My silent battles

@Flutterbug9 i don't have many words right now. But i just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you sweetheart and sending you love and hugs ❤️

Please know you are regularly in my thoughts.

having problem finding words myself @MissGremlin

Thankyou @Flutterbug9 sweet.

I understand the feeling of not being tagged and how much it hurts (i have rsd). I've mostly stopped tagging people within my thread as I know my posts can be triggering to others and if I don't get a response from someone that does get tagged then it can leave that open for feelings of rejection.

@AlwaysMyself
I was hoping to have talked to you in much different circumstances. Trying to believe things brief so much not for you to have to read.

im a self assessed autistic. One of the things I have struggled with for ages not knowing why, I know know why.

when not included my brain registers that as I’ve been excluded. Associated feelings are on confusion, extreme sadness, need for isolation, emotional distress and betrayal/questioning trust). My nagging about being tagged has stemmed from this. There is no intention of upsetting you in the above. I honestly was hoping we could have talked it through together, acknowledgement etc and move on as we always have. Only sending this as don’t know if will have that opportunity

if we both end back on the forums some time in the future and anything even slightly similar to your current challenges happen again, even if minor, talk to me. I can’t understand, etc if I don’t know what’s happening. I’m feeling very confused why wording of chats during and since the taper were on positive level thus leading to me having zero idea of the things you told me in your most recent post. I thought you were coping fairly ok (apart from the little bit you mentioned about your mum). I had no idea. ☹️

take care

I’m suspect I’ve also got RSD. Waiting to talk to my psychologist in couple weeks time. Know she can’t diagnosis. Know she can and will share her thoughts. From few things she said at last appointment I suspect she also has autism

feels like brain fog last couple days and lots of tears. @MissGremlin

I’m grabbing the cats and going to bed @MissGremlin

thank you c🤗🤗

@Flutterbug9 glad you have that appointment coming up soon sweet and it's good that she shares her thoughts on things with you.

Sending you my love and hugs sweetheart, hope it's a good night's rest for you ❤️

I see my psychologist each 2nd week @MissGremlin

I’ve only seen her about 5 or 6 times. Already feel there is something different about this one. Feel like I’m talking to a friend, not a MH specialist.

I have initial appointment with my psychiatrist in mid June. My psychologist has already offered to prepare and forward letter to my psychiatrist. I will be accepting the offer. Feelings so weird being offered this help etc.

no problems about not tagging in your posts, fully understand and much appreciate it. As much as one can try to be careful with wording etc, can always be a risk of trigger for someone else.

atm lots ro do with the forums has become too much for me and my nervous system. I’m putting myself first for a change and taking a complete break from the forums. When will I be back = I don’t know. Question currently is more so IF I’ll be back.

about a week ago I bought some flat pack drawer units to go into a small cube storage unit. Finally started them late this morning. 8:40pm and they are still not finished.
oh well, there is always tomorrow to try to put some semi organisation into my chaotic mess that has now got to point I can’t find things

night my friend. Wishing you and Casper lots of pleasant dreams and a day filled with sunshine tomorrow. 😴

@Flutterbug9 sounds like the psychologist is a right fit for you which is fantastic.

That's great that your psychologist has offered to write a letter to the new psychiatrist, hopefully it helps to give them as much information as possible prior to you meeting with them. It's definitely strange when you finally get that help if you haven't been able to get it before.

Yes as much as I try to be careful with wording, there's also no sugar-coating things that are going on at the moment. But it's not that I'm not tagging you cos I don't want to talk to you cos I genuinely enjoy chatting to you within the forums ☺️.

I'm glad you are looking out for yourself sweet and if a break or leaving the forums is what's needed then that's completely ok. Whatever your choice know that I'll always care and if you do come back you'll be welcome with open arms ❤️.

Hopefully you can finish the drawers tomorrow, can completely relate to not having organisation and being unable to find things, it drives me nuts 😂.

Night sweetheart, take care of your wonderful self. Lots of love and hugs coming your way ❤️

@Flutterbug9 Yeah I get you, RSD is really rough to deal with. We can work on skills to help slow down our reactions, find other potential narratives - but the initial sting can be painful. Finding ways to reassure ourselves that we are worthy and wanted does help, as does building up the capacity to internally validate that worth without having to rely on external sources.

I'm glad that you are vocal about how it makes you feel when you're not tagged. Sometimes that shame spiral can make it feel like speaking up about our feelings is 'annoying' or not worth the effort, so I commend you for asserting that it is important to you to feel included. I'll try to remember that 😊

PS - struggling with housework and those maintenance tasks (showering, for example) is pretty common for ND folk. It was explained to me as being due to things like sensory issues and difficulties with transitions and disruptions to routine and stuff like that. But also for NT people apparently they find it a lot easier because a) they get dopamine out of it and b) for them it's not something they need to consciously focus on. Like doing the dishes my internal narrative is something like 'Okay first boil kettle. Now I need my ipad (cos I can't do dishes without some sort of stimulation, so I watch netflix lol), and oh I gotta clear the sink, now the kettle is boiled, and add dish soap, okay put all the cutlery in, and we wash glassware first...'

Apparently for NT folks it's just, autopilot. They don't need to think through all the steps - they just do them. So if ever you feel like 'it shouldn't be so hard' remember that for us, it kinda is. And so smashing out your daily chores is definitely worth commendation, in my books! 😉