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My life with depression and anxiety

My life with depression and anxiety

Hello Everyone,

I'm Dahlia. I feel like telling my story - of at least part of it - to anyone who feels like listening. Perhaps some of you wonderful people can relate.

I have struggled with metal health symptoms as far back as 8 years of age, perhaps even before that. My main problem is moderate to severe anxiety, I can also have panic attacks and a tendency towards depression. I do not really know why. I was depressed on and off even as a young child. I had very dark thoughts and my parents did not know what to do. I don't think child psychologists were a thing back then.

I was afraid of the dark, had tantrums, nightmares and was incredibly shy.

In my mid-thirties I had a complete breakdown and thought I was going crazy. I lost a lot of weight, couldn't sleep and had constant racing thoughts. I saw a GP who referred me to a psychiatrist who prescribed a lot of different medications. It was a six week wait to see a psychiatrist as an outpatient and during that time I suffered immensely with daily panic attacks.

Eventually the tablets seemed to help me, and I felt calmer and was able to gradually begin to get on with my life. The psychiatrist said I had major depression but did not feel the need for any further diagnosis. I fought my way back from depression and eventually stopped taking the medication. The psychiatrist did not know the cause of my depression but felt it could have had a genetic component.

I still lacked self-esteem and found it difficult to express my emotions. I often keep things bottled up and focus more on others than myself. I don't have negative feelings about myself or any self-destructive behaviours, although I am shy and introverted and like being alone. For the most part, I do feel some-what positive about my life and grateful that I have recovered from depression. It was 20 years ago that I had that breakdown.

During the past 20 years, I sought counselling a few times for severe anxiety related to events in my life - for example, when each of my parents passed away after long illnesses. The counselling did not solve my problems but at least it was an outlet. Other things I sort counselling for were work-related stress and the end of an important friendship.

Prior to having any kind of counselling, I don't think I ever felt listened to - by anyone in my life. People give you some of their politeness but rarely have time for you - that it how I have always felt. I think that sometimes even now, my closest friends are not exactly interested in me as a person. I tend to be the one doing all the listening. I would like to be able to change this around, but I don't expect my friends to be able to give me the same level of understanding as a professional counsellor can. That is too much to ask.

The other thing is that I was diagnosed with autism at about 50 years of age. This was a relief and helped me to understand myself better. I always thought that I was different but now I have a reason for that difference. Anyway, autism is a misunderstood condition that manifests in different ways in different people. Probably for me - I just find life very confusing and have to spend heaps of time and effort working out stuff that just comes naturally to others. That could have contributed to my childhood depression - but I'm not sure if the two conditions are related or not.

Lately I have decided to go back into counselling or therapy with a view to reducing my anxiety. It seems to be a long wait to get in anywhere. I think I would also like to go back to see a psychiatrist for an assessment to see if I have anything else that needs treatment, I presume the waiting times are very long these days. I don't know.

I see that I have written all this in a very matter-of-fact way. Believe me, even though it doesn't sound like it from the way I write, I am a very emotional person and spend a bit of time crying in private and quite a lot of time otherwise trying to manage and control my emotions!

Thanks for reading my story.

103 replies

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In response to: My life with depression and anxiety

Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Hi @DahliaDreams.

this morning was good. I woke up and didn’t feel complete dread. I think it’s because I had some plans today. I also had a great personal inner child chat last night. Silly it may sound, but part of my healing is forgiving my past and understanding that I am safe now. That how I see threats are learned from years of survival mode. Friends can only help with the training and understanding they know. So instead of ‘push’, maybe ‘encourage yourself’? I’m going for a simple walk as I find that helps. I’m not going to push myself but allow myself to know that in order for me to grow, I need to overcome/regulate the moments that nerve me. Everyone is different. I’m glad to read that your stress levels had decreased, even for a little.

In response to: Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Thanks @Peck ,

I'm glad your morning is looking up. Going for a walk - yes, I love to do that too. I have not talked to my inner child for a long time. It's a brave thing to do, I think. My inner child might feel a little ignored these days.

I have been up since 6am, and I've done what I can around the house for now. There is always something to do though. I have done some deep breathing and I'm waiting for a call-back from one of those online doctors, I feel like I want to discuss my anxiety with someone objective, but I don't want the stress of sitting in my GP's waiting room. Sitting in a waiting room can just make me more anxious.

In response to: Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Hi @DahliaDreams

youre absolutely right. Having a conversation with a professional can be quite reassuring. I’m dealing with being able to simple be comfortable’being’ and not worrying about what I have to do. I’ve been quite work focused for my life and learned that my identity was built on my work role, and not me alone. One day at a time.

In response to: Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Re: My life with depression and anxiety

@Peck

I'm interested in what you say about work and it being important to your identity. We have a culture in Australia where everyone always says 'And what do you do?' like its going to provide the key to understanding the person. But it really doesn't. Not in my case anyway. I never felt my former career was a good fit for me - I was glad to ditch it. Now I just do some basic labour as work and its less stressful.

I think its a good idea to examine our identities sometimes, without getting to attached to what it all means.

