@tyme Not sure if you read yet or not (totally OK not to have - hence mentioning it here in passing), the MH-GP I saw yesterday asked if I might have autism. I hadn't said anything about having traits or friends suggesting it to me, etc etc. Its was 100% from her observation & my description of my depression & SI 😅. ...it certainly could explain why my depression is quite different from 'textbook' depression.
@creative_writer Once upon a time (not a fairytale sadly though) travel-holidays were my relief from depression. The past 4 years, similar to yourself, my SI has persisted even whilst travelling on holidays. It sucks eh, when even the things that used to help don't help?
I am also hoping the new meds help alleviate and stabilise your mood. You are so right about not being able to make underlying progress whilst living in crisis day-to-day or week-to-week. *hugs*
I've been on my same medication for 15 years, and have been coming off it since the new year (under GP guidance and because of an upcoming treatment that requires me to no be on the medication). I had been wondering for 1-2 years whether the meds were actually doing anything anymore. ... so far (and I'm now at 25% of the original dosage, which was the maximum dosage) -- absolutely no mood change over the past month of tapering. So yeah .. don't think those meds were still helping me at all (or much) still. Of course no idea *when* they started decreasing in effectivity. I assume they must have helped when I started on them, or else the pdoc I saw weekly would have noticed it did nothing and surely would have tried something else instead. But of course no doctor has ever suggested for me to try coming off them or change them -- I assume because they are either worried if I do get worse from coming off them, and/or they don't know what else to change me to??
On the positive side -- I guess I've learned to self-manage without actually having any assistance from the medication?? 🤣 it's like my mental-health weaned itself off the medication many years ago, and now it's just the physical side-effects that my body is weaning itself off 😂🤣.
I'm really glad you are open & honest with your MH team about the thoughts. 🙂 I agree that if they are aware of them, they can better cater their approach to how to help you most. 🙂 . Even if it can be really hard to talk about it. Sometimes I will pre-warn a new MH support that "I apologise, some of this may be a little confronting" -- because I can be very blunt about my thoughts with my MH supports (because I know it is OK to be honest! of course I can't do this elsewhere).
