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Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor12 Sept 2025, 4:22 pm AEST

Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

I have multiple mental illnesses including Bipolar 2, cptsd, OCD, social anxiety. I’m also neurodivergent, ADHD and ASD. I already have tons of labels and a lot going on. I’m getting assessed for an ED on Monday during my psych appointment, I reckon I meet criteria so I am anticipating another diagnosis. I know it explains my how I’ve been feeling but it’s another label, I hate feeling so broken and feeling like I’m complicated. I know my disordered eating habits are adversely affecting my mental and physical health, I’ve just been in denial for so long and would also get defensive when people commented on my eating habits or asked about them.

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In response to: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

JynxModerator05 Dec 2025, 5:17 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@creative_writer wrote:
@AuntGlow the event gave some tips of managing distress from a spiritual perspective. I've been finding slowing my breathing during prayer to be more effective than doing either alone. It probably makes it easier to focus. Can't really take spirituality out of mental health.

Spirituality is different for everyone, having purpose and meaning helps.

This is so cool @creative_writer! What else did you learn?

How's your week been?

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor05 Dec 2025, 6:05 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@Jynx the speaker is a psychiatrist and has lots of mental health experience in the community. I feel like culture adds another layer into the picture when it comes with mental health.

I found it validating when she spoke about stigma. Stigma is purely cultural and has no spiritual basis. People also talk about mental illness= lack of faith, which is far from the truth. Many spiritual figures have been tested with pain and hardship. Even how society views crying as weakness is ridiculous. Still not sure how to unlearn crying= weakness. Years of bullying has put me off crying, even though I really do need to let it out sooner rather than later. I’ve been rather teary lately. I feel like I’m eventually going to break down during an inconvenient moment.

She provided us with spiritual tips, prayers can be powerful. She also encouraged people to seek therapy if they require it. She even normalised meds and stated that they may be necessary for some people. She said it’s even encouraged from a religious perspective to seek support.

I’ve been reflecting, I think my parents put my sister off from therapy.

It’s been a rough week since I’m still super depressed. I’ve had regular SI since last month, I’m hoping I can somehow reduce the occurrence, but for now I need to take it moment by moment and try to stay safe. I’ve tried reaching out for support here and there with helplines, it was hard, but it’s been a struggle. Everything feels amplified because of depression, even flashbacks hit harder and make the SI worse. I’ll touch base with my psychologist on Monday and might need to adjust safety plan. I’m hoping it settles, but I don’t see a way yet. I know I can also get an earlier appointment with my pdoc if needed.

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

JynxModerator05 Dec 2025, 8:19 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

Sounds like a super validating experience @creative_writer!

It's soooo hard to untangle ourselves from the stigma around crying hey. I used to think I was weak too, cos I always cry so much and so quickly.

Maybe it's about giving yourself permission to cry? To say to yourself (aloud is best) like, it's okay for me to cry, it's the most human thing in the world, it isn't a reflection of my strength or resilience but a reflection of how heavy things are right now'. It's hard cos we can't really express 'logic' to those base parts of ourselves.

This lil comic helped me -

Glad to hear you're seeing your psych on Monday. Anything planned between now and then?

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor05 Dec 2025, 8:42 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@Jynx the speaker completely validated tears. Shed more tears than I wanted this evening, but I couldn’t stop them. I knew the tears were coming. Reaching out to a helpline was pretty overwhelming, but I was struggling. When the SI (I’m safe) feels strong, what else are you meant to do? Too much pain in my heart.

I don’t have much planned for the weekend, there is a social event, but I’m not up to going. My cup is empty and can’t deal with sensory overload and masking. It would’ve been okay if the friend I trusted was there. I only really have one friend I can talk to. I know I could reach out to her, but I’ve been so hesitant.

Probably lots of self care. I’m going to try to remain physically active, I think that helps. Do you have much planned for this weekend?

