Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

For sure @creative_writer - you got this, and you aren't alone 💜

If you felt like sharing some of your goals, I think that'd be wonderful - both in terms of sharing some of your culture with the community, and so that we can support you in sticking to them as best you can!

Hope the rest of your night is restful and that you can get some good sleep tonight hun 😊

Hugs!

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Absolutely love this @AlwaysMyself thank you so much for sharing!! I might just have to go find myself a pool noodle hehehe

Such a good thought too - to work with rather than always just focusing on resisting. Incredibly valuable info!

@AlwaysMyself I need to look into pool noodles. Even before SH came about, I used to stim in not so good ways as a child and sometimes I still do. Finding ways to stim in safe ways would probably help both not so good stims and SH.

I don’t have cushions but I do have pillows and my sateen bed sheets. I need to get new pillows because I think mine have gotten squished 😂. Mine are weird and have expiry dates. They both expired years ago lol 🤣.

@Jynx I do want to be able to incorporate more prayer and turn to my spiritual beliefs each time instead of resorting to unhelpful risky coping. It’s super hard to concentrate and I feel like there is a block. I felt like it was getting easier to be productive but I’ve noticed a dip. I also slept almost 10 hours today. I set my alarm for earlier but then go back to sleep. Maybe I need to set more alarms. I would say between 8-9 hours is more ideal. I can’t do less than 7 hours either because I can’t afford going to mania territory.

I hope you slept okay last night 💖. I know you struggle, ADHD brains can mean winding down is hard. My meds are super sedative, I don’t know how I would fall asleep in a reasonable amount of time without them. I used to take a while falling asleep as a kid. I wasn’t the kid who fell asleep after 15 minutes. I used to annoy my mum so much as a toddler, I refused to take naps from a young age

How do I get rid of intrusive thoughts? I try not to think but can’t not think. They keep intruding in and it’s leaving me on edge. I’m safe right now, but my thoughts go to dark places

Maybe being physically unwell isn’t helping. My head is pounding. I am tired, I want it to get better, just not sure how it’ll get better and when it’ll get better. I don’t want SI to be the only way out. I’m safe. How much longer can I hold on? Therapy will take time, but what do I do meanwhile?

@creative_writer perhaps you could reflect on and pray about the block itself? It may become clearer as to what is stuck... food for thought.

Sometimes I will set a gentle alarm earlier than needed, with the 'permission' to press snooze. Then when I actually want or need to wake up the alarm sound is a lot harsher.

I can take between 15-45 minutes, depending on a myriad of factors... busy brain, sensory sensitivities meaning I am uncomfortable no matter which way I toss and turn, unable to fall into the white noise I listen to (which is supposed to drown out my tinnitus but sometimes the ringing is too intrusive).

Haha fun fact - I left pre-school a year early because I despised nap time!! I could never nap so I just lay there getting bored and restless... oh the signs of the neurospicy, they're everywhere once I knew what to look for!!

Do you have a bedtime wind down ritual of sorts?

@Jynx my thoughts are starting to race at higher speed. I’m just getting more and more agitated, jittery and too much bad sort of energy. Hopefully it’ll settle soon or I’ll need to talk to my pdoc.

I was an hyperactive child. I think I told you about the time I stole people’s glasses while they prayed and I also got lost after zooming away.

I’ve just finished up with prayers, got ready for bed, did my skincare, also brushed and massaged my scalp.

I hope you’ve had a great birthday 💖

@creative_writer love the image of you stealing people's glasses 😂

I hope that you're able to find some ways to slow and soothe, and to chat to your supports when you feel ready. I imagine racing thoughts and agitation can be flags for mania, and I know that can be a super scary place to be.

Thanks, it was a very lovely day 😊

Hope today has been kind to you hun 💜

@Jynx I loved shinny things as a child. I also loved mirrors, I was super girly as a baby. I did go through the “I’m not like other girls” during my teen years. I was considered an oddball and other kids weren’t so accepting.

I’ll see how I go with my MH. I see my psychiatrist and new psych in two weeks. I do have my safety plan that I can use when it gets overwhelming. It’s so much easier to access on the app. Just trying to hang on and stay safe.

I also have an GP appointment tomorrow before he goes away for holidays. I haven’t told my GP a whole lot about my MH but I think he knows enough to support me.

What did you get up to on your birthday?

@creative_writer aww, yeah it's hard when you don't fit in hey. Or your interests are considered weird or inappropriate.... I had a HUGE collection of plushies long after I was supposed to be 'too old' for them. I regret letting go of so many nowadays...

Glad to hear you've got things in place and plans to chat to them about it all 😊

I had a pretty chill one, spent it with my partner. We got back from a little trip to Phillip Island from the weekend too, was so nice to get out of the city for a little bit. It's definitely quieter, which helps me feel at ease. Plus, floating in the ocean is soooo soothing 😍🌊