@Bow are you sure you didn't just pluck those thoughts about being told how "well" you are doing from my mind? 🤣 You hit the nail perfectly! Without wanting to say anything traumatic/triggering for people, lately when people say to me how I'm "doing well" to "function" (outwardly) and that I should keep doing what I am doing, I just outright inform/remind them that I am not prepared to keep going how things are. Regardless if they see me as "well enough" outwardly - doing what I have been doing is not an option for me any more. It's not sustainable. It's actually not healthy; it's the equivalent of masking life.
The ended up calling the service yesterday to ask more info about the residential option they suggested, but when talking to the person about how structured and the aims of the program we agreed it is not at all what I need - quite the opposite. I need burnout-friendly low-structure social support to get me through the next 2-3 months. She suggested that a private inpatient situation would be a better option if I wanted away-from-home support (i.e. not dependant/impacting upon my mother whom I live with). I did today though get the call from the suggested home-based peer support service they referred me to, and will have an intake assessment with them on Monday. They sound quite flexible. It is still only a short-term support, but if it can help me get through the next 2-3 months (especially the next 6-8 weeks) then I will welcome any face-to-face social support during that time.
I have found my region's (NGO) drop-in SI-prevention centre a good support the past 6 months, having been a few times. Only once did it find it not helpful - but the person was still well-meaning, just didn't really understand my situation/experience I think. The other 2 peer workers there I have spoken to have been really good. I went there yesterday because I was having strong persistant thoughts and I decided I didn't want to have to sit alone at home with that - it would be better to sit somewhere with other people around, even if they were busy with other people. I am grateful they would allow this; although they also were not too busy which meant someone was available to chat with me for a few hours. 😊 And my thoughts were able to be put out of my mind during/after that time. It felt nice to hear that sometimes they have people who need to come by every day during a difficult period, and that if I needed to that would also be OK. For logistical reasons that is a bit hard for me (its abit of a drive), but it is good to know that it is OK if I do need to come as often as I need, and that it's OK to come even though I know talking can't "fix" anything for me - it's just some respite or the ability to not sit physically alone in my thoughts.
I am so sorry that the psych did not set up another psych to transition you over to whilst they are on leave, and did not even discuss this with you. That is horrifying! I cannot imagine any excuse for that - having experience as both a patient but also having worked reception/secretary for psychology & psychiatry. Are they now putting you in with one of their other psychologists? or can your GP call around to find someone who can take you urgently?
A rotating pdoc would frustrate me too - having to explain the medication history etc each time, unless they actually read a note summary before the session (am I hoping for too much there??). I wonder if they are graduate-rotation placements and that may be why they change so often?? I'm not sure what is normal in medication-only pdoc, as I have only seen pdoc for longterm psychotherapy plus medication situations.
I am so glad you have a good GP. That is so important. 😊. No wonder she is so busy though 😅 the great ones often are because they are so important to chronic healthcare. Hmm can we please clone your GP?? 😋
Is there a way I can help support you also as a friend online during the upcoming months?
Noting it will also be a tough time for me with my medication withdraw, but I'd like to help where I have capacity - I just want to make sure I help in a way that helps you. 😊. I don't have a history of ED myself, although I did have very absent eating one year due to severe depression - but it was never diagnosed as an ED (either I never told my doctor, or perhaps because my thoughts regarding food was not affected, only my behaviours). But one of my best friends had an ED whilst we were in high school, so I guess I have very limited personal exposure to it. But lots of care and compassion to make up for that lack of personal lived experience in it. *big safe hug*
