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Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor12 Sept 2025, 4:22 pm AEST

Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

I have multiple mental illnesses including Bipolar 2, cptsd, OCD, social anxiety. I’m also neurodivergent, ADHD and ASD. I already have tons of labels and a lot going on. I’m getting assessed for an ED on Monday during my psych appointment, I reckon I meet criteria so I am anticipating another diagnosis. I know it explains my how I’ve been feeling but it’s another label, I hate feeling so broken and feeling like I’m complicated. I know my disordered eating habits are adversely affecting my mental and physical health, I’ve just been in denial for so long and would also get defensive when people commented on my eating habits or asked about them.

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In response to: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor15 Jan 2026, 4:17 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@AlwaysMyself historical fiction can be interesting, especially in foreign countries. You have to thank translation services available for TV shows with subtitles. I prefer reading the subtitles than voice overs.

The thing is I’ve had my trauma minimised so many times, I sort of expect it now. I know many people struggle to sit with it and may suggest it wasn’t so bad. It feels awful, feeling it in my body over and over again. I don’t know how to heal. My psych suggested EMDR since it’s been so hard to talk about it. She would have to refer me to someone else for that since she doesn’t do it herself. She’s more of an exposure therapist. I just don’t know how exposure would work right now. I’m too scared to talk about details over and over again. I’ve only ever been able to discuss it in general terms.

@AuntGlow self talk is hard, but I suppose it’s a skill that’ll take time. It feels fake, but I probably just need repetition.

Medical stuff is hard especially when it triggers trauma. I’m very sensitive to physical touch. I’ve had my physical body violated in the past which makes it hard.

The thing with EMDR is that you don’t even need to talk about the details of the trauma in order to heal. I’m finding the detail part tricky. Though it would require seeing another psych.

@AlwaysMyself @AuntGlow I think first step would be stabilising. Any trauma work could make me go south with where I’m at

In response to: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

JynxModerator15 Jan 2026, 6:43 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

Hiya @creative_writer 😊

Yeah agreed re sleeping too much. Definitely leaves me feeling even more groggy and low mood if I oversleep, but I think it makes sense that it feels like it's a way you can protect yourself right now.

Aww kitties!! I love how you keep track of all the resident cats in your neighbourhood. Was one of them named samosa, am I recalling that correctly?

I met this incredibly cute grey kitty the other day - super striking eyes!! I took a screenshot of one of the videos I took, this cat was SO FRIENDLY like, kept following me and rubbing up against me, I was smitten for this kitten!

I hope that they're able to help get the meds balance right. Sometimes I wish I could 'snap out of' certain moods and mental spaces, but for me it's always taken time and effort to actually see change. I hope you're not setting yourself up for a lot of internal pressure to suddenly 'be okay' or 'be recovered'...

Hope you've had a chill Thursday. Mine's been ok, cooked up some bolognese sauce for dinner tonight and been doing a bunch of training. And getting yelled at by my cats haha so business as usual! 😋

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor15 Jan 2026, 7:23 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@Jynx sleeping too much can leave you feeling exhausted and low. I’ve made it to like 14 hours in the past. I was definitely depressed when I slept that much. It’s hard to see change when I have limited energy to engage in behavioural stuff. That’s why my psych thinks that things need to get changed up. I’m not progressing in therapy right now. She wants meds to be looked at and she also wants me to consider whether EMDR would be a better option than exposure and behavioural therapy. She can refer me to someone who uses EMDR. I’ve been really struggling to put the work in therapy because I’m on survival mode. Staying safe is hard. Survival mode drains my batteries, and I don’t have a suitable charger. I’m a phone that constantly dies out. I feel bad, but I don’t know what to do. I feel lazy and useless. You know trauma has been hard for me to talk about, EMDR is easier on talking. I said I would think about it, but I’m starting to wonder whether talk therapy is the best thing for me. I know I need to stabilise the depressive episode, SH and SI before diving into trauma. I’ve been able to make it so far without SH today, will see if I can make it without it today. I couldn’t help but give in yesterday. I’m resisting SI for now. My psych wants to touch base after my pdoc appointment. I’m pretty torn about the private inpatient stay, I know my psych wants my meds optimised and thinks it’s easier done in inpatient because it minimises risk.

