wandering the next steps after misdiagnosis and feeling unsafe in healthcare settings

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HI @EternalFlower , i too have had a terrible experience with "health professionals" and called thier behaviour out !!.

Forced to take medications that i had had a reaction too, and a myriad of other issues, such as no follow up services and left alone after a hospital stay.

All services i have now have been self acquired, this has difficult at times to navigate , due to my own mental state at the time, lack of executive functioning skills, self worth and fear.

I now have access to remote Therapy Phycologist , who i have chosen and is working through my complexities, providing Resouces on line that i have working with to make changes. Knowing if i dont, i will continue to spiral downwards, back to my old habits, not trusting anyone including myself and at serious risk.

I have been an inactive volcano since my childhood, and until last month , i bubbled and muddled my way through life, parenthood, study and career , but the volcano ( my feelings) had been suppressed for so long and they activated on a seismic level.

Im now rebuilding , reevaluating what is important, letting feelings in, processing them and letting them go. Setting small achvieable daily goals and congratulating myself when i win !!

I'm trying to tame this black dog, so it will sit , stand and go away, as i dont need him beside me. He has brought me down, whilst trying to protect me, often when i have not needed him to.

i hope you can find someone , as i have to let you work through your pain x

thank you @Justhere for your caring comment

i relate to bubbling through and am honestly impressed that you accomplished so much while struggling inside - sometimes it is so hard that people "read" the outside and don't see the struggle within.

The public system has a lot of flaws but you can get lucky with the right care. For me that happened once, but not twice but I guess I'm priveleged that I did have some good care. Sorry if I am complaining. There is good out there for sure, you need that listening ear.
Grateful you've kept going til you found the right ones. Hope it happens for me too x

hey @Eden1919 i agree re the horrible cycle - i feel like they withhold care from ppl with BPD which is unfortunately very dismissive

Spectrum in Victoria is the only place they feel they can send us, but I guess I also wander around that, as I'm not personally convinced that Spectrum has the ability to help vulnerable people either, BPD or otherwise diagnosed.

I am tired of these systems and also while I used to believe strongly in peer work I don't know anymore what the answer is. Psychiatry and counselling have a lot to offer but I guess the main thing is like you said - if they spent time to properly diagnose and treat it would be clearer.

In my previous mental health treatment they assessed me for six sessions and said I didn't have BPD but had a different personality disorder (OCPD). I didn't think I had that, but I did notice they treated me a bit nicer then. They thought I was more obsessed withh details and how I needed everything to be just "so" - it also didn't help because if I asked fo a change of support they thought i was just being fussy. But they were a bit nicer, than now so I think sometimes BPD is just a barrier to services.

Hi @EternalFlower , i had given up on HOPE, no one person was going to help me, as i have never asked for help in the past.

I have now realised, that by keeping secrets and not disclosing traumas, i have internalised and carried all the pain others had no idea of. Including my children and partner.

I have since my volcano erupting realised that my emotions were valid, my pain through others eyes was real, and others were astounded how i still masked the pain for so long.

It was a dark space, i needed help that i couldn't muster myself. When i sought help, it didn't initially fix me, I've realised now , through my psychologist help , that i need to love myself for my innocence and let the feelings i have suppressed run through to enable them to go.

its not an easy journey, thoughts suppressed coming through to me, but i do feel supported now to go through them as an adult , knowing that these can no longer hurt me physically.

Mental pain is hidden well, but often seen by others who have travelled a familiar lifeline. I'm known for my smile, so i had a very well developed mask, until i erupted no one really knew how much pain i had inside.

I'm trying not to wear that old mask any more, i want my smile to be real. Only my dog can tell the difference , and since i have been letting go, she is now not anxiously by my side. She is aware of the improvements i have made, even if at times i cant see them for myself.

Hope you can find someone who can unlock you x

Hi @EternalFlower

I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling unsafe in healthcare settings. It can be really challenging to find the right support. I found the private sector to work better for me than the public. I had more control over who I saw and could move when things weren’t working out. It still took a while to find a therapist that understood me. The most important thing is to find someone you gel with. Trust yourself. You are the expect on you and your experiences.

Misdiagnosis is highly frustrating. Labels can be helpful when they fit and help you understand yourself/communicate your experiences, however they can also lead to improper treatment when they’re incorrect. Seeing as you trust your GP maybe you could see if they have any recommendations? They might know someone who could work well with you.

Don’t give up! I wish you all the luck.

hi @Lapis_Anteater i've had a bit better luck lately in private care, and have one nice NDIS worker.

This is a bit upsetting but recently I was in a mental health facility and the worker came to meet me there.
The service was accesible via a lift, and I got told by a nurse vaguely that I have to go out and meet the worker, as she's claiming she can't use lifts. No reason given.
She'd come, tell a security guard i was there, not call the nurses, and say I'd have to go down and meet her. I think she has a lift phobia. She didn't explain it to me or anyone, or attempt to use the stairs.
I got so stressed running around and signing out my limited time to meet her, and she never explained this boundary. As a mental health support worker i'd think she could be a bit up front if she was visiting people in a ward - but anyway. I find a lot of them don't attempt to fix things or try work things out or help the client. She would also take personal calls on shifts, silly things like selling items on facebook marketplace - not emergencies.

The NDIS for me really has been hard to find some good people.
My GP and I meet shortly and I'm so hoping he has some good answers, as well. Thank you for being here with me 🙂

hi @Justhere someone i met in a mental health group recently told me their dog was also responding to their mental state - thank u for sharing ur positive story - that your dog knows you're okay, and it makes them okay 🙂

I'm glad you are finding your way. Thank u for writing to me

Hi @EternalFlower

I'm having good days , and happy to share if it helps others smile.

Hope to have more good than the dark ones , thinking positive to move forward.

@EternalFlower Yes they treat you awfully when I was misdiagnosed with BPD they said I was lying about my other symptoms for attention and that I just needed to do DBT and I did do DBT and it didn’t help much at all because I was not suffering from the issues it was targeting when I would have a meltdown from sensory overload I was told I was having an attention seeking tantrum it was honestly horrible no one believed me except I had a private psychiatrist that did believe me but the public system refused to listen to him and said he was wrong. Honestly people with BPD deserve compassion and care just as much as anyone else does and the fact that they are instead treated like scum is horrifying.