~ Toolshed 2: Power Tools for Recovery ~

Awwww @PeppyPatti thank you for your beautiful response. And you remind me or me. We sound very similar.

I am a survivor too. Sometime when I go through all the different struggles, trauma and abuse that I have been through, if I told people, they wouldn't believe me, because it just seems to be so many different things with a couple of good years thrown in there, to show me how I should be living.

• I also have Less teeth, 20 overweight, no titles,

And I am so happy to hear that my messages actually keep you strong. That's why I like sharing them, because they give me the strength to keep getting up and fighting, even though at the moment, living in a caravan for the 3rd time in my life is not a hight point for me. But hey, I have a roof over my head and I have food to eat and clothes on my back. My sister is willing to help me out with the things that I can't do because of my back, and I take care of taking our mum to her appointments when needed. And since mum is getting on in years and her health is declining, I am also using this time to spend more time with her.

Yes everyone has their story and sometimes you do think to yourself, wouldn't it be nice if I had the same support that other people have, or get to spend time with nieces and nephews etc. But I think that is only a natural way of thinking and you shouldn't feel bad about thinking this way.

My sister is currently living in the rumpus room at our mum's place, as she has nowhere else to go either. And because of her separation, two of her children have lied to the lawyers and the police about the abuse my sister suffered through for 36 years of her relationships. So because of these lies, my sister, my mum and I have now blocked them out of our lives, which is a shame because now I don't get to see my great nieces or nephews. But I can't move past the lies that they have told and that they have not supported their mother who raised them. Their father did nothing but work work work. So he was never home to support them or look after them. Just financially. Maybe one day we might reconcile, but for the moment, we are all too made to even think about associating with any of them.

Unfortunately, I too learn the hard way to not trust everybody with your very vulnerable information, because it seems to have a way of coming back to bite you on the bum, or people that you did not want to know these details, somehow learn of your vulnerabilities.

I now filter everything through my head first and think to myself, do they really need to know that piece of information. And most of the time, they do not. So, they get the filtered version. It takes a bit of practice as I used to tell anybody everything about me. Now I am not so free with what I tell people.

And I too and not as cool or as friendly as some others, but I am okay with that. I am me, and I usually wear my heart on my sleeve and tell it like it is.

I appreciate our conversations and the kind words that you have written ❤️

@Rosepetal96 Yes it is.

About 6 months ago I came across a recording on my phone of a session with a therapist and it was a very hard one to listen to, as I was not in a good place mentally. But the therapist was pointing out to me the way that I speak and treat myself etc. He also wanted to know what I wanted to achieve in the future. I got very upset as I thought OMG it's been years since that recording and I have achieved anything.

When I went to my next appointment with my social worker, I told her about the recording, and she pointed out all the great improvements that I had made within the 2 years that I had been with her. And when I actually sat down and thought it through, she was right. They were not massive improvements, but all small steps towards to the greater goal. This then put things into perspective for me, and I became really proud of just how far I have come.

So, the changes don't have to be big, you just need to keep making the small changes that help get you towards your end goal. And for me they had to be small steps, because if it is too much of a change that is needed, I get overwhelmed, and then nothing is achieved. Just keep chipping away at your goal and you will get to where you want to be in the end. I am into my 7th year of my reawakening and educating journey, and I enjoy learning anything I can, that will improve my mental health and help make my life happier.

Thats a massive hike @MissGremlin

I wish I could help.

@Appleblossom @MissGremlin The 1st time I lived in a caravan, I didn't really mind because we had a plan. We were going to do it for 12 months and save as much money as we could for a house deposit. And in the end we built our beautiful dream home. So the small living environment was worth it in the end.

But the 2nd time and now, were out of necessity as I have/had nowhere else to go. I also stayed with my nieces in laws for 6 months as they kindly offered their sofa bed. So did a bit of couch surfing as well. But with the rental crisis as it is, I can't see an ending in sight that will be beneficial. It is hard to stay positive, but I try, just like you Dreamy xxx

Thanks @Appleblossom that is the sort of picture that makes me relax and feel good.

Thanks @Mustang67

more than I can express.

Awww @MissGremlin I am so sad to hear that. Do you have any friend's you can couch surf with for a while?

It is so horrible that it has come to this. Have you thought about contacting your Parlament representative in the area you currently are, and explaining the situation about the rent and having nowhere to go. Not sure if they can help or not, but they might know some other option.

I am out of suggestions for you, but I don't want to see you suffer 😥

@Mustang67 unfortunately I don't have anyone I can stay with. It's just devastating cos I'm about to lose everything 😞.

I did that last year when I was in this situation but sadly there's nothing they could do either. There's simply not enough housing and the cost of living has made it impossible to survive.

Thankyou for your suggestions sweetheart ❤️

@MissGremlin