Cuddlebears Space

@AlwaysMyself Hello lovely. How are things?

Thank you for holding hope and belief. I do want things to improve but I’m hustling in the same place each day. This really drives hope down.

My medication dose is still the same. I cannot cope any further decrease. I don’t have a support system and I’m getting through second by second as it is. I still see GP fortnightly but he just wants to push me to taper and has nothing in place to support that despite me begging for assistance. I did have a biopsy last week in a mole. Waiting for results.

My support worker comes weekly. I appreciate it but I have to be honest in saying that it’s not making a difficult and different when you are paying someone. They want to decrease their shifts to two days a week while maintaining same hours but I can’t do that. I need at least a third day otherwise I’m alone and it’s summer making it hard to get out. I feel like everyrhing is falling apart.

Im trying to reach out here but feel like I’m burdening everyone. Whilst there thousands of members the peer support falls on a few people who are also struggling.

@Chasingsunsets Hello friend how are you?

Yes gently is what I’m trying. I just wish things would improve. I’m getting through with no relief. No support system and feeling so defeated with it all.

Hi @Cuddlebear ,

Here for you.

sitting with you @Cuddlebear 😍

Just came by to send you some cuddles and a story and seen your response @Cuddlebear - i am behind in my emails and Wed was a hard day where i was trying to distract myself and keep occupied but didnt have laptop. So i didnt see it!

On the plus side - i came here deliberately between appointments because i think of you in my daily life, not just on forum. 🥰😊

Please do keep posting and reaching out for support here. Please do not feel a burdon. I love to chat with you too. And i love that lately when i need a distraction there is always posts for me to read & catch up on, so i am never without something to do on the forum - as long as i am mentally up for posting 🥰😊. If framing it as being the opposite of a burdon - but rather a relief from my own thinking and my own life struggles - helps you feel confident that it is good to post, then please do allow me to encourage you in that view 😊.

As for why i was thinking of you! A friend of mine is looking into a hearing support dog, and was speaking to a friend of theres who said their NDIS wont cover a vision guide dog, so they are unsure if NDIS will cover a hearing dog. Because of what I have learned from you I was able to let me friend know that sometimes the NDIS is an "either of, but not both" situation, and how you could get a guide dog but not some other extra supports for transportation.

My friend also thinks this is very unfortunate that you cannot get both a guide dog and additional transport aids for vision-impairment. As i say, "its not like you're allowed to train the guide dog to drive a (self-driving) Tesla!"

Then i remembered that in California they had self-driving Tesla taxis. So i guess Wilbur would be allowed to "drive" (escort) you in one of those lol! Cant believe i will say that maybe we need some California laws here for you to have a self-driving vehicle! Then the NDIS can pay for that since ypu physically cannot drive yourself i reckon that would be a lifechanging aid in a regional/rural area!

And thus i think of you in my daily life 🥰😊

@Cuddlebear

PLEASE please know you are not a burden.

you are a special person whom I thankful to have met.

please talk to me wherever you want to.

sometimes I might not know the best words to use to write back to you with. Please don’t let that stop you reaching out. I will always listen and write back, might take me few days sometimes to reply

(((hugs)))

@tyme How are you my friend? How is your weekend?

Thank you for being here. It’s been terribly hard each day. Everyone needs humans around and I’ve just really not got anyone unless they are paid ie a support worker. I’m safe. Just feeling like I’ll never get better and that I’m just existing.

Hey @Cuddlebear ,

That sounds so so hard. Just exisiting is a tough space to be in. I can totally relate. I'm been in a similar place and I didn't know what to do. I used to say that I was "Living to die". Each day was without purpose.

What do you find gives you purpose?

Also, please know we are here to support you. We are not there in person, but we are here for you.

@tyme How did you find a way out of feeling that way?

I honestly don’t have any purpose and no idea how to create it. 😞

When I was in PARC, I was assigned to a key worker who said something simple but profound "One day, you'll be sick of being sick...". That was my turning point. I learnt that recovery was not about not having symptoms, but that I'd learn to live with my condition... and so from there, I was more open to opportunities and growing from them.

But seriously, for years and years, I suffered with just having the exist. I hated it. @Cuddlebear