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taking a break

Unknown userMember22 Mar 2017, 11:24 pm AEDT

taking a break

Hi Everyone

Ive come to the decision that i may need to take a break from the forums or at least just stick to my safe threads such as this one and my garden thread.

ive read quite a few confronting things on here, it not the people, its the stories of what theyve been though, its set off quite a few things for me and just reminds me of what a tragic world we live in.

i know there is great support on here but i dont think i can handle it at the moment. im at the stage where i think a hospital might be better for me to go to. i know mant of you have been or go to the there still so no matter how embarrassed i am about being young and having to go to get thigns sorted out, i know ive got plenty of butterflies flying around me.

if only i had supports off this forum but i think i need a break. i dont think i can help many people as much as id love to and i feel extremely bad for not being able to help but i guess i just need to limit abit more of what im doing.

as most of you know uve been through a fair bit and still going through it all and alot of things im dealing with on my own.

i dont know what to do anymore, it feel likes i cant trust anyone anymore, ive lost hope for quite alot of things including my mental health gettitng better and even at this point questioning it so much that i dont even know if its real now. i think id rather just hide away.

i havent been able to leave the house today and even said no to a ride on my horse and to me thats alarms bells ringing. so i think i just need to take a break and although everyone on here id the best and the only support i have so, its a probaby a stupid mvoe to make but i thing i just need to refresh myself and force myself to get up and do something and start trying to get my life straightened out abit.

starting with either going to hospital or getting in to see a therapist abit more to help me out abit more.

this isnt goodbye, i may still see you on here on my safe threads but i wont be around as much, while im not here ill be focussing on getting abit more help, working on my garden and my studies.

i hope you all understand

@Former-Member

@Former-Member @Former-Member @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @Heart

@Phoenix_Rising @utopia @BlueBay @Pepsimax @Former-Member

hopefully i havent missed anyone

110 replies

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In response to: taking a break

SpookytookimsSenior Contributor06 Apr 2017, 11:13 am AEST

Re: taking a break

@Former-Member Hello.... Id give you a tick icon but sadly wrong device. Just dropping in to say hello, hope to catch you later have some stuff to do this morning.

I'll put something up about our turtle island adventure this afternoon too, what do you think our first priority should be on the island?

Spooky

In response to: Re: taking a break

Unknown userMember06 Apr 2017, 11:14 am AEST

Re: taking a break

talk to you on another thread @Spookytookims

In response to: taking a break

Shaz51Senior Contributor06 Apr 2017, 11:38 am AEST

Re: taking a break

Hey @Former-Member, you changed your picture

In response to: Re: taking a break

Unknown userMember06 Apr 2017, 11:40 am AEST

Re: taking a break

yes @Shaz51

i drew the pink rose in memory of my nan who passed away this month and it was also her birthday this month as well so its for her

In response to: taking a break

CheerBearSenior Contributor06 Apr 2017, 11:41 am AEST

Re: taking a break

Hey @Former-Member - you mentioned this plan to me in the other thread so I thought I'd comment here to kind of keep in in the one place. My head goes a bit fuzzy when I'm jumping around from place to place sorry!

Your plan looks great and like Spooky said it's great to identify problems and try to work through them. That kind of self assessment takes courage because it can feel uncomfortable.

One of the things that's standing out to me is step 7 - give people more space. I may be speaking out of line here and apologies if I am but I find it can be hard to read what level of space everyone feels comfortable with, considering we're all different and we also have the barrier of non-verbal cues to try and overcome. The general rule I'm trying to go by, particularly in places that are busy and home to people who need them, is to hang back unless I'm called in. For example, for me one of those places is the octagonal room which is heaps of fun and sometimes like party central, but also, from what I can gather, a really important place for the main resident. I think I'm right in reading that sometimes busy is great in TOR but sometimes it can also be overwhelming and then it becomes unhelpful. So I've popped past to say a simple hi or thinking of you, and then I've stepped right back until I'm asked back in. Going by that general rule has helped me better gauge what space here means to different people I think. It might be something that helps you implement this part of your plan too, although maybe not and that's ok too.

