FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

My life with depression and anxiety

My life with depression and anxiety

Hello Everyone,

I'm Dahlia. I feel like telling my story - of at least part of it - to anyone who feels like listening. Perhaps some of you wonderful people can relate.

I have struggled with metal health symptoms as far back as 8 years of age, perhaps even before that. My main problem is moderate to severe anxiety, I can also have panic attacks and a tendency towards depression. I do not really know why. I was depressed on and off even as a young child. I had very dark thoughts and my parents did not know what to do. I don't think child psychologists were a thing back then.

I was afraid of the dark, had tantrums, nightmares and was incredibly shy.

In my mid-thirties I had a complete breakdown and thought I was going crazy. I lost a lot of weight, couldn't sleep and had constant racing thoughts. I saw a GP who referred me to a psychiatrist who prescribed a lot of different medications. It was a six week wait to see a psychiatrist as an outpatient and during that time I suffered immensely with daily panic attacks.

Eventually the tablets seemed to help me, and I felt calmer and was able to gradually begin to get on with my life. The psychiatrist said I had major depression but did not feel the need for any further diagnosis. I fought my way back from depression and eventually stopped taking the medication. The psychiatrist did not know the cause of my depression but felt it could have had a genetic component.

I still lacked self-esteem and found it difficult to express my emotions. I often keep things bottled up and focus more on others than myself. I don't have negative feelings about myself or any self-destructive behaviours, although I am shy and introverted and like being alone. For the most part, I do feel some-what positive about my life and grateful that I have recovered from depression. It was 20 years ago that I had that breakdown.

During the past 20 years, I sought counselling a few times for severe anxiety related to events in my life - for example, when each of my parents passed away after long illnesses. The counselling did not solve my problems but at least it was an outlet. Other things I sort counselling for were work-related stress and the end of an important friendship.

Prior to having any kind of counselling, I don't think I ever felt listened to - by anyone in my life. People give you some of their politeness but rarely have time for you - that it how I have always felt. I think that sometimes even now, my closest friends are not exactly interested in me as a person. I tend to be the one doing all the listening. I would like to be able to change this around, but I don't expect my friends to be able to give me the same level of understanding as a professional counsellor can. That is too much to ask.

The other thing is that I was diagnosed with autism at about 50 years of age. This was a relief and helped me to understand myself better. I always thought that I was different but now I have a reason for that difference. Anyway, autism is a misunderstood condition that manifests in different ways in different people. Probably for me - I just find life very confusing and have to spend heaps of time and effort working out stuff that just comes naturally to others. That could have contributed to my childhood depression - but I'm not sure if the two conditions are related or not.

Lately I have decided to go back into counselling or therapy with a view to reducing my anxiety. It seems to be a long wait to get in anywhere. I think I would also like to go back to see a psychiatrist for an assessment to see if I have anything else that needs treatment, I presume the waiting times are very long these days. I don't know.

I see that I have written all this in a very matter-of-fact way. Believe me, even though it doesn't sound like it from the way I write, I am a very emotional person and spend a bit of time crying in private and quite a lot of time otherwise trying to manage and control my emotions!

Thanks for reading my story.

103 replies

1 - 10 of 103
12...11

In response to: My life with depression and anxiety

Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Please know you are not alone @DahliaDreams please feel free to find my posts and learn I don't say that matter of factly myself..

There are beautiful people on this platform that are accepting, understanding caring and non judgemental ..

Believe me I tried to fast forward the abandonment I predicted coming once I felt I was seen and now believe I belong to a forum family that's been supportive and I hope you find the same.

If ever want to chat vent or communicate about your day please feel free the way to join in or get someone notified of your post is to put @ at start of their name if it turns blue they will be notified example @REDLINEZ750

Or @moderators will help guide you if not sure

.

Welcome Dahliadreams

In response to: Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Thank you @REDLINEZ750,

for listening to my life-story. I will try to find your posts and read about what is going on for you too.

I had a tiring but good day yesterday but when I sit down at the end of the day, the anxiety returns.

I put it down to a life-time of stressful events, I guess. I try to think of times in life when I wasn't stressed, but they seem few and far between. I feel like I am always under some kind of pressure from someone. The alternative would be to lead a life in total isolation but that doesn't appeal either.

At the moment I'm glad that at least I have no house guests until Christmas. At least I can go to bed early for a while.

In response to: My life with depression and anxiety

Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Hey @DahliaDreams

Thank you for sharing your story. I too struggle with my mental health from childhood. It’s really tough. I found that for a long time I didn’t know what it meant to be well. It’s amazing that you were able to pull yourself out of depression. You must be really strong. Late diagnosed autism is often associated with anxiety and depression unfortunately. It’s great that you have found that diagnosis to be of use to you. I remember getting my autism diagnosis. It finally felt like I had an explanation for myself and the way I am.

I’m glad you have found counselling to be helpful. Life is easier when you have someone that will listen to and support you without expecting anything in return. Friends are great but sometimes you need an objective opinion. Hopefully seeing a therapist will help you reduce your anxiety. Waiting times can be long so please feel free to use this community when you need.

