How to challenge your negative thoughts

hey @BlueBay, i can see how painful these memories are. i'm so sorry that you were treated so poorly by your mum, you did not deserve that sort of response.

her words are not the truth. i know that mum's are supposed to understand and protect us, they are supposed to 'know' best but unfortunately, they're not perfect and they're not always right. you have NOT ruined the family by speaking your truth. if anything, her reaction and response is what's created this distance.

cry it out, take your time. it's better to let go of those tears than hold it in, and i hope that you feel a bit better soon. i know it can be exhausting too, but please do continue to lean on your supports. you hubby, your kids, your grandkids, your friends, the forums community - we see you, we know you deserve so much more. big hugs to you 💙

how was the walk with you friend? do you have any comfort/self-care activities cued up for today?

Hi @rav3n thanks for your reply.
I still struggle a lot with her words to me.
I can’t seem to get it out of my head.

my walk with my friend was good. An hour walk. Then we sat and had coffee and a cheese toastie.
another friend msg me to ask if I want to walk with her. So i said yes. So two walks jn one day equaled 14km !!!!

my body was wrecked. I ended up going home having a salt water bath and it was relaxing.

this morning I am getting my hair blow waved ready for my birthday lunch tomo. Still don’t know where I’m going. It’s a huge surprise.

last night my psychiatrist called me after I sent her a concerning email the day before. She wanted to check in and see how I was. I cried and told her how I miss my dad and what if I never get to see him again.
more tears on the phone. She is so caring my psych. I know tomo will be a nice day with my own family and little A but it will be touched with sadness for my dad.

I can hear how much you are still bound by those words @BlueBay and they are really impacting your life.

I really hope you get the support you need to work through this so that you can live the life you deserve. So you can do the things you want. So you can be the person you want to be.

We are here for you.

Do you have anything special planned this weekend to help you through?

Thank you @tyme

Resting afternoon.
out for lunch tomo for my surprise birthday

hope you are well xx

How'd your surprise bday go @BlueBay ?

hi @tyme @rav3n @AuntGlow @Emelia8 @Shaz51 and others following:

I had the best day celebrating my 60th birthday. The surprise was a beautiful lunch at an italian restuarant. amazing lunch, beautiful presents very spoilt and my amazing children, hubby and granddaughter.

i feel very blessed to have beautiful family.

Sounds amazing! @BlueBay

It just reminds you how much you are loved.

Hugs!

Welcome to the 60's club @BlueBay

Awww family love ❤️ My sister, how wonderful

thanks @Shaz51 @tyme

i was thinking last night about my day and as much as it was nice, full of love and laughs - i felt strange.

it got me thinking - do i deserve to feel happy? even for a day, few minutes, few hours???

i don't know how to explain this but i have a feeling this is my black and white thinking about either being happy or being sad, depressed etc etc

why can't i smile or have a laugh? i have so many photos of me smiling with my children, my little A and hubby. even laughing while trying very hard to cut the cake!!!

i looked back at my photos last night and keep thinking - is this really me??

a few days ago i was really down, couldn't care less about the world, just wanted to curl up in a ball far away from everyone

and so now because yesterday was a beautiful day - does this mean i can't feel down, depressed, sad, guilty etc etc etc ???

i am sorry i don't know how to explain how i am feeling???

@rav3n @AuntGlow and others following

hey @BlueBay i'm so glad to hear your birthday surprise went well, being surrounded by great food and great company is the best 💙

you very much deserve to be spoiled and have love poured into you.

it's okay to experience both joy and sadness at the same time - one doesn’t cancel the other out. having a beautiful day doesn’t erase the hard ones, and feeling low sometimes doesn’t mean you don’t deserve happiness when it comes.
sometimes it can be hard to sit with and really accept those 'happy' feelings when we've gotten used to feeling low. happiness can feel unfamiliar/uncomfy when we're so used to feeling pain, you deserve to enjoy/accept the good parts.