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Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor12 Sept 2025, 4:22 pm AEST

Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

I have multiple mental illnesses including Bipolar 2, cptsd, OCD, social anxiety. I’m also neurodivergent, ADHD and ASD. I already have tons of labels and a lot going on. I’m getting assessed for an ED on Monday during my psych appointment, I reckon I meet criteria so I am anticipating another diagnosis. I know it explains my how I’ve been feeling but it’s another label, I hate feeling so broken and feeling like I’m complicated. I know my disordered eating habits are adversely affecting my mental and physical health, I’ve just been in denial for so long and would also get defensive when people commented on my eating habits or asked about them.

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In response to: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

JynxModerator28 Sept 2025, 4:07 pm AEST

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@creative_writer For sure!!

Here

Charging....DING! Fully charged!Just a handsome fella in him shirtNap time!RAWR! I am FIERCE!

Aww that's rough hun. Restful day for you today?

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor28 Sept 2025, 4:22 pm AEST

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@Jynx cuties overload 💖. They're so lucky to have such a awesome cat parent. I hope today has been gentle towards you.

Nah, I haven't been resting, despite my migraine and not sleeping properly for two days straight. I've been on the go the whole day, I made the effort to get exercise earlier in the day before the migraine peaked. I've been a busy bee, can't slow down. My mind is racing and have too much nervous energy, I know I should slow down, the chances of this migraine entering high intensity zone is going up. I've sort of been trying to avoid being stuck in my mind, racing thoughts=more intrusive thoughts. Don't want to think about what I don't want to think about

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

JynxModerator28 Sept 2025, 5:42 pm AEST

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@creative_writer aww bless, ty hun.

That is rough. Can be a catch-22 hey, rest and risk ruminating, or stay busy and risk burning out. Do you find it helpful to try to express or release the energy with some movement?

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor28 Sept 2025, 6:30 pm AEST

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@Jynx I’ve already exercised today. Did the circuit conditioning type today. I did it this morning before the migraine kicked in to the peak.

Numbers are stressing me to the core, and I can’t say more.

I don’t feel like I’m in control and that scares me

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

JynxModerator28 Sept 2025, 7:10 pm AEST

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@creative_writer I can really hear how much stress it is causing you hun. Almost feels like there's a tension between the sense of control from watching those numbers, and yet feeling out of control when you find yourself so caught up in it all. Is that about right?

Alas, I don't have much experience managing EDs so I'm not entirely sure what might help. Maybe it's a good time to reach out to The Butterfly Foundation? Or any of your preferred supports who might help you figure out your next steps.

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor28 Sept 2025, 7:29 pm AEST

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@Jynx yeah, part of it is ED and part of it is struggling to stabilise my other mental illnesses. Though I might try to reach out to Butterfly Foundation again.

I haven’t slept properly for two days, probably back to depression with manic features. The way I’ve been pushing myself isn’t my normal. Getting urges to buy stuff on impulse now, and I mean stuff I probably don’t even need. Hopefully my night meds help me finally sleep. Sleep usually levels me out.

My body also feels weird and uncomfy rn, and I’m dreading talking about things with my psych, not even sure what to say to be honest. My appointment is mid October, she gave me some time to get the ED plan sorted.

TW: runination

Content/trigger warning

I can’t stop thinking about mental contamination and germ contamination. I keep obsessing over that something is wrong with me and I’m a bad person. I always feel like things are dirty. I know wiping everything with antiseptic isn’t healthy for the immune system, and it’s hard to not do it. Though at the very least I’ve gotten the less toxic ones, so hopefully not as harsh but not ideal. Sorry that all probably sounds a lot, not sure if it all sounds disjointed. I know its thoughts and thoughts aren’t always accurate, but I feel like I’m getting lots of thoughts. These thoughts are like noisy speeding cars, there is a lot going on at once

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

JynxModerator28 Sept 2025, 9:18 pm AEST

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@creative_writer I can really hear how much you're in the spirally-thought-zone hun.

Take some long, measured breaths if things are feeling like a lot, ok? 60 seconds does wonders.

Has anything shifted after having a bit of a vent?

I can hear there's a lot going on - and maybe continuing to talk about it at this moment may not be helpful, might just be sending more cars speeding down your brainway yeah?

But it's important stuff to be putting into words, I think it'll make it a bit easier to talk about with your psych/supports, when you feel ready to 💜

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor29 Sept 2025, 12:26 pm AEST

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@Jynx putting it into words helped clarify what was going in my mind, but I wasn't ready to unpack it. I slept a lot better today, feeling more leveled. A racing mind can muddle thoughts up and it can make it hard to unpack all the heavy thoughts and emotions, it leaves me feeling sort of confused. On the plus side, I didn't become suicidal. I was afraid of an escalation, especially knowing how my bipolar plays out with mixed episodes during lack of sleep periods.

Still feeling worried about what to say to my psych next appointment, not sure how much to say and scared of being retraumatised. Scared of being judged, scared of not being able to cope. Big heavy emotions are rough, but I know the way through is to walk through the fire. I may not need to go into details, but even then it is super hard. I want to heal, but I am scared of healing. EDs, OCD and being a control freak can give a false sense of control at times.

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor03 Oct 2025, 5:46 pm AEST

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@Jynx my bipolar is back to stable. But I’ve been noticing myself disassociating, and perhaps have been on a regular basis for a long time but never realised. I wonder if that’s why I feel so disconnected from myself and other people a lot. Lots of derealisation and depersonalisation, didn’t realise the significance of the issue until recently. I can bring it up next session. I got to get the referral next week and my psych and dietician sessions are the week after

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

JynxModerator03 Oct 2025, 6:10 pm AEST

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

Would make sense @creative_writer does it scare you, or more like 'ahhh this is what's been going on' kinda moment?

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