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Cuddlebears Space

Cuddlebears Space

Hello everyone I’ve made a space here.

I’ve been having a really rough time. I have experienced a lot of trauma and abuse since childhood. I’ve been on forums for a while now and thought to start a thread so that my journey and anyone that cares to see how I’m going and offer support or advice can find me here.

I have complex ptsd, anxiety and severe depression with anhedonia. I’m currently tapering antidepressant and it’s been brutal.

I am really struggling everyday and can’t find ways to feel better. I’ve tried so many things.

I am having daily panic attacks, my body shutdown and I am so lonely with very little support. There’s a real heavy darkness around me I feel so unloved and worthless. I can’t do basic things like shower, eat, clean and going out is very very hard. I have no purpose or meaning though I try to create it but nothing works.

More recently I’ve experienced passive SI and sometimes more active. The tapering I believe has caused these symptoms. I’m safe.

Im finding it hard to write this all up. I hope it gives you some insight. @MissGremlin @AlwaysMyself@Chasingsunsets

266 replies

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In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

@AuntGlow how are you? I’ve been unwell. Not doing good. The best part of recovery groups were the live zooms for me. I learned a lot from them. Are they back?

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

Hey @Cuddlebear 🫶 how’s your evening going? Good to see you ☺️. Sorry it’s taken me awhile to get back on. Weather here has been ok. This morning there was a bit of fog about. It’s kind of cool as it can look like a low cloud haha. Sounds like the groups are back on in the recovery club, that sounds good 😊

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

Hey @Cuddlebear

Sorry I have t been around much but I was working. I’m not back to work until Friday so I have a couple of days when I’ll be around!

How are you going? I have been thinking of you.

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

I am so sorry you have been feeling unwell @Cuddlebear 😔 How are you feeling this week? And have you had much support this week?

Yes! Recovery Club Groups are slowly being reintroduced. Would you like to re-engage with them? 💛

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

Next appointment to see my pain management dr booked for next week @Cuddlebear

appointment booked by myself to discuss possibly having nerve block in my back down soon.

tomorrow going out to look at assistance aids for walking ie walker with seat plus motorised scooter.

never thought impact of osteoarthritis in my spine would get to this degree.

only jumped onto the forums to post this brief update to you.

for variety of reasons, I’m very rarely on the forums anymore

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

@Flutterbug9 How are you? Have you had your appointment yet? How was investigating assistive equipment? I know it’s hard with these things having disabilities myself.

I have not been in forums simply due to how unwell I am. I’m sorry my for late reply.

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

@Cuddlebear I was going to go to a large firm to look at their stock. Changed my mind after speaking to a neighbour and am thankful for info they gave me. I spoke to a guy who is currently renting a shop in nearby shopping centre. Couple days time he is bringing couple of walkers plus couple scooters for me to do free in home trial and has suggested to drive the scooters around different areas where I live to look at ground clearance, ease of getting up and down from roads etc.

in about a week I will have my appointment. I’m currently using a walking stick all the time when not at home. My physio recently agreed with my thoughts about using 2 walking sticks or a walker. It’s a steep incline from car park to front door of hospital. Know I can do it using my walking stick, I’m hoping to have the walker by then, would make it easier.

i read where you have been accepted as in-patient to women’s mental health recovery centre. Sounds great and I hope they provide you all the support you are entitled to, to help with tapering.

My new psychiatrist has me taking 2 different meds for depression, one in the morning and other at night. Due to the one I now take at night I no longer need to take OTC med I was taking to help with sleep issues including insomnia. As discussed with my psychiatrist, I tried reducing the strength of the med I take in the morning, totally unsuccessful. Due to length of time I’ve been taking the higher dosage my body has become addicted to that dosage. Second night after decreasing the dose by half (only easiest option) I started having vivid nightmares that got worse each night, nightmares that I could easily remember in exact details for days after.

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

Hello friends after 8 weeks in a psychiatric ward and a mini stroke whilst there I was discharged yesterday. What a roller coaster. Adjusting to home has been very difficult. I’ve missed everyone. I was really just unable to engage on forums. My days are now booked out with so many medical appointments I need a admin person just to know what the heck I’m doing. It was a long, hard, brutal road. I met some amazing women while in the ward that was womens only. If in Victoria I can highly recommend WREN. I’m still very unwell but a little glimmer of hope is there. At least in this moment. Hoping not to spiral down let’s see how things go.

@Nala2022 @DownMoreThanUp@Emelia8 @Lapis_Anteater @Shaz51@Glisten @Shishy @dogs2@BipolarRich @Emelia8@Lapis_Anteater @Flutterbug9@Fluttershy1 @SmilingGecko @TAB@ENKELI @PeppyPatti @StuF@Meowmy @BipolarRich@SmilingGecko @Chasingsunsets@PeppyPatti @Rosepetal96@passepartout @MTD @plasm0@dc8wr8 @TAB @StuF @Meowmy@Appleblossom @StuF @Cuddlebear@Icaruslanded @Emelia8@bluecaterpiller @Vince1974 @GezzaP@Realness @heartathome @YETI-Bear@AlwaysMyself @Appleblossom@AuntGlow @avant-garde@Blackcloud @creative_writer @Jynx@proactive @MissGremlin @Meowmy@StuF @DownMoreThanUp@DogMan79 @RiverSeal @dc8wr8@MTD @hopeful_hannah @Taali@Lozenge @Moosebegoose@theirishaussiwe @Spitfire1@BlueOcean @theirishaussiwe @MDT@Flutterbug9 @AlwaysMyself @Taali @Appleblossom @TAB @Jynx @ENKELI @Bunnykins

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

My dear friend @Cuddlebear

I'm so pleased that you're back and I honestly hope you feel a bit more settled soon 😊

8 weeks is a long time so the adjustment is bound to be bumpy.

Go so very gently my darling 💕

Taali 💜

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

Really glad to "see" you @Cuddlebear and glad you are finally home. I missed your warm supportive presence in our community. I do hope step by step, you find a way through the maze of medical stuff. I'm very sorry about your mini stroke. Take good care of yourself, but try not put too much pressure on yourself. I do hope you have sufficient support at hiome.

It sounds inspiring that you met good women at WREN. You already know the forum has gone through changes, and seems a bit quieter these day, though new people are posting.

Sending hugs

Gently Bently

Apple

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