Re: Studies
@creative_writer
I wonder if there is a way you can get the accommodations or help you need at uni without telling the tutors exactly what is going on for you?
I did this in high school :). The school counsellor was able to give me the ability to say to a teacher "I'm sorry, I can't do that. If you need to check with someone, please speak to the school counsellor to confirm their support for it." I also had to tell some (impacted) teachers that I would be absent from a specific class-time every week/fortnight -- but I didn't have to tell them why I was absent, just that it was "approved" and the school needed them to also agree/acknowledge it.
It can be a bit harder when specific accommodations are required - but this is where your doctors/psych come in to help! A month ago I emailed my current studies coordinator to give feedback on how difficult a spontaneous-language-conversation assessment had been (which I realised afterward the assessment was due to undiagnosed autism which I'm currently being assessed for). This was a bit harder for me because I didn't have any "diagnosis" yet, but thankfully it's not something personally sensitive to me - so I can be an open book with someone I've never met. I think this actually helped me in the subsequent assessment because whilst I had never mentioned having challenges 'picking up or communicating perceptions of affect/tone' -- it's something I have consistently been marked down for in this language study in the past (which I didn't know until I looked back on my assessments from over 10 years ago!) because I never realised I "wasn't explaining the tone" of another person's conversation-interpretation. However when I totally missed explaining this in my assessment last month, they explictly told me and asked if I would be able to explain to them the "tone" and through conversation i was able to understand what they meant by the term "tone" lol. So they added my extra explanation into the assessment and I passed it. 🙂
When it comes to MH and suicidality it can be a lot harder though, I know. But believe it or not, I've had that experience too! But in work, not studies. I had a phase of super-repetitive strong SI that unfortunately coincided with me also being asked to work on scoping/investigating reporting on health risk-screening measures - which included suicide risk screenings. Often it wouldn't have been a problem for me, because I am passionate about identifying suicide risk in order to for people to get help/support. But where I was at the time -- trying to seek support and being told no affordable supports existed -- it was making my own SI worse, so having to do work on reports to identify SI risk for the very organisation that has also told me that they can't provide me any supports for my chronic and active SI -- that was super triggering. But I had a boss I really trusted, and she didn't know what my MH challenges were, but she knew I had struggles. So I just asked her "can you please not assign me any work related to suicide risk assessments currently?" and she said agreed without further question. 🙂
Now, of course, I had a lot of trust with her! But if I didn't, my tactic would have been to ask my GP to write a letter to ask for me to not be assigned (more broadly) "the piece of work on health risk assessments" and instead to be assigned one of the many other pieces of work also a priority for the team. This is a less-threatening approach for me.
How does this relate to your situation?
It's ok to ask your doctor/psych to write a letter requesting (as ideas) :
a) self-paced study for that module (whichever ones trigger you)
b) extra time to complete those modules
c) understanding that you may need to leave the classroom unexpectedly
d) using headphones/earplugs/sunglasses/etc to reduce any sensory overwhelm that also may not help (if applicable)
It's also OK to talk to the university's student support team / counsellors to let them know that you have external supports but need an internal of university advocate for your adjustment needs.
"SA content triggers me"
It could also mean that a close friend or family member has been impacted by it, and coping with the pain you feel on their behalf if something you are working through. 😉
I never assume it's easy for my family or friends who are aware of my CSA past to know that it happened.
"Maybe forming friendships is more about finding the people I gel well with."
Yes! My heart leapt at this. 🙂 I agree in full. I have realised all the friends I like spending time with 1:1 are either:
a) AuDHD (or suspected)
b) Open to talking/reflecting about their MH experiences
As a teenager I felt such disconnect because b) did not (yet) apply to most of them, and I guess AuDHD isn't that common in the population (even undiagnosed - it's what, 5% estimated?). But I did find 2 good friends at school that I chose to keep in close contact with, and guess what? They both have had MH challenges & AuDHD traits lol.
Find your tribe.
"I know I will need to do it during sessions when I have my own clients."
Does it make it any easier when you can ask a person on how it affects them or the more relational "peer-style" shared-experience connections?
The reason I ask is... I know for myself it can be triggering listening to a lecture about MH that I have a lived experience of because of how strongly it resonated with me and my own pains. But I do not experience this when I am speaking to someone 1:1 where I can talk to them and explore how they feel - somehow talking about it (even if its about THEIR feelings) is regulating to me!
I would love to know what an "Iftar" is and what that looks like for you 🙂 I can guess it is related to your beliefs, but it's not a term I am familiar with yet 🙂
(PS - one of my Year 11/12 subjects I chose was Religion Studies because I love learning about different people's beliefs!)
