AuDHD Life: Anyone else?

I do it before I go somewhere @0ddsidian. Like at work I’ll take a few deep breaths in the car before I get out. All my psychiatrist, psychologist and dietitian appointments I take deep breaths before they join the zoom meetings. Even to go into the supermarket. I need preparation in case I see someone and can’t avoid them. Small country town it’s hard to escape people.

Yep Jynx is one of a kind! I’m actually envious of them as they are so unapologetically themselves.

Defs can’t do everyday but I do think of you and try to see something! You have opened my eyes.

Im so glad I have a dishwasher! I’m gagging even thinking about proper dishes! I can’t handle it. The slimy wet food scraps, the dirty water, the temperature of the water, the feel of the sponge on the dishes, my hands in dirty water… Gloves feel restrictive and touch my hands. The only things I wash now is what doesn't go in the dishwasher like pots and pans.

Another sensory thing for me is too many layers of clothes and tight clothes. I realised that last night when people had jumpers under their work shirts, I felt restricted looking at them and kept having to shake my body to loosen them in my mind! Weird.. I know.

I found the toothbrush helps. When I work I shower the night before for sleep hygiene and so if I can’t get into the shower in the morning I’ve at least had one the night before. So when I put my deodorant on the toothbrush is there and I brush my teeth at the same time. Same as if I’m leaving the house and don’t shower, the toothbrush is there! Showering is not a strong suit of mine. But when I do at least the toothbrush is in there to clean my teeth.

I was suppose to do housework today but that’ll have to wait until tomorrow now. Plus tomorrow I have to mow and whipper snipper my back yard, that takes just over two hours. Then the next day I have to do the front yard, change bed linen and bath both dogs. Thursday I have to clean the house, go shopping and food prep for work for the next few days. It’s a lot and then the coordinator from the mental health group I have started going to wants to catch up for and hour or two to get to know me. I told her I’d like to get to know her too just to be polite, I don’t care too! 😂

Do you have much to do?

It can be the hardest to remember to do the deep breathing while we're in the anxious moment, @Captain24. Great that you're getting yourself in the best headspace you can before those stressful events / tasks.

I have often said the same thing about Jynx. I've learnt SO much from them.

I think the more I do the three good things activity the easier it gets. My three today are:
1) My partner's cat let me pick it up this morning (it rarely lets me)
2) I bought matching Christmas pjs for my family and I, and they arrived today.
3) I completed some admin work that I wasn't excited to complete haha

I wish I had a dishwasher! My reactions are similar to yours, hence why I often put it off for as long as possible.

I agree with too many layers of clothes. I don't mind of clothes are tight but stretchy (like leggings). Nothing you have said is in any way weird. Like, at all 😂

I go through phases with showering. Sometimes I adore it. Sometimes (when I'm feeling particularly low motivation and depressed) I don't want to do it. I also have a lot of hair on my head so washing and drying it is a HASSLE haha

I like how you've got your list broken down into days. That's a great idea. What does "clean the house" involve?

I have my "work list", which is fairly long. My "personal list" is less long. I need to call the dentist, put away my washing and tidy my office.

Jynx sounds like an awesome person @0ddsidian

That’s good things. I’m glad you got the admin work done, that would be a massive struggle for me. I like the way it’s different things and not the run of the mill stuff. I’ll keep trying. I’m really trying for today but the only thing I’ve got is cuddles from my dogs. Oh and the excitement from Pix as she knows that I’m home for a few days and she doesn’t have to go to nanny’s house.

I can do stretchy clothes but nothing constricting. I struggle with my hi-vis clothes. My regular clothes are all the same like I have the exact same tracksuit in 4 different colours. My jeans are all the same to the point that I have 3 pairs the same colour. I have 6 polo shirts all the same just in different colours. When I find something I like I get a few as I find clothes that I feel comfy in is hard.

I can go days without showering. I know that’s disgusting but I just can’t do it. I get the lot of hair in your head. I do too. I hate washing it and blow drying it. I have to blow dry it, it takes hours to dry naturally.

I get overwhelmed if I just write the list, setting it up in days seems to lighten the load a little. For me clean the house is t really much, get rid of the rubbish pack and unpack the dishwasher, clean the kitchen benches, clean the ensuite vanity and mirror, vacuum, sweep and wash all the floors. Plus do any washing and ironing. So it’s not a great list but at least the place looks tidy.

The work list sounds overwhelming. That’s why I like my job. I go there drive around in circles for 12.5 hours and drive home. I’m out of the house for 14 hours but once the block is done I don’t have to think about it. There is no calls, no contact whatsoever. I use to work in management in retail so this whole no contact thing is strange.

