it by having the computer(s) in the kitchen so he's not locked away in his room.

Hello to @Former-Member.