In response to: Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Thanks @Lapis_Anteater,

it is nice to hear your kind words. Nice to hear from someone else with autism, too, although we are all different. I have met a few people with autism since my diagnosis, but unfortunately, I didn't really gel with any of them! I can't say why this is. At present I don't even bother telling people that I have ASD or ask for concessions anywhere with anything, but all that may change. I remain pretty ambivalent. I don't dislike being autistic and even think that sometimes there could be some benefits, such as expanded creativity and the capacity to hyperfocus.

I am not strong, but I can be very determined. When I recovered from depression in took 3 to 4 years to deal with it and then another 3 to 4 years to gradually let go of how traumatic it was. So, perhaps 8 years in total, but I am still sensitive about the whole thing. During my recovery I didn't have any support apart from professionals - I even think some people assumed I was making the whole thing up, I really don't know. I could somehow pull myself together and function, so I guess people assumed it was nothing to worry about. This hurt more than anything - people's disbelief and dismissal.

Also, even a few doctors were sceptical of my suffering, which hurt and surprised me. I can sometimes have a stoic, flattened presentation which doesn't fit with how I am feeling.

How do you experience your autism and is it a mixed blessing for you too? If you don't mind me asking?

In response to: Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Hello @DahliaDreams

So glad to see you already have your own thread. Met you over on Red's thread ... cant stop rhyming ... and not even a crap rap artist.

I wonder if there is more intergeneration transmission of trauma than often acknowledged, and how that plays into ideas of what is and is not hereditary. Have you heard of the ACE score?

I relate heaps to when you said

"I still lacked self-esteem and found it difficult to express my emotions. I often keep things bottled up and focus more on others than myself."

Yes, lots of anxiety and panic attacks and MDD probably ASD, but how many Dx do we really want?. When my son was diagnosed they said his parents probably had it.

I am grateful for some of the online ASD culture. Eg.,

Orion Kelly (That Autistic Guy) for advocacy and lived experience, Nicole Marshall (Autism with Nicole) for adult diagnosis insights, and IndieAndy (Being Open About Autism),

@Lapis_Anteater Hey!

@REDLINEZ750 Giddai!

In response to: My life with depression and anxiety

Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Hi DD. Thanks for writing out your story. I’m glad to read that your journey still continues and your not giving up.

In response to: Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Thanks for your reply @Appleblossom,

I will have to check out those autism resources. When I was diagnosed with ASD, the psychologist said I would benefit from autism-specific counselling, but I never pursued it. I focused on trying to understand myself and did a lot of reading. One resource I found helpful was Musings of an Aspie.

I found I really related to this author's experiences. I have not read anything for years, though.

Not long after I was diagnosed, I met another autistic woman who discussed autism at length - but it kind of had a negative impact on me - as though being autistic is all I could ever be and my identity had to be tied up with be autistic and nothing else. We had a lot of discussions but I found it a bit depressing to be honest. Anyway, I won't go on about that. I will say that I don't think there is anything "wrong with me" because I am autistic - its just a different way of being in the world and not many people are going to "get it".

But I do think if people fall through the cracks and are never diagnosed then they can end up being traumatized by a lifetime of being misunderstood.

I saw some of your story on another thread - now I can't remember where. You mentioned some Melbourne musos who used to hang out with some of the people I used to know. It's a small world. Well, all that was a very long time ago.

In response to: Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Just a little tip @Peck, if you want other members to be notified that you've responded, you can tag them using the @ symbol, then selecting (or typing if they aren't in the drop down menu) their username so it shows up in blue, like this: @DahliaDreams

Welcome to the forums 😊

In response to: Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Will check out your Aspie link @DahliaDreams already like that she differentiates herself from Temple. Thx

Yes, it can be a strength. Find your own path with it. I forget about it completely for a while, then have a little look, when its relevant.

They wanted to put my son in the autistic school, which was not geared for high functioning. Again and again, the services mucked things up.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3456470-the-textures-of-silence

I read this early on, really identified with it, then later joined the dots regarding autism.

I also knew a shrink socially who had interesting opinions on the fashions in diagnosis.

Lovely to chat.

Ahh ... small world indeed. LOL Lovely to meet you.

In response to: Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Re: My life with depression and anxiety

Good morning @Appleblossom @Peck @Lapis_Anteater @Jynx @REDLINEZ750

Thanks everyone for their comments, it makes me feel better. Thanks for the book recommendation @Appleblossom

For some reason I can no longer read books. I can read short articles but I don't seem to be able to finish a book. I used to love reading - found books to be good company. I don't know why this has happened, this not being able to get engrossed in a book. It might be to do with the anxiety. It is a complete turnaround for me.

I talked to my partner last night and told him that I don't want to do anything in the lead up to Christmas. I don't want to go to any social events. He was fine about it, so that is a relief. Then I talked to one of my friends on the phone and she told me that I should push myself to get out of the house. Pretty funny and not helpful really.

I had half a tablet this morning, so I am feeling a bit more relaxed.

How is everyone else doing this moring?

1 - 10 of 103
12...11