Okay @Former-Member .... I started with the first page, then went to page six cos my iPad is being sucky and taking too long to load ... but I reckon I've got the gist of it anyway ....
So here's a few things I would like to say .....
Many parents don't know how to transition from being parents of kids to being parents of adult kids ..... I'm a parent of adult kids so I know what I am talking about .... and my hubby's culture is one where a lot of parents struggle with that .... and have control issues ....
Thats not your fault.
Compassionate people will be nice to other people even if they don't have a lot in common with them .... or find them grumpy .... or whatever .... sounds like you're sitting in a nest of non-compassionate people there Hon ....
Again .... not your fault.
Does that make you a bad person ..... nope. It just makes you a 20yo with parents who don't know how to transition, and a non-compassionate family .... you're a white sheep in a paddock of brown ones.
How to deal .... ??
Well, I went from a family who loved me and transitioned really well, to living in a different place with brown sheep .... and I was suffocating and feeling bad about myself .... and I learned some coping strategies .....
First one would have been this forum if I knew about it at the time .... 🎖
Next one is finding a support group .... people who share your issues and der stand what you're going through .... and you might make some friends there ....
I am assuming you have medical support ... GP, psychologist maybe .... therapist of some sort or counsellor to speak to .... ? If not, ask your GP for a referral, and I believe there is a plan available for a number of free visits under the health scheme.
Next .... learn to be polite to people who are unsupportive if you, but nothing more. Don't freeze them out if you have got to live with them, but just say please, thank you, I'm well thanks, and beyond that just treat them like work or uni associates that you interact with but don't really have a relationship with. Carry your own weight around the house to a reasonable extent, and then go out .... make a home for yourself at the college library to study, soending an hour in a favourite coffee shop with a cuppa parked on your table and some study gear .... and work out how to be a friend to yourself .... That part is important and will help with your recovery.
That way the people who are not supportive of you begin to find it difficult to fault you .... they might sling off at you for keeping your own company, but stick earphones in your ears to fog out the negativity, and start seeking moments of joy for yourself.
Wear your favourite colour.
Buy pens that you find attractive, rather than just functional.
Feed yourself foods and drinks that will nourish you and support positive moods.
Draw stick figures ... examples above ... and make them dance ....
When people upset you, draw stick figures of them and give them silly hairstyles and bags of bricks to carry around .... draw a door and put them outside of it .... be creative ....
i hope this helps .... 🌷💜
I hope she can walk with you here as well.
