Have we been forgotten about?

hi @Flutterbug9 respect your choices as recovery is a lot about boundaries and saying no.

I have been considering the same and weighing it up myself.

I was banned for a while and did a lot better without the forums, so it was tentative to come back. I am epxloring my feelings to see if this space can feel safe

@Flutterbug9 @EternalFlower @Bow

This forum is just one among several that I visit. They all have their pros and cons

SANE forums is more heavily moderated than any other which I visit. (Which is not a judgement of good or bad, just a point of difference) Including strict guidelines about anonymity

@Flutterbug9 I’ve been feeling the same, I struggle with all the changes and getting my head around the guidelines which I feel are different depending on who is around and I’m finding it more distressing to be here. But I have made a couple of really important connections that mean a lot to me. So I stay. But I’m really not around as much.

@Bow @DogMan79 @Flutterbug9 @MatchaToad i hear you.

I think online spaces come with risks and benefits.

I also think peer support comes with risks and benefits.

I don't know what makes a space more safe or how to tell if a space is safe. I think the first time I felt unsafe here was paradoxicaly when I put in a complaint. It was then that I saw i was not able to be heard.

I would hope sane could consider this - https://www.mhwc.vic.gov.au/trauma-informed-guidelines - in approaching valid concerns. The experience of not being heard can be retraumatising, as happened to me. I am stronger now, so it doesn't hurt me, but then it broke me completely. I hope everyone is doing okay and feels supported in finding their own voice, when someone believes you, it can be hard, but I'd encourage ppl to keep speaking to those who hear them, if they feel unempowered. Someone will listen.

That’s one of my challenges @EternalFlower @is not feeling heard. I don’t feel I can be open, honest and be me. I’m constantly on guard about something I’ve said being deemed ‘not appropriate’. Even playing field with the Guidelines, to me it doesn’t feel there is one. I don’t need and can’t deal with the vast range of inconsistencies.

at one stage I lodged a complaint with various screenshots from outside of the forums as evidence of my view. Reply was my view was wrong, no evidence or reason why.

only reason why I kept pushing to try to meet the new login verification requirements was I had posted to various people I would do something specific whilst in hospital and felt I was letting them down.

@Flutterbug9 maybe you just need smoeone to tell yu that your posts and contributions are super appropriate , in good faith, and very helpful to many ppl . I get the vibe u only wanna help others.

I'm sorry you felt so shut out

I believe you.

That complaint etc was one of a couple things that became final straw @EternalFlower.

@Flutterbug9 whats odd is there isn't a single person claiming that they put in a complaint or concern, felt supported, and received trauma-informed acknowledgement or repair.

If that had happened or was the norm, people would say so.

@Flutterbug9 do what u need for u as i fully understand.

I think im in a better place after my break from the forums. I was too scared to ask to come back so it helped me to take some space and i worker on my irl support network. I hadnt noticed the changes as tbh i didnt really understand how sane worked. I do notice myself censoring but i think it might be a good thing. I dont wanna overshare too much here anyway.

@EternalFlower One of the things that left me feeling unsupported and unheard relates to email I sent to sane forums asking for the consents to be typed onto a specific thread. Email that sat for days waiting to be actioned.