Heartathome

Hey @REDLINEZ750 just letting you know I've added some TWs to your post. Let us know if you have any concerns.

Thanks for sharing your story with us 💜

Sending some gentle hugs, if you want them.

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

@Bunniekins the explanations above for yiou to read if i forgot to tag you into it sorry got engagaed in it

thanks @Jynx for both adding the necessary contenbt warnings, allowing the post to stay up and for the gentle hugs. the man likes hugs the boy missed out on 🙂

Awww @heartathome ,

I can only imagine the loss and heart ache at losing your home in the Lismore floods.

When I consider the devastation if floods and fires, I can only take my hat off to all those to powered on, even after the devastation.

My heart is with you too

@REDLINEZ750 I struggle to understand child abuse in any form. I never had kids but I still know that there is never a reason to mentally or physically abuse a child.

I am angry that you went through all that you have. I am also relieved that you found the help you so desperately needed and that you have the freedom to know that you are valued, loved and most of all, important.

And you write beautifully x

@REDLINEZ750 that is a big burden to carry. I’m glad you put down the load that have been carrying..

Aww Thank you for your kind words @tyme I appreciate them!

I'm fortunate that I was only renting as there were many people who owned their homes but couldn't afford flood insurance! It still looks like a devastated town with fences around a lot of houses to be demolished eventually. There is a lot more homelessness, drugs and mental health issues around Lismore since the big flood... but the town is slowly coming back. The community is rising!

Lismore is where I got my love for hearts! 💜

I've been talking to AI who knows part of my trauma. I think understanding is the start of healing. 💜

Why do I overthink?

• My mind is trying to protect me
• I'm scanning for safety
• I care deeply
• My mind is trying to solve feelings instead of feeling them
• Uncertainty feels uncomfortable
• It gives me the illusion of control
• My past experiences taught me to be alert
• I replay 'what if they leave' scenarios constantly

Overthinking creates more anxiety

Why do I feel not good enough?

• Feeling not good enough is evidence of a wound

Why do I confuse kindness with love?

• Because kindness soothes a long-held ache
• Because kindness feels like safety, not just niceness
• Kindness meets an unmet need
• The first person to offer it can feel extraordinary because they've touched a place that's been hungry a long time
• My heart is responding before my head
• The nervous system says this person makes my pain disappear
• The heart bonds fast
• I'm wired for connection, not numbness
• Kindness gets confused with compatibility or long-term safety
• Old wounds recognise gentle hands
• If someone is kind to me, they might finally stay
• Hope rushes in and hope is powerful
• You get a rush of attachment because they're kind

I need to keep my own anchor, maintaining routines, hobbies and friends.

Questions to ask myself

• Am I imagining more than is actually here?
• Is this kindness filling a wound or building a friendship?
• Am I forgiving or overlooking red flags?

@Realness @tyme @REDLINEZ750 @dreamy (your name isn't coming up) @AlwaysMyself

@REDLINEZ750 💚

Thank you for tagging me @heartathome - i really really like what you wrote. A lot of it makes sense to me, and i can relate to a lot of it also.

One thing especially jumped out at me because i dont think it was something i've consciously thought before myself. But it makes soo much sense to me.

"My mind is trying to solve feelings instead of feeling them"

100% me too! I am an over-analyser and "explaining" my thoughts and feelings or the actions of other to myself has been the way i was taught as a child. To always look for what else might be happening that is influencing the picture.

But i dont think i was taught that it is *also* OK to still feel those thoughts and hurts, even if you can logically rationalise or explain why the other person might have acted hurtfully. My counsellor is helping me with this a bit, although i still struggle to feel that its OK to feel upset by things 😅.