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Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)
I have multiple mental illnesses including Bipolar 2, cptsd, OCD, social anxiety. I’m also neurodivergent, ADHD and ASD. I already have tons of labels and a lot going on. I’m getting assessed for an ED on Monday during my psych appointment, I reckon I meet criteria so I am anticipating another diagnosis. I know it explains my how I’ve been feeling but it’s another label, I hate feeling so broken and feeling like I’m complicated. I know my disordered eating habits are adversely affecting my mental and physical health, I’ve just been in denial for so long and would also get defensive when people commented on my eating habits or asked about them.
In response to: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)
JynxModerator
Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)
@creative_writer Something that might become easier as you work through other stuff mayhap!
Yeah soaking up some sunshine today has been so lovely. How's your day been? ADHD fairies after you today?
In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)
@Jynx maybe I do need to work through other stuff. Learning to feel safe expressing my emotions will be a process.
Soaking sun can be lovely, as long as it’s not too much sun. My day has been a bit easier than yesterday, I think I need to give myself time to process. I went out today, didn’t eat out with my family, but I got out. My stomach is sort of sensitive, I’m also eating smaller meals, but they’re more regular. My bipolar meds knock me out too well so sleep hasn’t been as much of an issue (as long as I take my meds), brain fog isn’t fun. I’m taking saffron supplements alongside my meds for ADHD (since my pdoc isn’t recommending ADHD meds for me rn) and depression. It helps a bit, but it’s still early days. I think regardless of whether you take meds and/or supplements, ADHD brain will always start ADHDing during the most inconvenient times.
In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)
JynxModerator
Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)
@creative_writer oh for sure that is a huge mood - when those executives wanna dysfunction.... 🤣 it's game over sometimes hey. But also I think as we go along we get a lot better at noticing our signs and figuring out what works best to support us in those moments 😊
In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)
@Jynx I get so stressed trying to get things done, and when I am getting things done, I'm super angry if someone disrupts me, the ADHD rage is so real.
I have my psych appointment tomorrow, I have lots to fill her up on. I'm also doing the ED assessment tomorrow, so I'm not sure how much I will be able to cover. I guess I'll see how the sessions pans out. I'm seeing her after quite some time, last session was like 4 weeks ago (which isn't nearly enough). I might be able to get more sessions if I meet criteria for ED plan. It's hard with monthly sessions, a lot happens in a month. I also have complex mental health presentations, god, I hate saying that
In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)
JynxModerator
Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)
@creative_writer sounds like a really big day tomorrow hun, I hope it goes real smooooooth 🤞
@creative_writer wrote: I also have complex mental health presentations, god, I hate saying that
For shame reasons, or because the phrasing makes your brain do a frowny face? Either way, super legit.
In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)
@Jynx maybe it’s a combination of both. I think many of us internalise stigma around mental health, it takes a lot of work to undo it. I know wording wise MH practitioners are trying to be less pathologising. Things like treatment resistant or non compliant are enter worse terms, but complex mental health presentation makes me feel broken. Maybe it’s just the way I look at it, it’s meant to be neutral in language, but doesn’t sit right. Living with multiple mental illnesses plus neurodivergence is a lot, especially when it’s so chronic. I felt like I’ll go into loops of always getting sick, physically and mentally and then getting better, only to go backwards after some time.
I knew I had a weird relationship with food. I needed a professional to tell me I’ve been not eating adequately for years. I hid behind heathy eating, and was stuck in a loop, still am. It was always going to affect my neurotransmitters and immune system
In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)
JynxModerator
Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)
If I was to hazard a guess @creative_writer - is it the word 'complex', which kinda feels similar to 'too-hard-basket'?
I think sometimes it really helps to have that external/professional validation. I imagine it's a lot to process though. Hope you're taking it slow, baby steps and all that jazz 💜
In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)
@Jynx yeah, it kind of feels like that. I know my supports won’t give up on me. I think they recognise that ideally I need more support than I’m getting.
Yeah, sometimes we need a professional. I recently consulted a personal trainer for exercise support. Their gym offers nutritional support as part of the package (it’s all self directed with check in at start and end). It’s also time limited. I have a lot of issues around gut health. She is knowledgeable on gut health and has lived experience. She pointed out my diet was inadequate. Then it became obvious I had a problem with food. Trying to eat better has been hard, and I have to go slow because my body struggles to digest and emotionally I can’t do it. I’m more likely to go backwards if I push myself. I may need to look for ED related dietician support to get that support I may need. I probably need regular appointments and more intensive support. Just need to wait for paperwork
In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)
JynxModerator
Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)
@creative_writer kinda hectic that this has all come from a PT appt! Doubly unexpected.
Aww hun, I hear how much this weighs on you. I know we aren't gonna give up on you either - forums fam has your back! 💜
In response to: Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)
@Jynx she’s a PT and nutritionist. She focuses a lot on gut health, women health and performance. You know I had to stop exercising before because I felt like I couldn’t sustain it, I figured I would need to do better this time around, but it is a process. I still do experience exercise intolerance, I always try to eat a small meal afterwards to ease the discomfort. I’m not saying she hasn’t been helpful, but I think someone who specialises in ED might be the next step.
I think this PT and nutritionist knows my habits are very disordered. She has struggled with disordered eating herself. She wants me to go slow and not push myself because I think she recognises that it’s hard for me both physically and mentally.
The forums have been an amazing and supportive place 💖. Sometimes you have to accept the facts. Denial is super common among those with EDs and disordered eating. I think my mum also struggles with body image issues, so does my sister. It’s super common in this age and time. Obviously not everyone gets to the ED stage, but there is so much pressure. For me it’s a coping strategy, I have a lot of chaos in my life rn
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