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Zoe7Senior Contributor
@utopia
It is the upcoming anniversary of my Pop's death which I was reminded of by the anniversary of a death for someone else. It has brought back alot of memories and grief.
Combining that with some other stuff in 'the real world' - I haven't known what to do or where to go. It really felt like I was on my own and really alone again. I haven't coped with any of it at all well.
In response to: Loss and Grief
Zoe7Senior Contributor
@Former-Member I could tell you every little detail of those few minutes! Mum just went into instant shock and disbelief. After I sat with her for a few minutes I helped her to finish dressing, grabbed her handbag as she walked to my car and drove her to where dad was working to tell him. Dad actually seemed to 'crumble' the most that morning. By the time I had driven them both to my pop's house there were a lot of people around - and during the next couple of hours a lot more came. Pop's GP did speak to me - which was great because he told me that he had had a massive heart attackand that even if he had been in hospital at the time it would not have made any difference - at least that stopped me thinking I had failed in any way.
After the comment about me being the 'strong'one in the family I completely lost it and took off forthe rest of the day and most of the night. I went straight to the city to a pub where I knew some people and stayed there all that time. My mum did ring the pub a few times and they said I was being 'looked after' and mum accepted that.
I didn't even hel organise the funeral or go to the viewing etc. - it was too much. Dad gave the eulogy at the funeral - I had at Nan's but this one was way too hard under the circumstances.
In response to: Loss and Grief
Unknown userMember
In response to: Loss and Grief
Unknown userMember
Oops, soz. Typing at same time. I can understand you getting away on your own after having to hold it do together for your mum and dad. You would have had to push down hard a lot of yourself that day, to be so 'present' for others. So glad u took more of a back seat at that funeral service. What a horrible year for your family.
In response to: Re: Loss and Grief
Zoe7Senior Contributor
It wasn't the best @Former-Member! Certainly not one that is forgotten 
The only consolation is that Pop was able to be with Nan again!
In response to: Loss and Grief
Unknown userMember
In response to: Re: Loss and Grief
Unknown userMember
In response to: Re: Loss and Grief
Zoe7Senior Contributor
...and he was laying right next to Nan's chair when I found him - still so close to her even then - pot of tea made, fire going and morning newspaper still unwrapped...
In response to: Re: Loss and Grief
Unknown userMember
I have to sign off soon @Zoe7, but nice talking. You go gently on yourself. Hot coco and dark choc and art therapy and fresh air and sunshine... ... All your fav things (self care). Know you are 'enough' - just as you are, in this moment, and much loved. Deep breaths xox.
In response to: Re: Loss and Grief
Zoe7Senior Contributor
Thanks @Former-Member 
Hope you get some sleep xxx
In response to: Loss and Grief
AdgeSenior Contributor
Zoe,
I really feel for you & can relate.
The day that you started this thread (first posted), was the first anniversary of my Dad's passing (March 20th).
I'm new, I only just registered for this forum
Thanks for sharing.
Adge
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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