The array of problems

After all my dealings with the mental health system. I seriously think. That it creates a huge division and stigmata that works both ways. Where one side of the story feeds their narcissistic egos. While the other side is victimized as victims.

Doctors, nurses, psychiatrists, psychologists, support workers. It's how it works with all of them. And they basically take the sides of all the people who have wound me up in this position to begin with. -no need wondering why is classified as a broken system.

Yep! Watched both of those clips. And it's very sobering and disturbing at the same time. -I think about my life story from my own internal prospective. And I feel very broken. And I feel like it the world around me. And the people in my life who have done it too me.

Then it was like I had to sacrifice myself so everything else would go unoticed. And turn myself into the one who was in the wrong and who had done the wrong. And follow the path of all the qeus that were happening around me. And then desperately reach out for help when it all became to much to handle. And get told there is something wrong with me. 🙂

Meanwhile there's a heap of things just waiting to loop me back into the cycle. Whenever I tried to break free and get on with life. (People in particular) and on the inside. I'm desperately thinking. I'd like things to be different. I'd like things to be better. (With an understanding about life and problems and a level of acceptance about how it works) -you could say I've been cursed. And I basically know nothing else other then what my life is. (Who I am)

I reflect back on what I have been through from time to time. In a rational state of mind. Whether it "what I've done" or "what's happened to me" either physically, mentally or emotionally. (And perhaps spiritually) and there is good and bad in amongst it. But also some messed up stuff. -that haunts me! -and it creates some really negative stuff. (Cycles)

And when I'm unhappy, unhealthy and don't feel good. (Feel likes there's something wrong) -I desperately want a way out of it. Or too be living a different lifestyle. Or be more in control of my mental health. And more able to function properly. And live a decent life.

Instead I wind up living like a recluse and a hermit. And battle to get through each day. And it's literally like me and what's going on in my mind. Against the world.

I find that my alienation and isolation is generally self inflicted through (symptoms) and I don't like anyone challenging the authority they have over me. -so I validate that it's all in my mind (symptoms) and is caused by the traits of trauma -I try to validate they're all true and assume the role as a hard done bye victim. (Because the nature of the actual events in the time line of my life they stem from) -so I'm always in defense and retaliation mode( in my head) -when really the heat of the battle is over. And I link stuff happening today in with old wounds. (Shaped from me life)

And it's true. I was made a victim. Stood over. Abused (many forms of abuse... and abuse is abuse...) I was dominated bye others in traumatic experiences which left an impression in me. Where I was always trying to please those whom done the damage. Or figures like them later on in life. (When really it should of all been about me)

Then there was apart of me. Who done the bullying. Did the abuse. And done the traumatic thing. And my conscience and karma dealt with me accordingly for those things. -and I also found crutches, excuses and explanations that meant it wasn't my fault. And I was not to blame. -in turn becoming angry and going into blame mode. (Retaliating and defense mode. -after the damage was done) -manifesting into symptoms)

I read somewhere. That later on in life. "Victims will be drawn to abusers" and "abusers toward victims" and I think we all are to a degree victims or abusers. -it just depends onour approach toward ourselves. And both roles leave an after effect of the individual. And build character traits. -maybe research traits of victims and abusers.

I'm validating what your saying. And can understand it well. But I can only really talk about my experiences. -once all this stuff is taken into consideration. It damages any persons ability too "get on with life" and "get the most out of life" and in my opinion. That's the most upsetting thing of all!

Honestly I think the very best way to answer that is for you to read the core book.

🙂

Hi @Fiz and @Former-Member i hope all has been going well for yous guys. Living. Surviving. Looking after your wellbeing. Taking care of yourselves and so on.

Just thought id give you an update as too how things are travelling with me. And share my problems. Concerns. Woes with Yaz.

I been walking a lot lately and really loving the sunshine and fresh air. Been loving my writing sessions too. I have most things under control and am realising my prospective and opinon on anything thats going down in the world is just as important and significant as anyone elses. Which is gratifying. And rewarding. Cause God knows i dont agree with a lot of others out there and a lot of stuff thats happening and especially how it happens and goes down. So i have a push my weight around hour at least once a day. And God supports 100% when im doing this. The reactions are indeed interesting. To say the least.

If it were a case of proving myself right. Id have no problems winning the debate. And putting all the facts on the table in the process. But when i think. Feel and know. Id be up against the most naive of the naive. I usually just keep it between me and God.

D0 either of you think the mental health system is broken and needs a reform? I do.