Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

hello and hugs @creative_writer

sitting with you my awesome friend xx

Hello lovely @creative_writer,

Just checking in. How have things been for you this week? 🥰

I understand, with healing comes many ebbs and flows, hey? @creative_writer

What are some things that have felt better about this week? 💛

And I am well. Just trying to get through an assessment for uni that I have been procrastinating on, as usual. 😅

I understand where you're coming from completely. It really is such a vulnerable undertaking to study something that can also trigger us so deeply. It's tough when it's an ongoing part of class discussion, isn't it? Have you been able to talk with your tutors/uni counsellors about how you're feeling?

I am glad you have a friend you can explore this topic with in your own time, that must feel really relieving. Forming friendships when you feel comfortable sounds like a really wonderful way to connect safely. @creative_writer

I wonder if you could cultivate a self-soothing practice for when you're in class?

And today, I helped make brunch for my partner's parents and housemates, so that was rather wholesome. 🥰 What about you?

@creative_writer I'm reading through page 87 (current page) and onwards - but please do fill me in on anything important for me to know that I've missed on previous pages?

"Do triggers get easier to manage? "

My experience, yes! For once I can say I have found something get easier over the years lol. For me, being aware of the trigger is so key - because then I am aware to monitor it and also analyse if there is anything I can do/change/adjust to prevent the trigger or reduce the overwhelm - as well as have planned techniques for how to help myself once I am triggered.

...but if I don't know what's triggering me? Thats almost impossible to prepare for!

Only this year I have realised (most likely) why I used to "crash" mentally after social groups & school-classroom environments. It's only after my GP said she strongly suspected autism that I later (upon reading a lot into high-masking autism & AuDHD presentation) that the wrecking-ball (honestly, not just a penny!) dropped that I react (and still do) to sensory overwhelm in those environments (for me, the noise most significantly) as well as the extreme tiring effort of "pretending" to enjoy/happy and the feeling of social disconnect/disinterest with my peers and what they find "fun" and "interesting".

I wonder if any of that resonates? It doesn't have to 🙂 but I have found a few others that have resonated with it once I've told them my own realisation this year - so I'm throwing it out there just in case it does.

"I’m no longer suicidal but I am still distressed over historical SA."

Firstly, that is a massive improvement in reduced active suicidal thoughts/feelings @creative_writer ! I am so glad for you and I hope that brings you some relief even though I hear and understand that it is still distressing to have had and remember those thoughts/feelings. I guess experiencing suicidality (even if not actioned upon) is traumatic too?

I wonder what helps you most to process this traumatic experience in a way to be able to integrate it as "your past experience" and also build up your strength as a lived-experience of MH and suicidality?

(For me, the "lived experience" perspective is key for my coping -- If I've had this painful experience, how do I help others either prevent having it too or else help them cope during and after. Plus also for me, my sense of humour - because then I can also use my own dilemmas or poor decisions I've made or how I see the world (frustration, contradictions) and make something a more positive out of it for myself and others.)