My silent battles

@Blackcloud my personal thoughts and experience, ND or non ND therapist doesn’t necessarily make the only difference and/or benefits. For me, it’s the actual therapist, their approach to things and whether I feel they take the time to actively listen.

Im fairly sure my therapist is ND, makes no difference to me either way. My previous therapist believed that EMDR was the only option, never asked me my thoughts. At one stage only way I felt I could tell her things was in writing. The typed letter covered things of feeling I had zero say and if things continued (or happened again at any time), that I would no longer have appointments with her.

some differences with my current therapist include me having been asked my goals for therapy, being asked how things make me feel.

I have Telehealth appointment with psychiatrist on Monday. When I first mentioned having this appointment, my therapist asked if I would like her to write a letter to my psychiatrist before the appointment, I accepted the offer. I had no clear idea what things to be included in the letter though which I told my therapist each time we talked about the letter.

Tuesday this week I spent approx 2 hrs with my therapist. I would say something which prompted a question from my therapist and this went on and on. I’m still feeling the effects, both physically and emotionally. I don’t regret that length of time or the topics talked about.

as part of the conversation plus an email the following day, I have submitted my answers to DASS21, PCL-5, CAT-Q and ASRS.

sorry to hear you had issues with the new login process also. I also spent about a week unable to login whilst waiting for IT to help.

tuesday next week I’m back in hospital, day procedure only this time. Scans done at start of May show I have a small tear in a tendon in my right shoulder plus some arthritis. To help reduce some of the pain in the shoulder area I’ll be having Pulsed Radiofrequency Neurotomy in right shoulder, as recommended by my pain management doctor.

what is an “open book” exam?

think it’s fairly common the lose motivation with things in general due to the cold weather. Do you have favourites that you like to cook? What are thoughts on one pot cooking or cooking in bulk thus putting some in freezer for other days?

at one stage I used to work about 1hr from home. I got in a pattern that on alternate weekends I would cook shepherds pie and stew, enough that I always had few meals of each in the freezer. My late husband used to enjoy making homemade soup. Different vegetables at times, sometimes with pre diced steak

@Flutterbug9 i would be hurt too and have had that happen many times

i don't know if it is fair to say family first, she agreed to take u....idk....

i would be hurt too, its very vulnerable to reach out. just wanting to show some support to you, it is indeed hard to depend on others. and u deserve to trust those u ask for help from. Hang in there

Hospital phone this morning @EternalFlower

I will need to leave my place by 8am as have to be at the hospital by 8:30am. Her daughter’s appointment is not until 10am. Gives her plenty of time.

@Flutterbug9 ive been through this too.

Do u think she didnt want to do it ? I am sorry this happened.

I can’t be certain but I have that feeling @EternalFlower

One thing is for certain, I won’t be asking her whenever I need someone to drive me somewhere in the future.

@Bunniekins My father used to get angry with me if I cried. Only way I found to stop myself from crying was to get angry and, sometimes, stay angry for hours. To this day I struggle to show any tears in public. Get home where I feel safe and flood gates open

@Flutterbug9 do you still cry? or do you get it all bottled up. i am on mood control meds so i can barely cry these days.... i have to be very upset to cry i miss it tbh. xx

A bit of trivia @EternalFlower @MissGremlin

Something I found interesting though (something I think my GP doesn’t know). Google tells me to get the highest Medicare rebate possible for pathology test, referral needs to be from GP or Surgeon. If referral is from psychiatrist for exact same tests, rebate from Medicare is not as high.

makes sense why my pain management Dr who is a psychiatrist in pain management suggested I have my GP do the referral for recent scans on my left shoulder. My GP got angry as “why didn’t the other dr do her job instead of me having to request the scans for her”.
words and tone from my GP had me feeling uncomfortable. My nervous system interrupted it as it was my fault for not standing up to my pain management Dr.

I can’t cry anymore unless I’m at home on my own @Bunniekins

Thursday I was in hospital I felt I was going to cry, then the feeling just stopped and I went back to what I’d been doing. Realising now how quickly I masked that day.

2 days later I was home and cried for ages

that sounds so rough and unfair that the meds take away your ability to cry. Very sorry to hear that xx