In response to: Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Know how you feel @DahliaDreams

I cancelled 2 chrissie events last weekend. It was the right thing to do. For safety on the road. Had mini texts with 2 people who I missed seeing. All good. There is a time and a place....

Only you can tell when your cup is over flowing or your spoons are too low... lol

@Peck @Jynx @Lapis_Anteater @REDLINEZ750

In response to: My life with depression and anxiety

Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Hey @DahliaDreams

Sorry I struggle to get on much lately with time schedules and new surroundings so please never take anything negative if I miss a post or fail to respond in relative times ..

I think it's great to have a partner that understands and supports you

As for your friend maybe their intentions are just not in line with where your at and may mean well but if they keep persisting after you have spoken as much as your comfortable too then respect your boundaries it's allowed and some people have to be told where they are or removed from contact if they keep putting what they think we need instead of listening to what we know we need.

Podcasts I found have been a good alternative to reading.

I used to also get engrossed in books I have read the whole sword of Truth series by ... Wow I forgotten temporarily but also the wheel of time by I think Jordan patterson started and his cowriter finished 2vyrars after he passed but the ending of that series was written before the beginning and took over 13 years to complete.

I maybe wrong but the truth if I am will be close I'm thinking the sword of Truth was by a Michael Jordan I could Google it, I should know it this is first time I'm in able to recall if I go Google it now though I get side tracked and risk forgetting to respond ..

I have not read other posts above so I apologize if I'm missing some memos I just wanted to say hi, I'm happy you are communicating still I see in your post appleblossom has been talking to you she is wonderful as you most likely know and very knowledgeable.

Heartathome all of them are beautiful....

Must go podcasts are very interesting I like Jordan patterson on you tube before he got sick....

Must go teachers arrived

Hope your well

In response to: Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Re: My life with depression and anxiety

@REDLINEZ750 ,

thanks for writing and encouraging me. The more people write here that more I feel like sharing, I guess that's natural. I'm glad you enjoy books like I once did - and like I hope to again one day. It's very relaxing just losing yourself in a book for a few hours or even days.

I don't know what my favourite books are except I love biographies, especially those written by or about musicians. I like to read about how creative people think. I read a detailed biography about Janis Joplin a few years back which was very moving - it seems she suffered depression and anxiety among other stuff. That book really got me thinking.

About my friend - yeah, she can be a bit insensitive when it comes to that kind of thing, as in, telling me what I should do. Anyway I did go out today as I managed to get a script form an online Dr. and then I had to get it filled, so had to leave the house. I ran into 2 different people I know so had to talk to them briefly which wasn't ideal, because I would rather have gone straight home. One of them knows all about my anxiety so I didn't need to pretend with her, which was good.

When are they releasing you and how are you feeling today? You sound pretty good - I hope you are good.

In response to: Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Re: My life with depression and anxiety

@Appleblossom

I'm glad to hear that you honoured yourself by cancelling some social events. It's a freeing kind of feeling to put yourself first and you were able to do that.

I'm not a very Christmassy person and usually don't love big events anyway, I never know what to say to people, I always feel out of place.

It's usually okay if I am with my partner or a close friend but I tend to cling to them, and they might think it's weird how much support I seem to need.

But anyways, if I do feel up to going out then I will take the plunge.

In response to: Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Hello @REDLINEZ750 @Appleblossom @Peck @Jynx @Lapis_Anteater,

How is everyone doing today? I'm keeping cool under the air-con. A strange day for me since it's the first day in months that I have had the house to myself. We had a visitor staying with us for a very looooong time. I got so overwhelmed that I would hide in the bedroom and not come out. A bit like a prisoner in a cell I suppose - but a prisoner of my own emotions and inability to cope.

Yesterday I saw an online doctor and got a script for some sedative type pills just to take the edge off things. Well, I took a pill first thing in the morning. My mood has been okay since then. I fell asleep after lunch and thought I'd slept 2 and a half hours, but I double checked and I only slept half an hour or there abouts. That was a strange time-lapse.

I was able to get some jobs done around the house and the anxiety is more or less at bay, I think. The online doctor wrote me a referral to see a psychiatrist which I would like to do but I don't know where I will find one in my region, and if I do find one I would probably have to wait 6 months for an appointment anyway. Somehow, I think my best option for me is a GP, if I just do all my own research and come prepared to explain my situation - if that makes sense, I don't know.

Perhaps all this will just blow over on it's own. The anxiety may retreat back into its cave.

In response to: My life with depression and anxiety

Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Hey @DahliaDreams

That’s completely understandable. Although there are similarities between autistic people, we are all still so diverse. I hope you find a community that welcomes you. The expanded creativity and hyperfocus are good benefits.

I think being determined is probably more useful than being strong in the end. Eight years of suffering is a very long time. People really do judge what they can see. If they only see you masking it is very difficult to get them to believe you’re not okay. It really does hurt a lot, especially when it’s the professionals that are meant to be helping you.

I think I like being autistic. Don’t get me wrong there are bit that I would like to get rid of if I could (like the extreme sensitivity to noise and sound). But my oldest brother is probably also autistic, and we realty get each other because of it, so I feel lucky.

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