Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

@creative_writer Aw hun, many big hugs

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

For real, I have cried on calls before. To get to that point there had to be a certain amount of mutual vulnerability - so the very few times it was obvious, I do believe that it was a comfort to them, to share their sorrow. You never know 💜

@Jynx I think calls can be emotional, people tend to call when they’re super heightened. I’m sure they hear it in my voice. We are evolved to have mirror neurons.

It was a hectic night. I forgot to take my meds, so took them during the wee hours in the morning. I wasn’t just overwhelmed with trauma. This may sound crazy, but I think I sort of sensed something was up. I woke up to find out my grandma is no longer. I’ve been migrainey and emotional today. Migraine was bad enough that I had to eat breakfast food for dinner. My ED wanted me to cave in today, because it’s been super emotional, but I know my grandma would never want me to torture myself from grief. Might need to figure out other healthier ways to cope instead of resorting to wanting to gain control through ED. Grief is out of my control, my brain automatically goes to what I can control

Oh hun, I am so sorry for your loss @creative_writer

I just lost my grandma too so I got heaps of solidarity and hugs for ya

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

It doesn't sound crazy at all. I think we can sense more than we sometimes realise, and that includes the loss of someone with whom we had a connection. Sounds like you are trying to honour her memory, tough as it can be 💜

@Jynx sorry to hear you lost your gran 💖🫂. It’s rough, I knew it was going to happen, but I didn’t realise today was going to be the day. I think my parents received a call at around 4am. She lived overseas and we hadn’t seen her for a while but she was very sick for a long time. She had her funeral today.

You know how sometimes on TV characters feel something when their loved ones are in danger, I felt a sense of dread. Human connections run deep on a spiritual level. I don’t believe we ever lose that connection.

It is hard. I know she was suffering everyday, I don’t want her to suffer. Grief is hard for the ones that are left behind in this mortal world

@creative_writer it's wild how sudden it can be even after I knew for months she was struggling w organ shut down 😪 I think death always feels unexpected tbh

Totally agree. Your gran and mine are still with us hey 💜

I think the quote that I have found most comforting is, "Grief is love with nowhere left to go..."

@Jynx death comes unexpectedly, I don’t think anyone can fully mentally prepare for it.

Human souls always stay connected, even after the body dies. The memories remain.

It’s amazing how much meaning people create from grief. It is a process, I don’t think I’ve fully processed it yet. Maybe it’s still so fresh, it hasn’t even been a day. I’ve been trying to hold in my tears, not a super healthy approach

@creative_writer 100% on both counts

Is it mainly an instinct to hold em back?

@Jynx I get super embarrassed crying in front of people. I know I need to let emotions out, but it’s been a struggle for me for a very long time. I used to hold back tears since I was a child . It does build up and it’s so exhausting. I do have those nights here and there when I do let it out, but it’s not super often

@creative_writer I hope you can find a night to let go sometime soon hun 🤞

Rest well and I'll catch you next time 💜

@Jynx it’s hard, I feel like it’s better to cry in the moment, because tears pass by and may not come back for a while. Maybe I do need to learn to be more comfortable with my tears, but I think that isn’t going to change anytime soon.

I hope you had a restful night, and that the ADHD fairies didn’t give you too much trouble 💖. The ADHD brain is so weird