Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@creative_writer Just caught up on the posts since the other day. I completely support your goal to "reduce" as a realistic and sustainable goal. How did you go yesterday? So far today?

I really liked your idea of calling a line before rather than after - I hope that can be helpful as an additional tool to help de-escalate without feeling that SH is the only option. More tools in the toolbox to try.

I agree with @Jynx about supporting friends. I always wish a friend would call me if they are not doing OK so I can be there for them -- even if it's multiple times a week. But I also myself have that hesitation to reach out to friends for support too! Even though I know I want to be there for my friends if roles were reversed. One way I have been able to try to increase my ability to reach out is to just send a very general message of "are you busy?" or "do you have anything on tonight?" -- that makes me feel better, because I don't want them to cancel plans to support me, so it's a way I can sus out first 😉. Those who have the time/willing often message back asking if I'm OK -- which then opens to door to saying that I'm "not great" or something. I don't even have to be specific. But it also gives THEM the choice of how much they want to engage with supporting me at that time. But if I don't reach out at all -- they would not have that option at all either.

I have to go - being picked up for a coffee by a friend myself!

One day is still progress @creative_writer - no need to shame yourself for being where you're at right now. Progress can feel agonisingly slow when it's day by day, but it doesn't mean that this is a failure - just a setback. You're not stupid hun, and telling yourself that you are may just add to that shame spiral. To my eyes, you're nothing short of being a warrior, pushing through an unseen battle like this is actually incredible.

When you're feeling more grounded you could possibly try to reflect on what worked, and what ended up pushing you over the edge, and seeing if there's anything you can do to extend that time out a bit further. Maybe you made it 20 hours this time, and tomorrow you might make it 21 hours - that's still progress. Progress can also be one step forward two steps back sometimes, but it doesn't mean you're not still learning more each time you resist.

You got this, and we got you 💜

Thanks for letting us know you're safe, and that you have things in place to turn to for support if you need @creative_writer. I'm sorry that it's feeling this hopeless, I know my words alone may not be enough to change that but please know I am holding onto hope for you, even on the days you can't find it. Hugs my friend, hope you get some restful sleep tonight 💜

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

@Jynx it's hard because I feel like I can reach out for support and talk about it but the pain remains stuck to me. I'm not even sure what I need. I need to get it out but not sure how. Being physically unwell isn't helping, I feel a bit faint. I'm going to try to take a shower today.

I know I have to wait a bit longer till I see my supports. It's hard to sit with the discomfort, but I know it's what I need to do. I just hope I see change soon because I've been holding on for a while and haven't seen much change happening. I think lack of change and life no longer feeling as pleasurable has fed those hopeless thoughts. I'm just taking it moment by moment.

The support on the forums has been amazing, can't thank everyone enough 💖

@creative_writer Did ya make it into the shower?

I get that you're feeling really stuck. I wish I had answers for you, I know it is incredibly frustrating to feel like one is doing the right things but seeing no change. I think in my experience, sometimes this means we need to try bigger changes, and sometimes it means the changes are happening too slowly to really notice.

Hope you are surviving the heat okay!!