Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

Hi @creative_writer 👋
I’m just catching up with my tags and was wondering if you’d like me to share a bit more about the dive reflex? (Absolutely no pressure 😊) Thanks so much for the tag @AlwaysMyself 🙏

A bit of background on why I’ve mentioned it previously on the forum. One of my SH methods was to achieve a “complete reset”. It was effective, which is why I kept going back to it, but I also knew it wasn’t a healthy coping strategy. At the time, it served a purpose because I didn’t have any other healthy coping strategy that could give me that “complete reset” that I was looking for. A break from highly intense feelings.

I’ve been in and out of therapy most of my life, and it was only last year that I was told about the ‘dive reflex’. It’s been the only thing that has truly matched that feeling of a “complete reset” I used to get from my previous unhealthy coping strategy.

I really wish I’d known about it earlier. Although I haven’t shared much of my story here on the forum, I hope by sharing this, it might help someone else too 💜

When you type it into Google, it can seem a bit confusing 😜, so I’m very happy to keep chatting about the dive reflex if you’re interested, but there’s absolutely no pressure, you need to focus on what works for you 🙏

SH was my story for many years. It’s become less over time, and even though this was something I hoped for back then, I never truly believed I’d be able to stop. I get it, it serves a purpose when all other healthy coping strategies haven’t worked. But please don’t lose hope, SH can definitely become less, or even become part of your history. That’s what I hope for you. You’ve got this,

Take care 💛

@Jynx

@creative_writer first off some hugs

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

I am sorry to hear you're also unwell hun, definitely a compounding factor hey. I also wonder - I think for a lot of folks who SH, the shame and social stigma surrounding using SH can itself become a trigger, leading to a knock-on effect. Often after SH, those shame feelings can then contribute to a resurgence of the SH urges, resulting in a cycle that can be difficult to break out of. I imagine fearing the reaction of your family members could be a bit like that for you?

I'm also a firm believer in the harm-minimisation approach like @AlwaysMyself - especially for those of us who struggle with perfectionist tendencies or a harsh inner critic. And since shame can be such a huge trigger for SH, reducing the pressure to 'get it right' is likely gonna be more sustainable as an approach in the long-term.

I had to google the dive reflex thing @Chasingsunsets but it's so fascinating!! From what I could find, it's like shoving your face into cold/freezing water? Might have to give that a try next time I'm in meltdown-land... 😋

Really appreciate you sharing your experiences! 🙏

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@creative_writer wrote:
@AuntGlow @Jynx I’m back from my break. Went on holidays, site seeing was breathtaking. Sort of wish I enjoyed it more, but I guess depression dampens joy. I hope you have both been well and the new year has been kinder 💖

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Good evening @creative_writer!

Welcome back. 🥰

I understand that feeling very well... I know it might be hard to fully connect to what was enjoyable, but how did you feel when you took in the sites and noticed they were breathtaking? And what little moments made you smile or feel grounded? I would love to hear more about your holiday overall.

@creative_writer oh noooo hope it's nothing too serious!! Coughing can be so exhausting too, like it involves so many gut muscles contracting and can make the throat very sore indeed. Hopefully your antibiotics kick this sickness to the curb!

Is this friend someone you feel you don't need to mask so much around? I'm the same with my mum, she's a good woman and means well, but she's never really been one of my supports, you know? Having to hide everything from your family would be quite exhausting I imagine.

@creative_writer so rough, fingers crossed for a swift recovery 🤞

Totally get you on that guilt feeling. Something I try to remind myself of, is that it feels good when I help people and it feels good to be able to support my loved ones - so allowing others to support me means they get the chance to feel those good feelings. Not always easy when I'm feeling some kinda way and my brain isn't exactly swimming in logic, but it does help. Have also had friends and loved ones get kinda upset with me when I don't tell them I've been struggling, cos they sorta end up saying 'Why didn't you tell me, I would have been there for you in a heartbeat!' and stuff like that. I think it can help build that sense of trust too, it can feel really good to be relied upon.

Definitely gotta pick your safe people and pick your moments though, cos yeah some folks are either stuck in stigma, or have their own unhealed wounds that can come spilling out - and it's even harder when it's family hey.

Hey there @creative_writer 😊, how’s your flu going? Hope you are feeling better today!

That’s awesome you have been SH free before, I definitely hear you re “less often than eliminate” as your realistic goal and what everyone has mentioned here about harm minimisation 🙏

I agree there is a lot of stigma around SH, it’s not that well understood hey. It’s nice to hear you have been able to talk about it with your friend and your psych.

Yesss @Jynx I have found it all so interesting to read about! Could talk about it for ages 😊. I use an ice pack, under the eyes across sinuses (forehead and back of neck are other options as-well from what I read re ice pack placement). The only thing to cover is there are a few considerations re health and if any heart conditions as an example then it isn’t advisable etc. Thanks re my story, I am interested in your story also, would love to hear, when timing/place is right, definitely no pressure, has been really good chatting with you on the forum 😊

Yess how good @creative_writer, many uses for ice packs 😎

I hope you get better soon as you said you have been sick for a while now.
Thinking of you, take it easy 🙏