The array of problems

Thanks @eudemonism Tis alright. I think I offend people all the time.

Tis alright. I think I offend people all the time. I'm about as useful as Sheldon at giving sympathy but I can offer advice which is my way of showing that I care.

A big part of the battle is to recognize what is really happening and to accept this it is happening. Accept also that this is how you feel.

Then you can apply The Rule:

If you don't like it, change it.
If you can't, or don't want to, change it then live with it.

We all tend to want to control what is outside of ourselves. That is part of human nature. Back in the 1700's Adam Smith wrote in his book on morality that the universe is too large and complex for the human mind to control so it should be left to god. Instead we should only focus on what we can control which is of course ourselves; our thoughts and actions.

Easier said than done, esp in our case 😉 However, our weakness in trying to take blame for things we didn't do (or couldn't have controlled anyway) is a flipside of the strength we do have in thinking and caring more deeply than the average person.

We grieve because we fear that we can't cope with that loss and can't have the good things we had with that person or situation again. All things end but all endings are the start of something else. Again easier said than done but if you apply the three points above of

a) accepting that this is happening and you feel the way you do without judgment, after all you have the right to feel the way you do.
b) deciding what you want to change and what you can do about that; sometimes that is simply accepting that a thing can't be changed so your energies are better used elsewhere.
c) use your perceptive mind and feelings to draw a picture for yourself of how you would like to feel and be open for opportunities that represent that.

Kinda philosophical but I hope that helps in some way.

🙂

This is what I don't like about housework: no matter how well you do it. It needs to be done again. I leave it till it feels important to me (as opposed to doing it because I feel that other people would tell me I had to). I guess that is perhaps a male view of things, or maybe Aspie. Who cares tho as it is my life and house and I can prioritize as I like.

Liking order doesn't mean OCD at all, just a desire, or liking, for order. I have that. Sure it may mean I straighten the cutlery in front of me at a restaurant and people laugh at me, but I am not straightening theirs - that's obsessive.

Life itself is chaotic. We like to pretend otherwise so we feel safe but really chaos is a great part of how nature manages its own greater sense of order (cyclone anyone?).

🙂