My silent battles

I am so glad that you have spoken with your psychiatrist @Fluttershy1 - how are the new medications sitting with you?

Oh gosh, I understand how destabilising waking from a nightmare can feel. Does Nova help to ground you in the aftermath?

I am also wondering if you have been seeing your psychologist/your other supports for talking/processing how you're feeling?

Here for you and looking forward to your reply - I hope you're singing and dancing where you can toooo. 💃🎶🎉

Wrong person @AuntGlow i think you were supposed to reply to @Flutterbug9 

I don’t feel there is anything for me on the forums anymore and hence I’m leaving. Ddont feel I’m welcome, wanted or cared for anymore due to mixture of things that have happened in different threads. Will I return at some stage, I honestly don’t know, doubt it.

has been few weeks on a new med and I’ve been doing really well. My interest in things, my mood and my energy levels have all increased. Feelings of not being wanted and other things on the forums plus regular back pain have annoyed me but I’ve still felt good within myself.

this morning I’ve completely lost all interest in everything and am feeling very miserable and low. I don’t understand. I had hoped the see-saw within me would stop with the new meds ….. wrong 😢. Feel like all the effect and energy I’ve put into making lots of space in my garage has been for nothing. Struggling to be able to clearly focus and concentrate on things. I wanted to try out a different idea for train layout using the computer program. Start to try, my mind goes blank and start to get a headache. So much for finding joy in doing things

not tagging anyone as, recently, MissGremlin is only person who replies or responds ☹️

Hello @Flutterbug9 sweet, I can understand how disheartening it can be when a medication seems to give that glimmer of hope but then things go backwards again, maybe the dosage isn't quite right just yet?

I'm sorry that things have been feeling so tough and that it's hard to find joy in things. I truly hope that things get easier for you soon sweetheart, sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️.

Hi Flutterbug9,

I read your recent post.

I can hear that things feel heavy today. After a few steadier weeks and some positive changes with the new medication, it’s understandable to feel disheartened when your mood, energy, and interest drop suddenly.

It also sounds like you’ve put a lot of effort into making space in the garage and trying to reconnect with something meaningful. Even if it doesn’t feel rewarding right now, that effort still matters, and I want to acknowledge the progress you’ve made.

What helps you feel grounded? It might help to take some pressure off, step away from the computer for a while, focus on one small achievable task, or give yourself permission to rest.

With the medication still settling, it may also be worth checking in with your GP, prescriber, or another trusted support.

I’m glad you posted. It takes courage to share how you’re feeling. We’re here with you on the forums, and you are seen and heard. Please keep reaching out for support from the community.

I hope your day becomes a little easier.

Take care of yourself.

AltZing-Connect

Thanks @MissGremlin @AltZing-Connect

I’ve turned the day into a semi boring, not much done day.

the reason I’ve been focussing on decluttering and making space in the garage I get excited about at times, then remember it’s not going to be able to be started for quite awhile. I’ve started decluttering my hobby/study/spare room. That means moving things temporarily into the garage, until I sort through things in the boxes.

I changed my focus on the computer and have spent time researching rubber matting options for garage floor plus timber options for the table top. Big ouch, lot more 💰💰 than I was expecting plus can currently afford.

following lots of google searching I’ve sent off query to Public Records Office in my state in hope historical files kept in their premises may help with a current unanswerable question. Due to different things I remember my mum telling me that happened within few days after my birth plus my child medical file there is a possible my mum might have been pregnant with twins but only one survived or was born alive.

my psychiatrist has recently commenced me on a 2nd med and am aware of differences within myself from when I started taking the new one compared to now. I will make a note about today and discuss with my psychiatrist at my next appointment in September. Will try to remember to mention today to my psychologist at appointment next week.

thank you both for listening and your care

few weeks ago when I saw my psychologist I asked for answers to 3 specific items, one being things I identified in Feb this year I wanted to focus on and get help with. Appointment was booked for Friday last week (to give psychologist time to read back over mths of notes etc). Last week I had to cancel the appointment booked for Friday, my cousins funeral took precedence, with appointment changed to this morning.

at end of psychologist appointment this morning I felt flat, annoyed and that it was a waste of time. I was told by staff at the psychology group I attend that appointment prior to this was the last of the 10 appointments for this year which was eligible for Medicare rebate. For rest of this year I’m 100% out of pocket for every appointment with psychologist ☹️. From there everything else continued going downhill including psychologist saying at end of appointment, looking at my puzzled when I made mention of things we had been going to discuss. It’s not the first time I’ve had something I wanted to discuss and only thing Ive managed to say has been at end of appointment as I’m about to leave their room.

one semi positive thing. Yesterday I sent email to b,d,m for my state with screenshots of some info I had found online about access to a specific register from year of my birth. I checked my emails this afternoon and found a reply. Email advised lot of info in the screenshots are not correct. Email did, however, contain some info about correct details plus 2 applications I need to print and fill in by hand prior to returning the forums, plus certified identification documents. one of the applications is to request a manual search of register for year of my birth, documents within the register may contain additional info than what was printed onto my birth certificate. Going to cost more than $100, to me is worth the cost in hope of maybe getting something in writting about a possibly twin. Wish my mum had insisted gp telling her what was in sealed envelope inside my medical file decades ago, instead of just accepting the gp saying it was nothing to worry about. For years I’ve wondered, if it was ‘nothing to worry about’, why was there a sealed envelope and what “secret/s” were with held from my parents

@MissGremlin @Taali

Hello @Flutterbug9 sweet, it's so lovely to hear from you. I hope you're doing ok since your cousins funeral. I'm really sorry to hear how the psychologist appointment left you feeling.

That sounds promising though about the birth documents, I hope you can get the answers you're looking for.

As always I'm thinking of you and sending lots of love and hugs ❤️.