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Something’s not right

Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor12 Sept 2025, 4:22 pm AEST

Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

I have multiple mental illnesses including Bipolar 2, cptsd, OCD, social anxiety. I’m also neurodivergent, ADHD and ASD. I already have tons of labels and a lot going on. I’m getting assessed for an ED on Monday during my psych appointment, I reckon I meet criteria so I am anticipating another diagnosis. I know it explains my how I’ve been feeling but it’s another label, I hate feeling so broken and feeling like I’m complicated. I know my disordered eating habits are adversely affecting my mental and physical health, I’ve just been in denial for so long and would also get defensive when people commented on my eating habits or asked about them.

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In response to: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor12 Sept 2025, 4:40 pm AEST

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

That's pretty tough @creative_writer

Acknowledging disordered eating is a good step towards recovering. Its tough when we have so many disordered and maladaptive ways of coping with how feel.

I hope that instead of seeing it as something else wrong with you, you see it as the psychiatrist is concerned for you and wants to find a way of helping you.

When I got my ED diagnosis is geve me access to the ED mental health care plan, which gave at the time 40 psychology, 10 dietician and a few other sessions for allied health through Medicare. The extra ability to access the support helped. And Acknowledging I struggled with food and body image so much helped me find a way through it.

It might feel like you are just more broken, but you are strong for admitting and facing this demon instead of hiding behind its mask.

I hope that whatever the outcome you relieve care and support and options to help guide you to a healthier and happier life

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor12 Sept 2025, 5:21 pm AEST

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@The-red-centaur I honestly believe my ED purpose is to gain control. When you already have a lot going on like body flashbacks (probably the biggest driving factor), unstable mood and even chronic pain, wanting to gain control feels natural. I have disordered eating, and even disordered relationship with exercise. It's always about control now, it's never about improving my wellbeing. One of the benefits of going on ED plan is more therapy medicare rebated sessions. 10 isn't cutting it for me right now and my presentation is way too complez. My psych thinks that ideally therapy sessions should be fortnightly instead of monthly. Might also need to look into ED dietician sessions. I just need to wait till all the paperwork is done. I've hide behind the mask of healthy eating and exercise before, but it's gotten harder to keep it up over time. I am always sick and fatigued

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor12 Sept 2025, 7:15 pm AEST

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

Do I feel gross because of ED or because of trauma? Or both.

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

JynxModerator12 Sept 2025, 7:37 pm AEST

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@creative_writer can be hard to really pinpoint hey. Does the cause change how you respond to the feelings?

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor12 Sept 2025, 7:53 pm AEST

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@Jynx I guess not. I am in an active body flashback and ate dinner. I couldn't eat everything because I felt too full with sensitive gut, I didn't push because it'll just trigger me more. It's so overwhelming trying to eat adequately, I know I need better nutrition than I am getting with an active lifestyle. Both food and trauma probably brought up emotions. Maybe part of the gross feeling is also the physical gut being annoying, maybe I am too anxious and maybe my period isn't helping. I have been crying way too much

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

JynxModerator12 Sept 2025, 8:29 pm AEST

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

Oh hun, that all sounds like so much @creative_writer and like it would all be like, cyclical feedback loops, if that makes sense?

I am glad to hear you are taking it slowly and gently, as frustrating as it can be 🤞💜

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor12 Sept 2025, 8:50 pm AEST

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@Jynx yeah, probably feedback loops, it all feeds off each other. At least they say the body and mind can heal, but you’ve got to heal both physically and mentally. I’m scared. I know support is there, but healing is hard. Letting go of control is hard.

Maybe I’ve been extra emotional and maybe it won’t always be like this. I know I’m not in the social work field right now. I seriously feel like it’ll be so hard to not bawl my eyes out when seeing other people crying with where I’m at right now. I’m worried of crying too much when working with clients. Maybe it is an odd worry to have when I’m not even employed yet. I guess the universe was designed in a way to force me to work on my healing before becoming employed

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

JynxModerator12 Sept 2025, 9:16 pm AEST

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@creative_writer aye it is hard, and hard to find the right balance along the way hey. And that is a legit line of questioning in my opinion - we always have to ask ourselves how our behaviour may impact the client. I think it'll be different once you're actually in it tho, and you may surprise yourself. Plus I think there will be times where a client seeing you cry would be super moving and not at all inappropriate. You never know 😉

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor13 Sept 2025, 2:10 am AEST

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@Jynx I really should be asleep right now and probably should try to get some sleep to prevent bipolar from hitting hard. The recent depressive episodes with manic features weren’t fun, lack of sleep puts me at risk. I don’t want to be suicidal again.

I’ve spent some of tonight crying, my eye mask was soaked so had to pull another out of my closet. It hit me now that I may have been triggered by a song. Some of the lyrics were a bit confronting. The song is about trauma. It did have a line about consent and how victims often blame themselves. It feels so relatable for sexual assault survivors.

Maybe in some instances it would be appropriate to shed tears, maybe not sob. I’ve certainly teared up on helpline shifts before, hearing a crying voice makes me want to cry. Though I don’t think it’s ever been obvious since they can’t see me

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor13 Sept 2025, 5:48 pm AEST

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

Trying to not let my ED take a stronger hold. Today has been emotionally taxing and exhausting, maybe I’m in shock. I’m stuck in disbelief, but that’s just grief

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.