You make your personal list sound easy. Maybe I’m putting too much pressure on myself and that’s why I keep burning out…

They are, @Captain24. Weird as hell, in the best way haha

Some days I'll pick run-of-the-mil stuff, but it depends on what's happened in the last 24 hours. I try to pick different things each time (where possible) to challenge myself even more. Keep trying! You're genuinely doing a great job. I've made @Meredyth49 do this about a million times haha

In the nicest and cutest way, I love that you have a bunch of exactly the same clothes (or same but different colours). Almost like a really cool cartoon character! It's so fine to like what you like.

I have definitely had periods of my life where I've gone days without showering. I don't think it's disgusting. Ideal? Probably not. But I've also gone a month without doing dishes so 🙃

That's a wonderful list and I would be overwhelmed by that. Again, I'm incredibly impressed!

The work list is fine. I work out my priorities and if I can't figure them out I ask ElephantEar haha It takes practice but I've gotten better at prioritising.

It wouldn't surprise me that you put pressure on yourself. I recommend keeping your routine if you find it easy enough, but my general rule when it comes to my personal to-do list is to do the things I NEED to do in order to function. Anything outside of that can be pushed back and reprioritised.

I’ll see how I go tomorrow maybe I’ll have some good things in my day. @0ddsidian. At least I’m not the only one but you do have me looking which is a good start.

If I find something that I feel comfortable in then I go for it. It’s kind of an obsession having a variety of colours but I find some things really restrictive and don’t feel free. Plus deciding what to wear is so hard. That means making a decision so if I can lessen my decisions that makes things easier!

Yeah. The non showering things isn’t ideal. But some days are too hard. I need to work on looking after my skin though as I have a dermatologist appointment in a month! She does skin checks while I’m there for my vitiligo. Also this time I have a red growth growing on my arm that I may need checked.

When I didn’t have a dishwasher I waited u til I had no dishes left. I was really good at stacking the dirty dishes!

Im hoping that when I get up I just start. If I can start and not stop that would be good but I’m having real trouble if late with just sitting and doom scrolling. I refresh so many times and just see the same things. But everything I have to do tomorrow means I’ll be going until well into the afternoon if I don’t take a break. So it’s a lot and overwhelming. The lawns really have to be done though as there is snakes getting about. There has been 3 posts today in my estate about browns being in peoples yards. I had one a march and it’s now a phobia. I’m actually scared to go out and do my lawn! The anxiety is insurmountable

Im glad you have help prioritising. I’m not very good at that. I just think it all has to be done and now!

I wear predominantly all black, @Captain24, so that I don't have to think about whether anything "goes together". Comfort over fashion. ALWAYS 😂

Some days really are too hard. What is it about showering that you don't like? For me, it's the effort to get myself dry afterwards.

I love how you're reframed the dirty dishes story into something where you demonstrate your strength for stacking dishes in the sink. Amazing haha

Sending you all the positive vibes for your lawn, and to keep the browns away. Hopefully they just hightail it out of there when they hear the mower.

Sounds like your black and white thinking also extends to task management 😉

Yep definitely comfort! @0ddsidian. My clothes are easy so I don’t have to think about it. One less thing to worry about in a day.

The whole effort of getting into the shower. I’m ok once I’m in there but, like you said, I then have to dry myself. I do find it a little easier before bed as I have to get undressed anyway but then I’m tired and ‘can’t be bothered’ The whole washing my hair is okish while I’m in the shower but it’s the massive effort afterwards.

I never thought of that as a reframe! Maybe I can do reframing.

My house is clean so I have done yesterday’s list and now I’m working on the lawns! There’s no browns in the back yard!!

I guess my black and white is in my tasks. I can see it now. There is no room for grey. I’ve either done everything or done nothing. Middle ground doesn’t happen

There are honestly so many things that we need to consider when it comes to showering @Captain24. Am I washing my hair? What will I wear after the shower? Am I shaving my body? What's the temperature outside and will I be really cold when I step out of the shower? What am I doing after the shower and how quickly does my hair need to be dried? The mental effort can be a lot. I think it becomes less effort the more consistently we stick to a routine, so that we can do it almost mindlessly, but it's never ZERO effort.

Girl, of course you can do reframing! I challenge myself to reframe virtually everything, even if it seems a little ridiculous. You can make it funny too.

Challenge: Reframe "I've spilled Fanta on my kitchen floor" into something positive. (This has happened to me haha)

You're already listing some wins for the day, and I'm sure you weren't even conscious of doing that! Yay!

So much comes with a shower @0ddsidian. It’s just overwhelming. I did have one after I mowed the lawns though. I was hot and sweaty and I’m allergic to grass. I didn’t wash my hair though as that was too much effort!

It’s taken me a little while but I think I got a reframe… ‘I probably should have water any’ I dont know if that’s right though.

The only thing I didn’t get done on my list is packing to go away. But mowing the front lawn was on tomorrows and I did it today.

Good things for today.

1. my house is clean

2. my lawns are done, including edges

3. it wasn’t enjoyable but it was an achievement. I went and met up with the facilitator of the mental health group I’m going to. She wants to get to know me. I don’t do peopling!