I think there is a lot of stigma around meds. People think you can think yourself out of mental illness. I’ve been on bipolar meds for more than a decade now. I don’t know how I could get off them. They have been life saving in the past, just not so effective right now.

I’ve had an exhausting one. I had my psych appointment today, did my workout this morning. Haven’t done much today.

Bolognese sounds delicious. I need to do some meal prep tomorrow. I also need to force myself to shower tomorrow. Cats are cats, they think they are boss 😂.

Here is coco (short for coconut). It’s an old photo, she was super scared and shy. We did name a cat aloo samosa, he is a character and likes having girlfriends and is a weird orange cat. The grey kitty looks so cute and adorable, eyes are so pretty 💖

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

tymeModerator15 Jan 2026, 7:35 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

Hey @creative_writer ,

Good to see you.

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor15 Jan 2026, 7:41 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

Hi @tyme nice to see you too. How are you?

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

tymeModerator15 Jan 2026, 7:57 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

Getting back into the swing of things I guess. Still trying to get my sleep back to normal 🙂

What have you been up to? Have you been doing your volunteering work @creative_writer ?

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor15 Jan 2026, 8:14 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@tyme I feel like getting sleep back to normal is a job in itself.

I don’t know if you noticed I was away from the forums for a bit. I went away for a while and got back in the new year. I got a bout of the sniffles while away, I’m doing a ton better, my GP said it might take a while to get back to normal, I’m not physically normal yet but getting closer. I haven’t been mentally the best so I’ve cut down my hours for volunteering. I’m still volunteering, 2 hours feels more doable right than 4 hours per week. I also took a bit of a break while away. I don’t want to empty my cup too much, especially with how bad my MH has been. I’m trying to work through it, walking on the thin thread of hope. I’ve been keeping my days light because living in crisis mode is exhausting. I’ve been utilising self care and my safety plan.

Did you get up to much during the break? 😊

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

tymeModerator15 Jan 2026, 8:34 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

I actually didn't notice you were away because I've been away for 5 weeks! I only just came back on board yesterday! That's why I'm so lost!

At least you are still doing a few hours. I hope you get fuller better. Do you think you'll be looking for work this year? Or do you have plans to do something else? @creative_writer

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

JynxModerator15 Jan 2026, 8:39 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@creative_writer Just wanna remind you of this gem of a quote hun -

If it were laziness, you'd be enjoying yourself. Nothing lazy or useless about the work you're doing - to survive, and to figure out how to take those steps forward.

I think inpatient could be super helpful, even in terms of being a circuit-breaker. How would that go with your family though? I know it's hard to make those choices when you also feel like their reactions could make things very difficult...

Aww Coco is so cute!! Little gutter kitty ahaha. 😻

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor15 Jan 2026, 9:01 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@tyme I left around 12th of December. I came back just after new year. Maybe our away time overlapped. I was thinking about whether I should study, I don’t know if I’m ready for work right now. At least not till I’m more well. Won’t hurt to get more mental health based study.

It’s hard getting back into it all after being away. I went on shift on the weekend and it felt so weird. I couldn’t form proper sentences. Thankfully it was text service, it bought me some time to think. Do you find changes in routine nerve wrecking too? Did you get up to much during your break?

@Jynx I’m trying to resist the SH today. My mum said is it a spiritually significant night today, I want to focus more of my energy on prayer. It’ll help me keep myself alive. People often misunderstand and think spirituality protects because suicide is a sin. It’s much more than that, there is this concept that people are born for a purpose and everything happens for a reason. I may not see the reason behind the suffering right now. It’s painful. It feels like I’m holding onto a very thin rope. Maybe one day I’ll understand and realise the true purpose. If I left, I would never know. I’m still very torn, thoughts are strong, but it’s enough to keep me going right now.

Inpatient will have a wait, but my psych think it won’t hurt to be on the waitlist. If things change, I don’t have to go ahead. It will be difficult with family. Especially since they believe that the mental health system is so broken and they’re afraid of CTOs and lack of control. They have black and white thinking about the MH system; especially my mum. My mum has intense separation anxiety and I’m sure she’ll do anything in her power to not be separated.

That photo was taken in September, she has grown since. We don’t see her often. She is still a smol bean and very shy.

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