My silent battles

Both my cats have been very affectionate the last couple of weeks, lot more than usual @Chasingsunsets

im looking forward to the week long infusion starting on 25 May. 2 days after my discharge will be start of June, doesn’t seem possible.

shoulder pains today have been lot less than they last approx 3weeks. Could be has taken a week for the injection to fully take effect. Still wanting to get referral to specific allied health professional. Today I’ve found out specialist I saw years ago for frozen shoulder is still working in the same field, will be asking for referral to see him.

last free weeks I’ve done as little as possible for benefit of my shoulders. Lots of things now waiting to be done. Not being able to do much due to pain has been mentally draining. I’m hoping everyday this coming week, starting tomorrow, are similar days as today

how are things travelling for you? How is your post surgery recovery progressing?

Night meds and routine done. Right collar bone and shoulder joint feeling bit sore.

@Jynx I have received almost all my school reports from my high school. Nothing for my first year. Mid and end of year reports for every other year. Need to buy some ink so can print and read them but easier.

quickly reading through I’ve noticed a pattern with most subjects, maths being the exception. Pattern of ‘late for class’, ‘quiet, works well on her own’, ‘failure to complete work outside class time’.

some comments make 100% sense due to impact of DV within childhood home.

sending you so many hugs my friend ❤️🌿🫂 @Flutterbug9

Appreciated more than words can express @Blackcloud

Feel free to ask me anything about my past or anything else any time you wish to. I have no problem with sharing about my childhood and since, only if you want to know. 😊

reading through the scanned copies of my years in high school was daunting. Painful reminder of 5yrs of masking. Over 5yrs going from an average student to struggling to pass any of my Year 11 subjects with not one teacher ever trying to find the cause.

How are things going with you and the workshop you go to? Have you had the assistance of support workers recently to enable you to have gone? Are you going tomorrow?

@Jynx @AuntGlow

not tagging anyone, just needing to talk. To put into writting the things I’m seeing in my mind each day and have been for days. To put into writting in hope of trying to ease some of how I’m feeling

Wish the tears and nightmares would stop. My sleep medication is helping get to sleep fairly quickly. Overnight I woke twice with nightmares, in tears once. nightmares of my cats not surviving being in the cattery. Flashbacks of 2of my pets passing away whilst I was overseas for couple mths and of a cat who lost lot of weight during 3wks at a different cattery whilst I was in and out of hospital once. Memories that come at randomly day and night.

my cats are the only thing I have to live for. My only reason for getting up every day. It’s all too much. Don’t know how much more I can take. I’m safe as I have my pets

trying to hang onto possible tiny, tiny speck of light at the end of a very, very long dark tunnel. Many years ago I was referred to orthopaedic surgeon who diagnosed and treated me for right frozen shoulder. Research has shown this surgeon is still working. Info within FAQ for him saying people living on their own can usually return home after 2weeks and that office staff can assist with organising nurse-at-home.

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first week of June I have appointment with my gp to get referral to orthopaedic surgeon. Surgeon I want to see was very good when I saw him previously, someone I feel I can trust. One week wait until my next pain relief med infusion, looking forward to that Monday so much. Packed most of my case yesterday, based on increase amount of pain in my shoulders and hands this morning I did too much. ☹️☹️

@Flutterbug9 oh sweet, this is alot to be going through. I can relate to the nightmares and waking up crying, it's honestly horrible. I'm glad you have your cats and I can understand why the nightmares are there especially as you're preparing to head into hospital and they are going to the cattery. I'm sorry there's been so many bad experiences previously but I'm hoping that things go smoothly for both you and your cats while you're in hospital.

Hoping you can see the previous person you saw as it sounds like they are someone you trust.

Sitting with you sweetheart and sending so much love and hugs ❤️.

Hi @Flutterbug9, thank you for sharing all of this, it sounds like things have been really heavy and exhausting for you, especially with the nightmares, flashbacks, and broken sleep. That sounds really distressing to be going through, particularly when it’s happening so frequently.

I can hear how much your cats mean to you, and how much comfort and stability they bring you, especially when things feel overwhelming.

It also sounds like there are still some things coming up that you’re holding onto, like your upcoming appointment and infusion, even while things feel really hard right now.

If things ever start to feel too overwhelming to manage on your own, it might also help to reach out to someone you trust, or you could contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 (24/7) if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to in the moment.

I hope today feels as gentle as it can for you, and that you’re able to get a little relief from some of the intensity you’ve been experiencing 💛

Thanks @Nala2022 @MissGremlin

this will be my 2nd time having the infusion. The cats will be at same cattery as last time, I’m fine with thoughts of them being there for just under 2 weeks.

its all the uncertainty that I’m not coping with.

small number of people where I live have talked about 6 to 8 weeks post-op in a rehab facility ie my cats in cattery for approx 2mths. Info on websites for different local surgeons says various lengths from 2 wks to 8 wks I won’t be able to be at home

Hi @Flutterbug9, I’m sorry for the late reply.

It’s good to hear that you feel okay about the cats being at the same cattery again for the shorter stay, even though the longer-term unknowns are understandably bringing up a lot of worry and fear.

Hopefully once you’re able to speak more with the surgeon and treatment team, you’ll get a clearer idea of what recovery may realistically look like for you, rather than having to hold all of the uncertainty on your own right now.

How are you feeling today?

@Flutterbug9 oh nice one, and yeah very interesting to see those kinds of patterns hey!

How've you felt whilst going through them? Any strong or unexpected feelings come up? Any memories surface?