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Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor12 Sept 2025, 4:22 pm AEST

Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

I have multiple mental illnesses including Bipolar 2, cptsd, OCD, social anxiety. I’m also neurodivergent, ADHD and ASD. I already have tons of labels and a lot going on. I’m getting assessed for an ED on Monday during my psych appointment, I reckon I meet criteria so I am anticipating another diagnosis. I know it explains my how I’ve been feeling but it’s another label, I hate feeling so broken and feeling like I’m complicated. I know my disordered eating habits are adversely affecting my mental and physical health, I’ve just been in denial for so long and would also get defensive when people commented on my eating habits or asked about them.

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In response to: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor31 Jan 2026, 9:36 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

It's really hard to not be hard on myself. I blame myself for not seeing a way out. Maybe I am better than I was before, but I am still far from being okay

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

AuntGlowModerator31 Jan 2026, 10:27 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

Hello lovely @creative_writer 💖

I get that feeling, it is hard to not be hard on ourselves... I am curious, how do you think being hard on yourself 'helps' you?

And noticing that you are better than you were is really wonderful. I know you aren't where you'd like to be, but I wonder if we can redirect to what you have processed? i.e.: Can you share a little bit about how you've grown and evolved? 🫶

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor31 Jan 2026, 10:37 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@AuntGlow I know being hard on myself isn’t helpful. I have just internalised a lot. Sadly many people with mental health struggles are blamed and shamed.

I’ve noticed some changes recently due to med changes. It’s easier to stay safe and I might be a bit less depressed. I just have to wait and see if I get further improvements from meds. I have a lot of processing work to do

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

AuntGlowModerator31 Jan 2026, 10:53 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

I would like to clarify what I mean by 'helps' - I should have done this in the last message, I apologise! @creative_writer

I have a strong inner-critic too, and I find that because of my own internalised messages, sometimes shaming and blaming myself can create a sense of control... and in a way, that 'helps' to keep me safe, because shifting that pattern feels really vulnerable, scary, and unfamiliar (which is completely understandable, because exactly as you said, people who experience mental ill-health can be blamed and shamed). But I think acknowledging these cycles as a form of self-protection, can perhaps allow a bit more room for self-compassion. Does that make sense? 🤔

This is SO amazing to hear, I am really glad that medication is giving you a bit more room to regulate.

Processing work might actually feel a little more accessible from this place too. ☺️

What happens when you lean into the feeling/acknowledgement that it’s easier to stay safe and that you might be a bit less depressed? 💛

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor01 Feb 2026, 3:22 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@AuntGlow part of it might be self protection. It is hard to shift perspective especially if someone is told time and time again that they are the problem. I know compassion can help but it’s an ongoing process.

I think the ongoing SI (I’m safe) is also a form of self protection because it gives a sense of control. Right now I’ve been having more SI than SH urges. The SH urges eased because I feel like I can resist SI. Though SI still pops up for me. I am still struggling to sit with somatic flashbacks. I wish it was easier but it’s still really hard. I can’t seem to wash and clean away the difficult emotions.

The medication has taken the edge off, but they do say changes happen slowly, so I just had to wait and see if it gets any better. I think I need to stabilise before processing. Stability will definitely give me the space to process. I know there is hope things might improve more in the coming weeks. The hopelessness is less intense than before. I do sometimes feel hopeless, but knowing I’ve made progress gives me a bit of hope

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

Shaz51Senior Contributor01 Feb 2026, 3:33 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

Sitting with you @creative_writer

Have you got anything on this week xx

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor01 Feb 2026, 4:32 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@Shaz51 I had a volunteer shift earlier this afternoon, then I took a walk to decompress. We are thinking of going out now to a public event.

I don’t know if going out would be a good thing or not. Going out may distract but going out also means masking. I guess it could be a bit of both.

Do you have much planned for today?

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

tymeModerator01 Feb 2026, 5:50 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

Hey @creative_writer ,

I don't have an answer about how to move on, but for me, rumination didn't help.

Getting out of my comfort zone and trying something different or doing something differently was certainly the start of recovery.

Also, connection with like-minded peers was very healing for me.

Have you ever used Roses in the Ocean?

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor01 Feb 2026, 6:05 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@tyme I don’t want to ruminate, but OCD is strange, no matter how hard you try not to think, you end up doing it. Sometimes you can suppress the thoughts for a while, but they eventually seep through. I try very hard to not think, it’s what I was taught. I was taught I was too sensitive. I learnt to be independent, that worked for so long till it didn’t. I was told I would need to work the SA by myself and I truly believed that for a very long time. I didn’t talk for years and I didn’t think it even happened to me, it felt like the person it happened to was someone else. I want to stop thinking and I try not to think, I even disassociate from my body sometimes just to cope. If I’m disconnected from my body somatic flashback won’t feel as painful, but it numbs the joy in your life too. Suppression is what I’ve known, but if only it was easy to sustain. I’m not attached to the idea of rumination, it doesn’t feel safe, but rather on the contrary, I rather not think at all about it.

I want to build a life for myself. I still do want to go into the mental health sector which was why I was considering doing some study this year. Maybe I’m not ready for a job, volunteering can feel like a lot right now. I’m only dedicating up to 2 hours per week right now because my batteries are running low. I was volunteering up to 4 hours a week before, but since my mental health decline, I had to reduce.

I haven’t heard of Roses in the Ocean

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

tymeModerator01 Feb 2026, 6:16 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

Yes, you're right. The rumination and unhelpful self talk that comes with EDs and OCD can take over. I hope your psych is able to work with some of these thoughts as I can see you really want to 'build a life for yourself' outside these thoughts.

I'm totally mindful that it's not as easy as "Just don't think those thoughts!" so please don't feel I'm discrediting your efforts at all. If anything I know you have been doing whatever you can to improve. And that's massive.

Roses in the Ocean is an org where you can book a conversation with a peer. You can have a look here: https://rosesintheocean.com.au/

@creative_writer

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