such a failure :(

Even superglue deteriorates over time @Former-Member so those windows can still be opened at some point. For now it is all about keeping yourself safe!

Do not beat yourself up about not being able to deal with the anxiety and 'the rest' on your own - there are so many people on here that have struggled with similar issues for many, many years - myself for nearly 40 years. There are times when I cope ok and then there has been those times when I also can't see any light ...but by others showing me and telling me that it is possible - every single minute of every day - has helped me get to this point. I believe in you and that you can also get through this - I am here for you @Former-Member

i wish the super glue would deteriorate faster then. @Zoe7

im sick of fighting, and not coping and struggling every second of every day.

i hate life esp the way it is now. 😞

i dont want to use the hotlines, im sick of health professeional, they run my life now with so many that i have to deal with.

I'll see what I can do re: the deteriorating superglue - excessive exposure to sunlight will help the deterioration process - bit hard I know in a black hole lol

Maybe that is just what you need @Former-Member - excessive exposure to sunlight - what is the day like where you are? It is absolutely beautiful here today - the sun is out, no wind (I HATE the wind) and mid 20s - perfect.

im out in the sun all of the time @Zoe7

so that doesnt work ive tried. i just cant seem to get myself out of it. @Zoe7

im tired, and sick of everything. i cant get a break, i wish i could detatch from myself for a while just so i can be somewhere else for a while.

my sisters are fine yet im panicking they arent, my pop is fine (to the best he can be) and i still worry, i worry about every little thing. i havent come across one thing that has just slipped my mind from not worrying. even when people say certain words, i see certain objects, smell certain things it sets it all off and ive gone form having high (constant) anxiety to a full blown panic attack. or ill be in a complete state of depression where even the thoughts tire me but they are still there swirling around i just cant make out what some are.

This may seems a little different but have you tried drawing what you see - and by that I mean just picking up a pencil or pen and paper and just drawing whatever comes out. Sometimes we can see what is swirling around by channelling that into our hands and our drawing. This may not be something that helps you at all but I find 'doodling' - literally just making marks on paper - help me to ease the thoughts in my head a little @Former-Member

That's the magic of 'just doodling' @Former-Member you focus more on the page but what you produce doesn't have to look like or be anything - it is just a release of sorts. I like to draw hundreds of swirls or circles - of all sizes - and then shade diferent parts of them. How about those or trying lots of diamond shapes - whatever shape you like...

Great @Former-Member start drawing your chains and then turn them into some form of image or even words...

...fill the whole page even and start to shade between the links.