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Cuddlebears Space

Cuddlebears Space

Hello everyone I’ve made a space here.

I’ve been having a really rough time. I have experienced a lot of trauma and abuse since childhood. I’ve been on forums for a while now and thought to start a thread so that my journey and anyone that cares to see how I’m going and offer support or advice can find me here.

I have complex ptsd, anxiety and severe depression with anhedonia. I’m currently tapering antidepressant and it’s been brutal.

I am really struggling everyday and can’t find ways to feel better. I’ve tried so many things.

I am having daily panic attacks, my body shutdown and I am so lonely with very little support. There’s a real heavy darkness around me I feel so unloved and worthless. I can’t do basic things like shower, eat, clean and going out is very very hard. I have no purpose or meaning though I try to create it but nothing works.

More recently I’ve experienced passive SI and sometimes more active. The tapering I believe has caused these symptoms. I’m safe.

Im finding it hard to write this all up. I hope it gives you some insight. @MissGremlin @AlwaysMyself@Chasingsunsets

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In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

Hey @Cuddlebear and @Chasingsunsets

I hope today is being gentle on you both.

Just popping in to say I was thinking of you

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

@Captain24 How are you my friend? How has your day been? Sadly not a gentle day. Trying to decide whether I call a crisis service. I’m safe but really just hitting the rocks at the bottom.

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

I’m doing ok @Cuddlebear

Im sorry it has been so hard today. Maybe call the crisis service now before it gets even worse? Maybe earlier than later would be more beneficial?

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

@Captain24 I’m glad you’re doing ok. How have you found this week off work? Are you back next week?

Yeah my main issue is that my past experiences with Lifeline etc. have not always been good and left me feeling worse. So trying to decide if the risk of reaching out is worth it.

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

This week has been good not having to worry about work. I have pushed myself to far at times and crashed but I’ve been reasonably gentle for the last 2 days and it’s helped. I have a training day on Tuesday and go back Wednesday. @Cuddlebear

I usually use SCBS and haven’t had any issues with them. I have found them really helpful.

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

I'm sorry to hear that you've had those experiences @Cuddlebear.

Who you speak with may change your experience, so if you ever do feel ready, it could be worth trying again. You may also consider Suicide Callback Service - 1300 659 467 if you're looking for another 24/7 crisis counselling support option. They also offer Webchat.

~ @Honeymoon

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

@Captain24 Good morning my friend. How are you? You have done a lot this week. I’ve been proud if your achievements especially in looking after yourself and getting chores done and attending your appointments. I like how you’ve sat in the sun in the grass and done diamond art too. Plus had time with fur babies. What is in for you today?

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

@Honeymoon Hello how are you? Thank you for the information. You’re probably not in shift now. But I wanted to say thank you for being there.

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

Hey @Cuddlebear. Thank you for acknowledging my achievements. I am pretty proud of myself which I don’t usually say.

I walked my dogs this morning sat in the sun and I’ve whipper snippered and mowed my back yard. That’s no mean feet it’s a big back yard. Now I’m goi g to clean the back

porch and head to the shops for 20 minutes. I should hopefully have everything done e by 3. Then I’ll consider if I weed my garden out the front. Less to do tomorrow!

Ive loved being able to find the right grounding and self care time for myself. It has helped so much. Plus doing it in the morning sets me up for the day!

How are you going? Is there any self care/ grounding activities you like?

Anything on for the day?

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

Hey @Cuddlebear

I thought I’d check in and see how you are going?

I haven’t been around as I worked the last 2 days and then tomorrow night I start three nightshifts.

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