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Cuddlebears Space

Cuddlebears Space

Hello everyone I’ve made a space here.

I’ve been having a really rough time. I have experienced a lot of trauma and abuse since childhood. I’ve been on forums for a while now and thought to start a thread so that my journey and anyone that cares to see how I’m going and offer support or advice can find me here.

I have complex ptsd, anxiety and severe depression with anhedonia. I’m currently tapering antidepressant and it’s been brutal.

I am really struggling everyday and can’t find ways to feel better. I’ve tried so many things.

I am having daily panic attacks, my body shutdown and I am so lonely with very little support. There’s a real heavy darkness around me I feel so unloved and worthless. I can’t do basic things like shower, eat, clean and going out is very very hard. I have no purpose or meaning though I try to create it but nothing works.

More recently I’ve experienced passive SI and sometimes more active. The tapering I believe has caused these symptoms. I’m safe.

Im finding it hard to write this all up. I hope it gives you some insight. @MissGremlin @AlwaysMyself@Chasingsunsets

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In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

So much for not doing anything! I now have to go and pick up my new glasses. That scares me as they are multiracial and apparently hard to get use to! That happens as you get old though. @Cuddlebear.

I only have 2 little garden beds to weed and I fill them full of water first so it’s easier to get the weeds out!

Yhe weather has been really unusual here. Normally at this time of year it gets down to minus 7’s and stuff. The lowest we’ve had is minus 2. The days don’t usually reach double digits but today is the coldest and it’s 14. The blossoms are blooming and the flys are coming back.

They are great companions. One of mine just has to know where I am and she will go off and do her own thing. The other has to be near me 90% of the time or at least looking at me. If I sit in the lounge though both come running!

Showering is so so so hard. There is a lot involved in it. The having to get undressed, actually getting in, deciding whether to wash you hair or not. Then trying to get out and having to dry yourself and work out what to put in. It’s not the easy task that people seem to think it is! I’m trying really hard with it and it’s not easy.

It’s a surprise for MissGremlin so I haven’t said. I should finish it tonight or tomorrow so I will post it then! She kept me in the dark about one of hers cause she knew I would love it so I’m being mean and doing the same.

We often sit together and do it. We just talk random stuff while doing it. Not serious stuff. Just our chill time together.

Is there a guide dog group near you that maybe you could go to to meet others? I know that’s really hard to get out though.

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

Hello @Cuddlebear 😊, how’s your day going? I am glad your fur baby and finding connection on the forum is providing some relief for you. I wonder if there were any hobbies you were thinking about? Sometimes I wonder if I get started with one would this help my mood 😊. Phone range is patchy I’ll try make it on when I can take care cuddlebear.

ps that beautiful sunset is @Captain24s how good is it 🌅

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

hi there @Captain24, I did it’s a really lovely shot! So much warmth in it. Oh that will be a lovely Christmas present!

The custom Dimond art you have done turned out really good 🤩 again awesome job !

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

I have a few of them but that’s my favourite @Chasingsunsets How was your day.

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

It definitely is a really nice shot ☀️ @Captain24, phone range is really patchy at the moment so will have to try coming on a bit later I think. I hope you’re day has been ok 🌻

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

Ok.. phone service is a bit rough now and then. @Chasingsunsets. my day has been to bad at all actually.

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

@Captain24 Hello my friend. How are you? I’m glad you do the diamond art with @MissGremlin & thwt you surprise one another. I want you to both have those times you can do that. No theres no guide dog groups nearby. There isn’t that sort of thing for us. The social stuff is really lacking. What are you upto today? Is it a chill out day for you?

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

I’m feeling ok so far today. Trying to get use to my glasses and not succeeding very well! I got up this morning and fed the dogs. It was really cold and they were cold so I thought I’d lay in bed with them for a few minutes to warm them up until the air con had started to warm up the house. 2 hours later I woke up! I’m well rested! 😂 @Cuddlebear

Just a chill day. I’ve just been sitting in the sun talking to mum for an hour. I was going to do the yard work but I don’t want to. I’ll see what happens this afternoon. I’m about to start diamond art.

That’s a shame. I thought there would be more around for you. Here there isn’t anything but we really only have about 10000 people here.

What are your plans for the day? Anything we can do together like sit in the sun and have a drink?

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

@Captain24 I’m so glad you get a bit of extra sleep in the warmth with fur babies. It’s cold here and been raining. I have another hospital appointment. I have appointments a lot as I have chrinic health conditions in top of mental illness. I’m glad that you can do art side by side and chat. It’s something I’d like to be able to do. I can’t seem to get there though. I have appointments a coffee & im in my room. I sit in here all day. I’m trying to calm myself from anxiety. I’ve had panic attacks today again. My only friend in real world is very unwell with MI too. They’re in another State. I’m worried about them too.

In response to: Cuddlebears Space

Re: Cuddlebears Space

We don’t have any rain in the foreseeable future. Everything is still pretty green though. We will need follow up soon to keep it green and the farm animals fed. @Cuddlebear

Sorry you have chronic health conditions as well. That must take so much more out of you. Especially all the appointments but at least they get you out of the house.

Im sorry that they are struggling to and you can’t be physically there for them. Like they can’t be for you.

Is there anything you can do for the panic attacks? I’ve only had a couple so I don’t know what it’s like to suffer them constantly.

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