Heartathome

@heartathome hey heartathome can read properly now but will come back to it shortly. love you and @REDLINEZ750 of course 😄 xx

Thanks @Bunniekins Love you too! 💜 

This is a heart in Lismore during a flood in 2017. They call Lismore, Lovemore. It was my home for 32 years. I think its okay to show this heart now because I don't live there anymore, being transferred as my home was wiped out.during the 2022 floods. I love a heart❣️

@Bunniekins @tyme @Realness @MissGremlin @REDLINEZ750

I just asked AI about love being a want or need. They said at a human level, love and connection are needs. Of course, romantic love is a want.

our first love should be God (who we should worship) and then secondly love for and from our human companions. I agree! There's a few should's in there @Realness . I know what I should do but am not doing it at the moment. I'm not reading my Bible or praying apart from asking God for daily 'help'! I haven't walked away from God!

what happens in abuse is obviously different to what God had in mind. Totally!

Grooming behaviour selfishly worships a person. It creates confusion that worship is love in the victim. The victim longs for that level of attention again. Perhaps the victim loses the ability to recognise real love. I am astounded at your understanding of this! It makes perfect sense! It's like chasing that first high (drugs) where it's never achievable. I never thought of my perpetrator as worshipping me, but I think you're right that the grooming was a form of worship!

I'm not looking for another husband, Realness!! I want cuddles more than anything else. Sometimes I would like to be held by someone that I trusted. Just about impossible task when I don't trust myself.

He has both of us securely in His grasp and He will never let go. That is so encouraging. Thank you! Jesus has walked with me throughout my life, even when I make bad choices!

Thanks for hanging in there with me! 🙂💜

Looking to God... ❤️

Here's a positive one about God for you @Realness 💜

CREATION

Here I am, living my life

I hardly give it thought

I can't begin to understand

Though your wisdom can be taught

The more I know, the more I sit

In wonder and in awe

Your knowledge, we just can't contain

Of that I'm really sure

Creation is a complex gift

Science fits somehow

A newborn child, Your work of art

You're still creating now

We're born again and changing still

Guided by Your hand

You work in spite of forces that

Want destroyed all that You've planned

It baffles me, how You work

It's so entwined with skill

There are no words that can describe

Creation by Your will

A single cell tells of Your knowledge

In nature, Your beauty shows

Creation is Your awesome love

Your power seen as Jesus rose

How inadequate my words are

You're so complex, yet simple too

To describe the living God

Is not something I can do

The more I learn of God

The more I clearly see

How little of Him I really know

The great I AM, He is to me!

September 1996

Hi @heartathome ,

I think that God is happy with you despite you not reading your Bible regularly or being disciplined in prayer.

We're all so weak and incomplete in our devotion to God. It is almost inevitable, for most of us anyway, that what we're good at or enjoy doing most is how we show our devotion to God.

What am I trying to say?
The way you meet people almost every day is service to God. The way you connect with people on the Forums is service to God. The level of sharing on the heartathome thread is service to God. It's what you love and do best and so it is how you use your time. Extending God's love to other people is just as, if not more, important than reading the Bible.

I'm a book worm and so it follows that reading the Bible comes naturally. Ever since I discovered it when I was eighteen I have longed to read it regularly (usually daily). I'm sure God is okay with this phase of life which is not as people rich as previous chapters of my life. I also struggle with being disciplined in prayer.

Each of us, in our own way, is doing our best. God knows that.

@heartathome @REDLINEZ750 in all honesty i am a heathen when it comes to poetry. i love how this is written and i understand the pain in the words but my brain also does not compute the whole of the poem. i need someone to explain it to me please. i need that to fully appreciate the words. bun xxx

Hello beautiful @Bunniekins

I'll send @REDLINEZ750 a message telepathically 😂 💜

when i came to australia i was 14.

only person i knew here was my biological father i only for 9 days.

TW Violence, child abuse

my mum sent me here to stop the government making me statec ward claiming i was uncontrollable kid coz of truancy but scghool was boring and sitting still was like pushing shit uphill with a pitchfork.

i was working on building sites before i was 15 i had no identity in australia as last name changed for passport i was a scrawny 14yr old never knew what family was till after a plane flight what i had known and only known was gone.

no internet.

i got teased and struggled at work as next youngest to me was 4yrs older and could lift i couldnt even throw a shot put at school in NZ.

as a boy i grew up knowing love although with poverty i was loved mum grandparents siblings.

on the plane i learnt hatred before even smelling humid sydney air as it had been raining on an august day when landed that night.

TW Violence, child abuse

i built a mental contrast to protect the boy while the boy is still beautiful kind and caring.

locked away from sight the boy became hatred contained by domination for about 6years till he could lift as much if not more than others and carry it further soon fear of domination was forgotten after i learnt i could hurt adults now and so the next 30yrs was spent as the 14yr old man, protecting himself, showing no weakness and hiding the fact he could make words flow as he had been told girls write poems and so the contrast held untill in therapy after many hours i learnt to feel safe space and in therapy my psychologist found the boy.

she left the light thatr became the threshold where all mty stored word flow i kept safe with the boy formed and for few weeks the boy wrote using the mans hand then short story safe space was taken threshold closed but some of the boys story got told.

THRESHOLD is the beginning of the story and the end, the flow in between that tells the story can be quite graphic.

especially the next one which was once posted on avante gardes page called STRUGGLES if i remember right @Glisten or @ENKELI saw it i remember i think it was raw and they were sorry what i went through and were so sweet they asked if i got the bike and that touched me they understood it not just read it

AWAKENING is pretty tame

theres several written before threshold closed