@Former-Member Ok Last night I got an email notification from another thread that you posted a reply to me. I was in the middle of replying and warnings started coming up about unauthorised something or other. When my post wouldn't submit, I went back and all traces of your post had disappeared. So Anyhow.. this was the response I typed to you.
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Bella2,
I am glad you were in the position you could do that. What I wanted to do was not even go to him but to call police or emergency services to do a welfare check on him.
The problem was, in my case, he deliberately went somewhere I didn't know where he was, told me he was alone so I was not able to do anything except try to keep him awake and think he was dying for 6 or 7 solid hours.
By the time it was finished I think I had already started to be traumatised, but one part of me didn't care I was just so happy he didn't actually die. That was the beginning of his torment. From then on I started making choices I would never have before it. From then on the fog rolled in thicker and thicker.
I am almost sure he knew this and it's why he did it.
It was designed to weaken me, weaken my very core and question myself in ways I had never questioned myself before. Even if he didn't know that consciously he knew it would work for whatever reason and that's why he did what he did.
Of course then I did not know what I know now, and I had no idea anyone could possibly be that hurtful, self centred and devious.
I am so glad you were in a position you could do what you did. Because I would not wish what happened to me on anyone. By the sound of it, you too had more than your fill of the consequences of someone devious and manipulative who took advantage of the trust you placed in him.
I learnt a lot too. I never would have understood it had I not experienced it myself. It changed me on a very deep level, broadened my understanding no end. It gave me a whole new perspective on the depths of destruction a disordered, distrubed character can wreak on those around him, even without them realising what is going on.
Truly devious people are truly devious, that's the insidious nature of them. But I learned that even the experts who study them can be fooled by them, so I no longer hold that against myself. Education taught me that these people can fool anyone and very few even realise what is happening right under their noses. The fact I did know, although practically nobody else would believe me, makes me feel proud of myself. I just should have listened to myself and not them. That was my biggest mistake. Only one person around me saw it. One person out of countless people, some he even grew up with and had tricked all their lives.
The ingenuity of evil, as a British forensic psychologist calls it.
