Cuddlebears Space

They do like to snuggle especially Jett, the black one. They both get on my bed at night. Jett always stays and has to be touching me. Pix sometimes gets off if she gets too hot or I move too much. Jett always has to be near me. If he could he would be held at all times! They live their toys and have piles of them! Way way more than they need and they just randomly play with different ones. They are pretty good mates but can definitely fight! They get babysat while I’m at work as I’m out of the house for 14 hours (travel time) and they absolutely love their nanny and poppy too. They are very happy little ones and spoilt rotten. We are going on holidays in October and they are coming to and so is mums dog! @Cuddlebear 

@Captain24 I love how @MissGremlin and you do the diamond art. Feel free to share if you want to. I hear you are not feeling well from your post. Only if you want do you want to talk about it? No pressure. Cold stuff when not feeling good can really help. Does something to the brain that helps reset nervous system a bit. Can bring some relief. It’s good you have a routine that does help. I have a routine bht not a very good one. Wish I could work cause that would help a lot. Becore I loved cooking, gardening, volunteering at nearby wetlands, reading, music and stuff like craft and movies. Loved going out with my guide dog exploring together. I wrote poetry and enjoyed some friends company too doing stuff together. Love nature and going to beach and swimming with guide dog.

I’m hoping it’s not too cold. This morning was -2 when mum went to go. I’m hoping it’s a little warmer tomorrow morning. @Chasingsunsets

I want to surprise @missgremlin with it so I won’t say but I love it! I do lots of them. I’m actually placing an order soon for custom ones and one of them will be of a sunset I’ve taken! I probably won’t get to it until next year but I thought of you!

It’s all good. I have tried really hard today but just have dark thoughts that I have actually managed to push to the side for now which is good, it’s like a dark cloud hanging over me but not swallowing me. Sorry I do lots of analogies with my psych! I do have some urges and they are still there but at least with all this distraction I am safe.

Ok.. I have an idea. I get the agoraphobia as I was developing it… but if you use to love cooking could you invite a friend over and cook lunch or something for them. If that’s to much what about morning tea with a coffee or a slice or something? Something little that I understand is really hard. But if you make the commitment to the friend you have to follow through. While you may not enjoy it it could be something to try.

I love the beach and so does Pix but it’s 4 hours away!

Are you able to leave the house to go into the back yard?

Here is some of the diamond art I’ve done. @Cuddlebear

@Captain24 I like analogies. I get things better & use them myself. I can empathise with the feelings you are having. I’m glad the dark cloud today doesn’t feel like it’s swallowing you up. It doesn’t mean it’s easy to sit with it just means you can connect here where people understand & it is safe. For me the only way is to distract myself here, dissociate & pay a lot of attention to my guide dog. Today if you looked at me you’d think I was perfectly calm. But inside it’s a tsunami going on. It’s really helped being on here with you & a few others have dropped in too. With the agoraphobia it’s a good idea. I just don’t have anyone to invite. I have a tiny yard & sometimes I muster the ability to sit there for 5 minutes. I live in a small flat so place doesn’t have room.

@Captain24 Just waiting for moderators to approve. I love art. When I’m well I go to art exhibitions and people describe to me the art. It’s fun even if I can’t see it well I can use my imagination from the description. With art online I use accessibility software thwt describes it through my hearing aids. Technology has helped a bit with disabilities.

I love analogies. I wrote a whole email to my psych describing what we are calling cyclone Tracy. Eg my life! It was all analogies and what she wrote back was the same. No one would have understood our emails but it made perfect sense to us. She also has ADHD though! @Cuddlebear

I get the outside verses the inside. Work is my thing. I actually had the police called on me one night as I missed an email because I was asleep (I get up at 4:30 to get ready for work!) They arrived at around 10 that night. I had to try a reassure them that I was safe because I had to go to work. They eventually left. I was that bad that night that they felt I need ES. I got on the next morning and went to work like nothing happened and nothing was wrong. I was deeply suicidal but covered it really well and no one k ew the difference!

Oh.. ok. I get that. So you don’t have anyone close by? What if you just baked something for your self? Something just to distract you and you can show me what you have baked? It may not sound like something you can do but I’ve been able to make myself do stuff with self talk. Not that while you are worthy bull shit! 😂 I try and tell myself that it’s only x amount of time and that I can do it and once it’s done it’s done. Not always working though!!!

Shame about the backyard. I thought it would be a way of trying to leave the indoors. Plus some fresh air.

Hello lovely human, here to listen and to hold space for all that you are experiencing today. 🥰 @Cuddlebear

Hey @AuntGlow can you please approve my pictures