@creative_writer
Reading one of your posts yesterday, it is encouraging to hear that your spiritual beliefs are a really protective factor for you. As such, I'd like to copy some of what you said just as a reminder for you today, in case it helps. I really loved your insight in it.
there is this concept that people are born for a purpose and everything happens for a reason. I may not see the reason behind the suffering right now. ... Maybe one day I’ll understand and realise the true purpose. If I left, I would never know.
Re: therapy progress
Progress and stagnation and even declines through therapy is very normal, especially with complex MH @creative_writer *big safe hugs*. And especially at the moment whilst you are in survival mode!
If it helps any, as an example, I started with a counsellor 5 months ago (after not having a regular one for over a decade). I picked her because she is very experienced in trauma. I see her weekly (even over Christmas, we altered out schedule so that it would only be a 1.5 week gap!) - except when I was overseas for a few weeks. If I travel domestically - I do telehealth still. 5 months I've been seeing her. Whilst my plan was to talk about the trauma and some support for my SI, until now we have only even mentioned trauma in 2 sessions! We have not done any work on it directly yet. Why? Because I have had "bigger fish to fry" with supporting my SI. and that is totally OK! I know she sometimes wonders if she is helping - because often its me talking over how I feel and thoughts I can't tell to others -- but it totally does help me cope with each week having that person to talk to (and I tell her that 😊). Today was the first time I've been able to actually say to her (since my introductory email which I used to see if she would be a good fit for working on trauma and OK with the topic of chronic SI) that I want to work on trauma-related topics. After 5 months!!! 😂
Re: inpatient MH private hospital
Anxiety is understandable - not "stupid". 😊.
I have also heard a lot of "horror stories" from people in public MH wards; I think the stories I have heard are from involuntary admissions though - unless the negative part was the bed-neighbour's behaviours. When I asked a peer worker (in an SI support group) about this trend of traumatic experiences in MH wards, they said alot of what they have seen/heard is the shock and also how some police "deal with" MH situations (prior to or whilst waiting at the hospital), and in terms of the wards/nurses themselves, it's often that when the person has calmed down they are sometimes still waiting for the pdoc to come to do the assessment to determine if they can be released - and that this can take hours to happen.
Hearing this makes me feel much more "comfortable" myself with the idea of a private hospital and voluntary admission - it's an option for me too if my SI worsens in the coming months.
I'm not sure where you live or which hospitals are an option, but there is one in Greater Western Sydney that I have only ever heard really good things about. I knew someone with bipolar and SI that went there in the past, and someone else more recently mentioned that they also had a good experience there too (with a trauma background).
I wonder whether finding which ones around you that are options are the most positive review/reputations? Doesn't mean you are deciding to do an IP stay - but to know which one you WOULD choose if you DID decide to.
I read that you do some volunteer work. 😊 Can I ask what? (But its OK to say no - esp for your privacy!) Appologies if I have been told before and have forgotten 😬.
I have done youth mentoring as a volunteer (20 weeks per year) for the past 3 years.
I am glad to read that you've been able to reduce the hours of it whilst you are exhausted and in 'survival mode' - that sounds a really healthy thing to do, to not overwhelm you.
Does the volunteer work help you feel connected to people, or provide meaning?
@Jynx I saw the photo of the cat and thought for a moment "is that your cat??" then read that is wasn't. What a stunning cutie though 😍 and so friendly to strangers?! Sweet!!
@creative_writer coconut is so cute! What a great name! And "samosa" lol Love the name! Do you name them all after foods? Or just a coincidence?
Re: truama therapy options
I don't know much about different trauma therapies - although I know a little about EMDR because of a family friend who was/is a practitioner in it (I also worked for them for a bit as a receptionist when they needed an extra helper).
However I have been told there are trauma therapies that do not require talking about the trauma directly or reliving it.
I experienced trauma in childhood, but I only have two "memories" - both of which are like a "photograph" snapshot in my mind (not a video), and I don't recall how I felt or what I thought or any other context beyond that snapshot image! All I know is what when I think about it I feel really uncomfortable and squirm - egh! (shudder). For me, "reliving" it really isn't possible because I don't remember or connect emotionally to it enough (it's how my mind protected me). But I have been told there are ways it can be healed without this. 😊.
@AuntGlow is my go-to on the forums when I have questions about trauma or trauma-therapy. 😊
I wonder if you could see both your current psych (for continued support) and an EMDR therapist? Alternate between the two for sessions perhaps?
But, you don't have to think or decide on that now! As you say - stabilising first 😊.
Lastly - happy distraction topic 😉
I love 😍 foreign films! Yes, i prefer original audio with subtitles too!! Plus - they were the best movies to go with my Deaf friends because *guaranteed subtitles for the dialogue*. Open-caption sessions were really rare, and many cinemas back then didn't have the closed-caption devices (plus a lot of my friends wouldn't use them because of the difficulty reading them then looking at the screen after, like a game of tennis and missing half the visuals!)
...although once, a film had some interactions with Aid Workers who spoke in English, so then I had to interpret to my friend in the dark cinema 😂 - not ideal lighting lol.
