Sorry for late reply after-the-fact @creative_writer , I had gone out to visit someone in the afternoon/evening.
I do think there is support available for you, "even someone this low". Sadly though its not always available free ☹️. I am glad you have a psych and pdoc - do they know how low and hard things are for you currently?
I like your idea of calling to see if you can get a sooner appt with your psych. If they can't, nothing lost in asking. Maybe they could even try to schedule you weekly for a little while to help with extra support during this stage?
I find the helplines can be good for short-term help with regulation or support when i want to talk about the feelings and get them out. But that for me its not a lasting help that changes how I feel or think underneath the surface.
Being sick could also be another stressor factor for feeling low. I know for me that being sick, being exhausted, and being in physical pain are my 3 biggest triggers for my mood. But sometimes i also have low/dark moods and thoughts without any trigger too.
I hear you mention there has been a lot of past trauma and flashbacks. Is this something your psych helps you with working on (slowly at your pace)?
I think trauma is one of those hard things where its hard because it can bring up so much feelings and triggers to work on, but sometimes without doing that it is so hard to shift the underlying emotions and beliefs attached.
My current counsellor i picked because she has worked a lot with trauma. We haven't talked much about my traumatic experiences (4 months so far?) but we touch on it briefly at times. Slowly slowly.
I know @AuntGlow has a big interest and knowledge in somatic healing. Recently they mentioned elsewhere about some hip-yoga exercises that can help release emotions sometimes. If that is something you would be interested to try (if not already mentioned before, sorry if it has been!) I could go find the link and post it here for you too. 😊
