Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@AlwaysMyself I've made it through so far, only a bit longer to go.

Stability is the most important now. There is a lot happening for me right now. I have trauma and I have my ED too, but I haven't been able to talk about either in much depth lately. ED is also very intertwined with life feeling out of control, with both my mental health and trauma. I've just been working with my dietician on getting nutrition up. it was also hard keeping intake the same when sick and when on holidays. I also have a sensitive gut and eating out on holidays was hard on my body. My dietician is keeping an eye on me for now but isn't overly concerned right now. I can keep my exercise routine as it is for now.

I spoke to my GP today, he doesn't want me to lose hope. It's hard having hope, it does help to have people around to encourage you. We will wait and see what the psychiatrist says next week.

I may be a bit better today than yesterday. Yesterday was rough, maybe the trauma content didn't help. I managed a walk, feeling a bit lightheaded so will rest up now.

@AlwaysMyself I am a poet, I started writing a poem about intergenerational trauma, I haven't finished it yet, it's been a slow journey. My brain is quite foggy, I feel low and I'm struggling with inspiration. My mental health has played a role in inspiring many of my poems, but I have also gotten inspiration from other places. I've written fiction before, mostly short pieces, but I haven't written fiction for a while. I do want to get into it again.

I wish it was easier to hold onto hope when holding on feels so painful. I guess I’ll just need to accept that surviving is all I can do until I figure out what needs to happen next. I’m safe

Hello lovely,

I am leaving soon, but just wanted to check-in. @creative_writer

I know today is feeling quite vulnerable for you and I am sure being sick has made things feel that much more exhausting. Please remember to be gentle with where you're at, okay?

How would a self-soothing inner-child meditation feel for you tonight? 💛

@AuntGlow being sick doesn’t help, not feeling great physically. My GP said it can take a while for it to settle.

I could try self talk with my inner child

It can, can't it? @creative_writer 😣

Do you find peppermint or ginger tea soothing?

What could you say to your inner child tonight? 💖

PS: I will be back on Thursday to talk more then.

@AuntGlow telling my inner child it’s not my fault that things have been rough. I think I’ve internalised living with mental health.

Peppermint and ginger can feel soothing. Love having them in tea.

Today has been hard. Had to do a medical test and it didn’t feel okay. I know I was in control, and the doctor let me do the test myself but still didn’t feel okay. It may have contributed to the spiral I got into today. I took a shower afterwards, and will try other self care. I’m just tired

Hey @creative_writer I hear things have been really rough for you this week hun.

How are you feeling since the doc appt? Tests and examinations can feel so invasive and leave us feeling quite fragile.

Just wanna say I see how much effort you're putting into holding on and staying connected with us here, and wanted to commend you for that. It may not feel like it but you really are doing amazing.

What other self-care have you been able to do today?

@Jynx I was trying to avoid that appointment for a while for a reason but I was experiencing discomfort. I’m a bit triggered, been trying to manage with self care. It all feels amplified with how my life has been.

It takes a lot of effort to survive. I can talk to my psych more about it on Thursday. I managed to get a sooner appointment with my psych. I have my pdoc next week too.

I’ve been focusing on prayers, don’t want what else to lean into right now.

I’m coping for now, even though sometimes it’s not the best coping. I’m still surviving. I’m on the edge, but it’s almost the end of the day, I’ll be in bed around 10:30 and hopefully my evening meds will make things a bit easier. I’ll be taking them soon.

I hope you are well 💖

@Jynx i know you’re off the forums now. I hope you sleep well tonight💖. Just about to go to bed, I’ll be safe in bed. I’ve had a lot of dark thoughts tonight