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Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor12 Sept 2025, 4:22 pm AEST

Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

I have multiple mental illnesses including Bipolar 2, cptsd, OCD, social anxiety. I’m also neurodivergent, ADHD and ASD. I already have tons of labels and a lot going on. I’m getting assessed for an ED on Monday during my psych appointment, I reckon I meet criteria so I am anticipating another diagnosis. I know it explains my how I’ve been feeling but it’s another label, I hate feeling so broken and feeling like I’m complicated. I know my disordered eating habits are adversely affecting my mental and physical health, I’ve just been in denial for so long and would also get defensive when people commented on my eating habits or asked about them.

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In response to: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor28 Jan 2026, 6:35 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@AlwaysMyself I’m going to try to take a walk now, just had dinner. I’ve had to fight ED thoughts today. The lack of control over my body can trigger those thoughts to become more intense. Maybe some movement might help direct the ED and trauma thoughts to my surroundings. There might be some kitties outside. We also have a lot of greenery in my area.

Poetry can help, but right I’m struggling to find the words. No words can describe the depth of pain and brokenness I’m feeling right now 😔

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

AlwaysMyselfSenior Contributor28 Jan 2026, 6:38 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

Oooh kitties! Yes! I hope you find some on your walk @creative_writer 😍😺.

I can understand that. I don't quite have words for the deep pain inside either; words like "hurt" and "pain" just don't really describe the ache.

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor28 Jan 2026, 7:42 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@AlwaysMyself I managed to spot three kitties, but they all seemed pretty shy and just stared into my soul😹. They were all such adorable babies 😻. When pets are too cute, it’s hard to resist the cute aggression urges. Cats definitely have boundaries and will scratch and bite without hesitation.

It can be super hard to express hurt and pain. I feel like English can fall a bit short. It felt good to get out, but today has just been a rough day. Still feeling pretty low. I don’t think I got good quality sleep despite what my watch says. I don’t even think my watch accounts for deep sleep when calculating quality. I get super high scores but I reckon they are overestimates. Maybe I’ll feel better with a better night sleep

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor28 Jan 2026, 8:37 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

I am tired of feeling this way, so much I can’t verbalise. It feels heavy. I’ve done what I could today to ease the pain, but it still feels so heavy. My body doesn’t feel right nor does it feel like it’s mine

In response to: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

tymeModerator29 Jan 2026, 5:15 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

Hey @creative_writer , I haven't caught up on posts yet, but I wanted to swing past to see how things were going for you.

I've been looking at more matcha and thought of you. T2 have a stainless steel matcha bottle that has a metal whisk in it. I'm thinking of getting it.

How much match powder fo you use per cup? Is it 1/2-1 teaspoon?

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor29 Jan 2026, 5:40 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@tyme I think something triggered me day before yesterday, still in the process of bouncing back from that. I’m not sure what happened, I had appointments with my supports on Tuesday. My psychiatrist wanted to see me earlier to monitor effects of meds and risk. I also saw my psych on the same day. I don’t usually have my pdoc and psych on the same day.

OCD trauma related thoughts got triggered and I know they are not rational but it still stings. I have distressing thoughts that I can’t seem to quieten. You can tell me they’re not true, but how do I convince my brain that there is nothing wrong with me?

A cup of matcha usually includes 1/2-1 teaspoon of matcha. I love mine strong. They usually recommend up to 2 teaspoons a day. I have two cups a day, one in morning and one during the early afternoon.

How are you doing today?

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

tymeModerator29 Jan 2026, 8:19 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

I'm sorry to hear about your trigger. I can see there is ongoing effects of that.

With some of the thoughts, does self-talk help? That is, "What's the worst that came happen?" "What's the chance of it happening?" "Is there greater loss if I don't do it over if I try something?"

I don't know you exact situation, so I'm just giving a few general statements @creative_writer

Last week, you said you were looking into inpatient or community services near you. Did you happen to find anything that sparked an interest?

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor29 Jan 2026, 8:42 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@tyme self talk can help a bit, it’s better than doing nothing. I think I’ve spoken about contamination thoughts before. I get both thoughts of physical and mental contamination. As a whole, my whole family are germaphobes. The thoughts related to germs can feel overwhelming but the mental contamination thoughts are more painful. I get thoughts that “I’ve done something wrong” even though it’s not logical. The mental contamination thoughts are trauma related. I can certainly continue to try to challenge them, but I reckon I’ll need to do the deeper work once I’m more stable. It might be difficult to find peace without doing the more deeper level of work. I know they say trauma survivor often blame themselves to get a sense a control, and I know stigma can have a significant impact on beliefs people develop about themselves. It’s just very hard to not get caught up in the thoughts.

I did discuss the inpatient option with my psych and pdoc. Timing wise, it won’t be realistic to get admitted anytime soon. I would probably be looking mid year if I was going to go ahead with an admission. I decided with my pdoc we will assess how things go for now

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

tymeModerator29 Jan 2026, 8:51 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

Sounds like there's a lot going on for you in terms of the ever increasing thoughts. I hear they are many and can be so powerful. I really hope you find a way that helps you manage these thoughts so that you can have some rest from them @creative_writer

What does your self-care look like for you tonight?

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor29 Jan 2026, 9:30 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@tyme the thoughts can be overwhelming. It’s going to be ongoing process. I also need to follow up with my psych tomorrow because she knows a good EMDR psych. We have been considering EMDR as an option for me since it helped me in the past. My current psych doesn’t use EMDR in her approach.

I’ve just taken my night meds and I’ve had a snack to eat. I’ll start getting ready for bed in a bit, and do my night time skincare.

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