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

JynxModerator05 Dec 2025, 9:04 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@creative_writer Sounds like it really moved you, shifted something that allowed you that space to cry. Amazing. I know it doesn't fix anything but it's still progress hun 💜

In my experience, our loved ones tend to prefer to know when we're struggling, so they have the opportunity to help if they can. I used to think I was protecting people by hiding my pain, but time and again... 'Why didn't you tell me?!'

It can be hard if we know our loved ones have a lot on their own plates. But sometimes being able to support someone else gives us a bit of respite from supporting ourselves, and can even give us renewed energy. What do you think is holding you back from talking to your friend?

Bit of cleaning, then hanging with ma forums fam! I have a house inspection coming up... I swear they just came round!

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor05 Dec 2025, 9:25 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@Jynx maybe it’s progress, or at least the start of progress. I did feel uncomfortable with my tears, I just had to let them out, I didn’t have the energy to prevent them. I was tired.

It’s probably me not wanting to burden her. I know she would be there. I’m okay if she doesn’t respond straight away, but I know she will respond. She has had SI before too, and has had her own struggles. She is the anxious type. Also the empathic type. We meet each other during my SW course. She also understands cultural pressure from her own lived experience.
It probably doesn’t surprise you why we get along.

I need to sort through my clothes. Need to find my winter stuff, including my winter socks. Feels like a lot of effort, but needs to be done. I hope the cleaning goes okay 💖

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

JynxModerator05 Dec 2025, 9:47 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@creative_writer I am glad that you're seeing it in this way hun - feels like progress to me!

She sounds like a good friend, someone who would be non-judgemental. I hope you find the words, if it ends up feeling like the right thing for you to do, to let her know where you're at.

Omg same, my 'clothes to be hung up' pile is now taking up way too much space 😩 And there's probably a few items that could get scooted and booted to a charity bin... one thing at a time eh?

Hope you have a restful night 💜

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor06 Dec 2025, 12:10 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@Jynx she is a good friend, I struggle to find those friends, but I know they exist. One good friend is better than multiple superficial friends. There is still a lot I haven't told her about my mental health, but I am naturally guarded, it's hard to let that go.

I haven't gotten up to much so far, had a workout session this morning. I have things to do but I am too exhausted to get up right now. Need some time to slow down. Trying to sit with emotional and physical discomfort while l listen to music. Holding to my faith, because there must be a way out, right? I'm not sure how I've made it this far and how I continue to stay alive despite chronic SI for the last month. I don't know how I am staying safe right now.

I hope you've had a chill and restful evening 💖. I slept okay, though I sort of feel like my watch overestimates how much I actually sleep

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

JynxModerator06 Dec 2025, 4:47 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@creative_writer agreed, finding people who we can vibe with, who share our values and can relate to how we are in the world, it's a precious thing!

I think if anything, it speaks to your resilience, perseverance, and most of all to your faith. Holding to the belief that your story is far from over, even on the days when it feels like you'll be stuck forever.

Of course, if you ever want some help with safety planning and stuff, the community is here for you hun 💜

In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

creative_writerSenior Contributor06 Dec 2025, 5:19 pm AEDT

Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@Jynx it's hard finding those people, maybe I need to look in other places. Socialising often leaves me feeling drained instead of energised, it's different when you are able to connect with others.

The thing is I don't know what is on the other side of pain. I don't think I'm ready to wrap my story.

TW Suicide

Content/trigger warning

I was referred to HOPE a few years ago after developing heavy suicidal thoughts. HOPE helped me de-escalate the situation so I didn't get to the stage of an attempt, I just need that extra support at the time. I created a safety plan with them, it's pretty similar to what you can find on the Beyond Blue/Lifeline safety plan app. It had different sections like reasons to live, coping strategies, warning signs, making environment safe, contact numbers, people to connect with. I am wondering whether something needs updating because things got rough last week and I felt like the safety plan didn't do what it was meant to. I'm not sure if it was because I refused to reach out for support even though I logically knew I should have. I probably could've used my PRN to slow my brain down. Maybe some tweaks need to be made, I need to remember to send it to my psych as I have an appointment with her on Monday. To be honest, I didn't even refer to my safety plan during the Friday episode last week.

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