I know that things are hard for you at the moment and I can understand how it might be difficult to ask for support, recieve support, give support, interact with everyone, allow for others to have space... etc - that sounds (and is!) so conflicting and confusing! I'm wondering whether it might be helpful for you to post how you're feeling in one of your threads, like the depression thread for example, and whether you want some advice or company or just a vent. People around here seem to do a pretty great job of keeping an eye on how everyone is travelling and that way you're still able to get some support and others are able to come past if and when they can.

I enjoy your company here and have everything crossed that you're able to work through things so you can feel more comfortable on here soon.

Great work addressing it all though, really. That's brave.

Big hugs little bug. Gotta go get my assertive pants on and have a discussion with a housing organisation now. Catch you later hopefully ❤️

In response to: Re: taking a break

SpookytookimsSenior Contributor06 Apr 2017, 11:51 am AEST

Re: taking a break

@Former-Member Yeah ditto... wat she @CheerBear said! Points up there yonder.

It's complicated for all of us. Even just recently @Faith-and-Hope was saying how complicated it can be

So don't you worry, you'll find your place. 😄

*hugs*

In response to: Re: taking a break

Unknown userMember06 Apr 2017, 11:51 am AEST

Re: taking a break

your not out of line @CheerBear and yes it is quite awkward as now im trying to assess before i write anything, includign my own things, im trying to be careful about what i say or how i say it. im still working that out though

i have difficulties sometimes reading and interpretting the posts so sometimes what i say probably makes no sense at all and not the answer that person was after but i guess we interpret things, or maybe its overwhelming to the other person which isnt the intention it just really is how ive interepted things.

another thing that has been brought to my attention is that i keep asking for reassurance for my feelings, whihc i really didnt mean to do nor did i realise until that was happening. i dont know how to identify it as quite often when im reading other threads (now that i know what validation is) i find that alot of people are trying to have their feelings validated but ive only just learnt as in within the last day what it is/means and that i was also doing it.

yes i find it hard to interpret how much space to give them as well. so maybe im just too overwhelming....

how do you interpret how much space to give? how to interpret threads/comments? how do you stop asking for validation? how do you recognise it?

@Spookytookims@CheerBear@Shaz51@Owlunar@Faith-and-Hope@utopia (hope you dont mind me tagging you, i know it goes against my plan)

sorry im not trying to bug anyone, im just having trouble working it out and would appreciate some opinons from older memebers

In response to: taking a break

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor06 Apr 2017, 11:58 am AEST

Re: taking a break

I guess what @CheerBear is saying @Former-Member is yes, seek validation and feedback for your feelings, but not everywhere and all the time, orherwise it indicates that you need more support than can be offered here, because everyone needs support, and it can cause over-balance ...... if, as @CheerBear suggests, you keep that sort of content on your Depression thread, it will be easier for people to come there to support you, and free you up a bit to be creative on your Garden thread, purposeful on your Study thread, only post on your Taking a Break thread when you need to take a break, etc .....

That might be a little less confusing and feel more supported. See what you think ....

💙💕

In response to: Re: taking a break

Unknown userMember06 Apr 2017, 12:01 pm AEST

Re: taking a break

yes @Faith-and-Hope

how do ieven recognise that im doing that though? thats where im stuck... i didnt even realise i was doing it, i want to move forward from here and take this as a learning opportunity but im not really sure where to start, i guess the start is the plan thats bee made and implemented

In response to: Re: taking a break

Unknown userMember06 Apr 2017, 12:04 pm AEST

Re: taking a break

so maybe i should put a number 8 in

and make it

8. keep one theme to each thread? so do as you said @Faith-and-Hope and keep the depression thread for that, the studying one for studying, the garden thread for the garden and the taking a break thread and so on

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