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The array of problems

eudemonismSenior Contributor23 Mar 2017, 6:11 pm AEDT

The array of problems

Well hi there everybody. I was just looking for people who may be able to help with some tricky stuff im faced with. -here's the life I got... -there's the life I want... and there is a whole lot of technical, physical, mental or emotional issues between the two.

I have struggled with mental problems for a very long time. And I think the gravity of the story and reality of my situation. Induces shock and trauma. And has to sink in over again each day. -But there is apart of me. That weighs things up and desires a better life and to help myself.

Now, if I could...I'd magically employ myself in a good career. And change everything around. But I can't! -so im more or less stuck with very limited options. Reoccurring problems. In the same circumstances. -which gets me down and becomes tiring...

And im tired of feeling like I do.

Im aware of what they say helps and what doesn't. -its just really hard to put into place and follow through with everything.

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In response to: The array of problems

eudemonismSenior Contributor26 Apr 2017, 12:24 pm AEST

Re: The array of problems

I'll watch the clip when I get time @Suess

In response to: Re: The array of problems

FizSenior Contributor26 Apr 2017, 1:05 pm AEST

Re: The array of problems

Thanks @Former-Member for the other site. That is interesting.

I had pegged my ex as possibly having Narcissistic traits (which she accused me of a time or two during fights and I sure hope ain't true) but I didn't peg my Mother. Silly probably as I realized that they were parallel in some ways.

In neither case could I suggest that with either of these women are/were overtly in line with the DSM Criteria but some of the Characteristics & Traits are spot on. My ex Hoovered (and I think my Mother does too but it is harder to see so easily as she is my Mother so I expect contact). My ex & mother finds ways to drive wedges between people resulting in Isolation. Both could bait. Belittling & Blaming are common enough but done subtly. My ex was good at making little promises like an outing and then withdrawing the promise, and that it was even made. There were False Accusations. Logic seems to upset both. I commonly feel that my ex was Testing - she truly hated me pointing that out.

I is not for me to diagnose but it is sure great to see the feelings I have had were valid. And that I should act on them positively as not doing so really did put me in a hole. Pushing 50 means that I don't have so much time to waste feeling badly about myself (to let someone else play their game - intended or not).

Time to have a better life.

Thanks again Seuss. Pop that on your list of good deeds for the week.

🙂

In response to: Re: The array of problems

AppleblossomSenior Contributor26 Apr 2017, 6:51 pm AEST

Re: The array of problems

I will watch clip when I get time too @Former-Member

I hope all of you are going alright. It almost seems as if you demonstrated GREAT conflict RESOLUTION. All 3 of you. I was privileged to be on sidelines.

I am abit pressured irl so am going to lay low for a while on forum. Just wanted to let you know so no-one took it personally. My brother is dying and possiblities of huge explosions are there with all the unresolved family stuff ... so I need to a lot of simple self care ... my music .. and foetal position in bed.

Hooroo

In response to: Re: The array of problems

FizSenior Contributor26 Apr 2017, 9:52 pm AEST

Re: The array of problems

Hey @Appleblossom

So sorry to hear. Be well.

🙂

In response to: The array of problems

eudemonismSenior Contributor27 Apr 2017, 6:39 am AEST

Re: The array of problems

Sorry to hear about that @Appleblossom I'm here to talk with or bounce stuff off of if you need.

In response to: The array of problems

eudemonismSenior Contributor27 Apr 2017, 7:20 am AEST

Re: The array of problems

I feel like writing and debriefing. And sharing my problems. Cause a problem shared is a problem halved. And I get a rush out of writing. And what I'm writing in my personal journals on my laptop may not be seen bye anybody for many years. -and it helps me get over the morning low I always go through.

Hopefully it's an interesting read for whoever sees it. And adds prospective to your own lives. -its been a tough journey and I'm not expecting it to get any easier. There is highs and lows throughout the days, weeks, months and years. And it's all compiling into a rather upsetting and heartbreaking scenario. -which I can only explain as being a struggle to survive and get bye. -I have suffered from mental health issues for awhile now. And from my own personal prospective the problems started developing from a very young age and slowly manifested into a broad array of symptoms. -that wound me up with a diagnosis and suffering the fate of being medicated on medicine 24/7 365. So for me to realize, accept and acknowledge all the little or big things. Which wound me up in this position. And to be helpless against it. Sometimes makes me feel very upset and caught in a trap.

And when I read such things as. No body knows what mental illness is. And there is no way to treat it. And the system is broken. And with proper help, care and support. People are making full recoveries and leading lives without medication. -I totally agree with this type of stuff. -there has been so much mumbo jumbo stuff I've read about mental illness and dealt with so many paid, trained and supposedly qualified professionals who are working from the basis of a broken and outdated system and their own prospective. (And finding help in the general public is not much better) -it becomes an extremely frustrating experience! Especially when the wellbeing of the rest of my life. Is at stake.

I've thought about how the foundations of society work and function. Quite a few times. And I'm left with this like. Surreal epiphany. That comes from my subconscious mind. Which leaves me truly bewielded and besides myself. With no real hope of being able to change my circumstances. Unless I'm going to be. Prepared to sell my soul. Or betray my mind. For the sake of the forces of oppression I am faced with. -so it's a scenario that has limited amounts of options. -meanwhile I've just been trying to be myself. And accept the way I am. And the way I think, feel and react too the renditions of everything in my mind.

Good morning. Hope you all have a good day.

In response to: The array of problems

eudemonismSenior Contributor27 Apr 2017, 7:22 am AEST

Re: The array of problems

Where does my life story live? Lol

In response to: Re: The array of problems

FizSenior Contributor27 Apr 2017, 8:33 am AEST

Re: The array of problems

Morning @eudemonism

Writing is good as it forces us (at least some degree) to put ourselves in some sort of order.

Also good it, if published anywhere that others might read, it lets us communicate with others. We are social critters.

If I may offer one observation: each time you tell your story it is the same monolithic thing. There are never any smaller details and nothing in the way of yesterday I went...

Have a good day.

🙂

In response to: The array of problems

eudemonismSenior Contributor27 Apr 2017, 10:00 am AEST

Re: The array of problems

I'm under huge amounts of stress, pressure and anxiety. Maybe that has something to do with it. And I'm learning that it's easier to be a recluse and live like a hermit. -typical prisoner of physciatry behavior.

In response to: The array of problems

eudemonismSenior Contributor27 Apr 2017, 10:06 am AEST

Re: The array of problems

I've gotten up out of bed for the last seven days. And thought. It's all to hard. I don't feel like dealing with society. And im not expecting it too change.

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