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Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor12 Sept 2025, 4:22 pm AEST

Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

I have multiple mental illnesses including Bipolar 2, cptsd, OCD, social anxiety. I’m also neurodivergent, ADHD and ASD. I already have tons of labels and a lot going on. I’m getting assessed for an ED on Monday during my psych appointment, I reckon I meet criteria so I am anticipating another diagnosis. I know it explains my how I’ve been feeling but it’s another label, I hate feeling so broken and feeling like I’m complicated. I know my disordered eating habits are adversely affecting my mental and physical health, I’ve just been in denial for so long and would also get defensive when people commented on my eating habits or asked about them.

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In response to: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor19 Jan 2026, 9:20 am AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@holdinghope5 I wasn’t able to cry last night, maybe I’ve forgotten how. I just went to go bed and went to sleep. It gave me a break from the thoughts. I find waking up challenging because a surge of thoughts come in. I’m just having breakfast right now. I have tasks that need to be done like meal prep. I want to squeeze a workout in. I guess at this point all I can do is try. I see my psychiatrist tomorrow

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor19 Jan 2026, 4:23 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

I have my psychiatrist appointment tomorrow but I’m afraid of telling him how bad things have gotten. It’s been worse today. SH got worse today because everything felt so overwhelming, but I’m safe. I didn’t know how else to cope with SI. I’ve tried reaching out to a helpline, it wasn’t enough to stop me. I tried other strategies first too. I tried but in the end I stumbled.

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

TollyModerator19 Jan 2026, 4:48 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

hi @creative_writer thank you it takes a lot of strength to reach out, and I can hear how hard it has been for you today but that you are still going ahead and seeking out your psychiatrist tomorrow and you called a help line today. That took a lot of effort and courage. Are there any other safety steps or helpful strategies for keeping safe that you are going to try today? We are just also going to send you a quick check-in email if you can keep your eye out for that, thank you.

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor19 Jan 2026, 5:14 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

Hi @Tolly I’ve responded to the email. The urges are still there but a bit less intense at this moment in time. I’ve been using SH to cope with SI. I think revisiting my safety plan might help. I think it’ll help to focus on what’s keeping me here. I still have a some hope (even though it’s smaller) that it’ll get better and that I have a purpose. Connecting through prayer can help a lot. If the SI is less intense I’m less likely to SH.

I know there are alternatives to SH like ice, cold water, exercise etc if those urges were to become stronger again.

Might try to go through my safety plan and maybe think about if something needs to be changed. Might need to touch base on safety plan with one of my supports. Maybe there is room for improvement.

I know there are always helplines too if I need them.

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor19 Jan 2026, 6:52 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

I've just had a lot happening for me today, I'm in a depressive episode as part of my bipolar, OCD contamination thoughts have also been loud. I'm a survivor of SA, it's hard to not feel ashamed, even though on a logical level I know it doesn't belong to me. It becomes an endless loop. It can feed the SI and SH urges.

TW SI and SH

Content/trigger warning

I may have been lucky today and nothing happened to me, but I know my supports will think the risk is too high with SH today. I've been SH lately, but it hasn't gotten to this level for a while. Last time I did something like this, it sent my pdoc into a panic state. Maybe that's why I'm scared to tell him tomorrow. I know I need to find healthier ways to manage the SI. I've just used SH as a substitute to ease SI urges.

Maybe it's the depression talking, but I get thoughts about how my existence makes no huge difference. Depression tries to justify why it's okay to leave. The only thing keeping me going is my spiritual beliefs. I believe there is purpose in everything and life can get better. That sense of hope has been becoming dimmer, but it is still there. Nothing else keeps me going.

I may have been lucky today and nothing happened to me, but I know my supports will think the risk is too high with SH today. I've been SH lately, but it hasn't gotten to this level for a while. Last time I did something like this, it sent my pdoc into a panic state. Maybe that's why I'm scared to tell him tomorrow. I know I need to find healthier ways to manage the SI. I've just used SH as a substitute to ease SI urges. Maybe it's the depression talking, but I get thoughts about how my existence makes no huge difference. Depression tries to justify why it's okay to leave. The only thing keeping me going is my spiritual beliefs. I believe there is purpose in everything and life can get better. That sense of hope has been becoming dimmer, but it is still there. Nothing else keeps me going.

My mental health has been bad for a while, I don't know what else to do. I'm still trying to figure out what to do next that will support me. I don't know how I'm going to get to the point I'm more stabilised and out of "trying to stay safe" phase. Sometimes it is hard knowing what change needs to happen

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

Ru-beeModerator19 Jan 2026, 7:20 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

Hey @creative_writer

I'm hearing how difficult things are right now, and that so much of your energy is being spent on staying safe right now. I imagine that would be exhausting, especially when there's no clear end date to this phase - but like you've mentioned here, just believing that there will be an end to this difficult period and being able to feel that hope in the dark times is a huge strength, even if this hope is a bit quieter at the moment.

I understand that being open with your pdoc about your SH would be nerve-wracking considering they had a panicked reaction last time. Are you feeling that you'll be able to tell them about what happened when you see him tomorrow, even though it is scary?

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor19 Jan 2026, 7:37 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@Ru-bee it’s hard not knowing when it’ll get easier. Waiting is hard. I hope that I am at least about to get some relief soon. Being this low means triggers also feel more intense. You may be able to minimise triggers, but sometimes they are so unexpected. Trauma isn’t enough on its own to trigger SI, but it can leave me on edge if I’m already very low.

I know it’ll be wise to tell my pdoc how bad it got today, it will be difficult. I know he has to assess risk so we can come up with a plan. I’m still very anxious about it

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor20 Jan 2026, 10:48 am AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

Hey @AlwaysMyself how are you?

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

AlwaysMyselfSenior Contributor20 Jan 2026, 4:14 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

Hi @creative_writer , had a busy morning and weekend. A little swamped with a few long-replies I need (want) to do on the forums - including to you! 😊 Trying to slowly work my way through them between other life commitments and balancing down-time for myself, esp after my difficult weekend.

I will try to start reading the post since I was last on and see where I have been tagged, and might reply in a few separate posts so please don't feel I am ignoring you or things that have been said -- I'm still just catching up. But I will be logging off the forum in about 45min, and need to do a few of these "I'm still here, i'm just backlogged" posts lol. Please do still continue to tag me and tell me how things are going though 😊

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

AlwaysMyselfSenior Contributor20 Jan 2026, 4:17 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@creative_writer How did the appointment with the pdoc go today? Were you able to tell them about the SH and SI? And if so, how did they react?

Sending hugs if you would like them.

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