Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

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@creative_writer wrote:
@AuntGlow I have a laptop elevator so I am able to study while standing. I can also work on the spot. Having ADHD means it’s super hard to sit still and I hate being seated for long periods of time. I’ve been out today, haven’t had as much time to think. It’s still been hard because being 100% distracted is not possible. Thoughts still come. Depression and trauma can be sticky. It can be so hard to separate myself from my mind. I need to try to get through today without repeating yesterday.

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Ooh, wanted to respond to this as well! @creative_writer

The laptop stand makes things sooo much more versatile work-wise, hey? Movement is key for a busy, bouncy mind.

I hear you... it really is hard to seperate from our thoughts, it's something I am still working on too. 🫶

Do you like podcasts?

@creative_writer I think similar to @AlwaysMyself I found it more useful for reframing than challenging... though I suppose one could argue they're one and the same 😅

I think for me, it wasn't about challenging them in an antagonistic way, but more like being curious about where the thoughts are from (i.e. is this my father's viewpoint, or something I was bullied about in school, for instance) and what they're trying to accomplish (e.g. thoughts focused on failure are usually an ineffective motivational tact, thoughts criticising me for social misunderstandings are trying to protect me from loneliness, etc.). I've been doing a lot more parts work, and find that can kinda be combined with CBT-like principles, but more like an internal dialogue where I'm working on resolving inner conflict in a healing way, rather than sort of... I guess labelling some thoughts as 'bad' or 'undesirable'. Not sure that makes sense but I digress!

Oh! I have just seen this post -

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@creative_writer wrote:
I’m safe but feel the need to SH. Too many thoughts

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What might be helpful for you in terms of helping you engage in some urge-surfing/self-care/coping?

Remember that reaching out to a crisis service can be a good way to delay/distract/prevent.

Here for you hun 💜

@creative_writer for sure. I think this is why I prefer holistic/eclectic approaches that combine a range of different modalities, but all of it grounded in a safe and trusting relationship.

Hmm maybe just removing/altering one thing could help? To signal to your brain that your intention is to resist those urges. Sometimes practical actions can help build up that sense of control within our nervous system.

I wonder if there's a prayer that can combine the two, help you focus on your senses and being safe in the present, whilst also connecting to your spirituality.

That might be over-complicating things.... 😅

We can do it together if you like. This is of course, only a suggestion - but feel free to share with us about five (or so) items in your room that you can see that are meaningful to you?

@creative_writer good on you, yes it can't hurt to try 😉

Yeah that's it hey, trying to signal to our nervous systems that we are in fact safe, that we do have control and personal power.

I've also just realised it must be Ramadan no? Ramadan Mubarak to you hun! 💜

@Jynx @creative_writer i thought of you both today and was going to post easier but phone a call. Had my own meltdown today and remembering that "yeah, and even @Jynx says they have big meltdowns too" made me smile in an "its ok" way.

And because i still always get really strong SH urges when I'm upset, it got me thinking... given that is a really common autistic response to dysregulation... what alterative (non traditional, not grounding) techniques do people recommend for replacing autistic SH in meltdown? So i googled it. I really liked this perspective (and could be adapted to any required way of expressing safe energy)

Here is what i read one person suggestion:

If you really can't refrain from the desire to xxxxxx specifically, may I suggest trying a pool noodle. As a child, I would sit on the floor of my closet and repeatedly hit my head lightly against the wall, but it actually really soothes me. When I was a kid I would put a stuffed animal around my neck like giving it a piggy back ride to cushion the blow and stop my parents from checking on me.

Sometimes work frustrations bring back the urge. I went to the dollar store and got a pool noodle. I can bop it off my forehead/top of my head a billion times in a row and it doesn't hurt or leave a mark. It also makes a fun sound on contact. Sometimes working with the urge is the best way for me to find a way to cope.

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I loved their idea of "working with the urge" @creative_writer - how can we express that same energy and impulse but in a completely safe way? (Like cushioning, or a pool noodle in their example)

Of course we cant mention SH methods here. But i think its OK to mention Self-NON-harm methods, right???

I wonder if ideas could be like:

- hitting cushion on head

- dragging a feather over skin

- holding ice cubes (this is a common one)

- tasting citric acid / sour lollies (i was told this one by a valued friend!)

- .....?

If it helps with self-esteem and "helping others is helping myself" context @creative_writer , i was very much questioning today why i have a commitment to not SH (even after 20 years of not doing any). The only reason i *felt* connected to was "to be a good role model to people like @creative_writer ". So thank you. YOU helped me today without even knowing it 🤭